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08th Apr 2015

Martin Tyler and the excitable incident

Penny for his thoughts...

Nooruddean Choudry

Was Martin Tyler inappropriately tampered with live on US television last night? Is he the latest victim of the infamous Ass Crack Bandit?

Tyler was commentating on Aston Villa’s 3-3 draw with QPR for NBC Sports Network when his dulcet tones gave way to a sudden shriek as hat-trick hero Christian Benteke shanked an effort over the bar.

Fans of US show Community will know all about the ‘Ass Crack Bandit’, who made a habit of depositing quarters into his/her unsuspecting victims’ behind quarters. He/She appeared in the Basic Intergluteal Numismatics episode.

Whether the bandit themselves or a copycat bum botherer was to blame for Tyler’s unexpected high note, one thing is for sure – Aston Villa vs QPR couldn’t possibly be the reason for such an excitable squeal of pain/pleasure.

[We have no evidence to suggest that Martin Tyler’s derrière was desecrated in any way. Any resemblance to ass cracks filled or vacant is purely coincidental.]