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07th Apr 2015

Malky Mackay: Was there a secret deal with UKIP?

Not a racist at all...

Nooruddean Choudry

Malky Mackay was sacked by Wigan Athletic yesterday after only 138 days in charge of the Championship club. But the question on everyone’s lips is: Was he pushed or did he jump?

Well he was pushed obviously, because he was sacked.

Liverpool v Cardiff City - Premier League : News Photo

But nevertheless, we at JOE are led to believe (mainly by our fertile imaginations) that Mackay was in secret talks with Nigel Farage to defect to UKIP and Wigan’s actions were a pre-emptive move to avoid embarrassment.

It is thought (by us) that Mackay was particularly impressed with the way that Farage came across in the recent Leaders’ Debate and found the UKIP leader to be a common man with common sense views that only a public school educated former commodities trader could understand.

UKIP Leader Nigel Farage Campaigning In South Shields : News Photo

What makes Mackay and UKIP particularly compatible is both are continually stressing how they’re not in slightest bit racist or homophobic. The political party just has an unfortunate habit of employing politicians and councillors who quite often say racist and homophobic things.

Mackay of course left Cardiff City amid a scandal concerning a number of offensive texts, but as he explained at the time, they were just a few from thousands. It’s a bit like the Infinite Monkey Theorem but with a non-racist manager for a chimp and really racist texts instead of Shakespeare.

Aston Villa v Cardiff City - Premier League : News Photo

UKIP and Farage would welcome someone like Mackay, who makes such an expert job of f*cking up and then somehow seeming like the victim. He also fits the party brief of standing on the sidelines and shouting loud enough to get the attention of those making important decisions.

Mackay for his part is remaining tight-lipped about his future plans but is known to be a Eurosceptic. In that he is very sceptical about ever getting a job that involves European football. Or football.