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04th Apr 2015

Sterling vs Arsenal: Unqualified body language analysis

Let me make your body talk...

Raheem Sterling was the focus of attention during Arsenal’s 4-1 victory over Liverpool. He won the penalty for his side’s consolation goal and came under our close scrutiny for clues as to his current state of mind.

We used our complete lack of expertise in the area of nonverbal communication to interpret Sterling’s bodily functions so that you can know for a fact what’s happening in the 20-year-old’s brain, thanks to our uneducated and largely pointless conjecture…

Exhibit A:

Arsenal v Liverpool - Premier League : News Photo

Look at Sterling physically balk at a rumoured £100,000 a week contract from Liverpool. Disgust and irritation is etched all over the player’s face as he contemplates the paltriness of the insulting offer.

Exhibit B:

Arsenal v Liverpool - Premier League : News Photo

Here Sterling is seen deep in thought at the likelihood of future silverware at Anfield. His terse expression displays dismay at how Liverpool’s prospects have changed so drastically since he wasn’t offered enough money.

Exhibit C:

Arsenal v Liverpool - Premier League : News Photo

In this image the young starlet has cleverly placed himself with no one else in frame. He is saying: “I’m all alone… alonea… Barcelona…” You don’t even need us to join the dots to tell where his head is.

Exhibit D:

Arsenal v Liverpool - Premier League : News Photo

Sterling is clearly pleading in the direction of Old Trafford, Manchester here. It’s a classic come-and-get-me-plea to Liverpool’s fiercest rivals. He’s trying to be subtle, but we see everything Raheem – EVERYTHING.

Exhibit E:

Arsenal v Liverpool - Premier League : News Photo

You’ll notice the Liverpool whizz-kid has placed his pointing finger (it’s a technical term) and his thumb together to form a circle. It symbolises the completion of a cycle in his young life. He’s officially ‘wantaway’.

Exhibit F:

Arsenal v Liverpool - Premier League : News Photo

By protruding his buttocks into an unsuspecting Hector Bellerin’s midriff, Sterling is saying: “I want to feel loved, Arsenal. So spoon me. Spoon me hard. Let me be the little spoon to your big spoon of financial gratification…”