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05th Jul 2017

JOE’s Transfer Digest – Wayne Rooney excited to inject some lethargy into Everton attack

Wayne Rooney said he's keen to get to work and start killing all momentum Everton have

Wayne Farry

Welcome to JOE’s Transfer Digest. Sit down, take your shoes off, have a glass of warm milk and bask in the alluring glow of transfer rumours.

After a short period of inactivity, teams are truly beginning to spend some money in this transfer window, which currently has only a little over 50 days left in it…

Rooney keen to make a difference

Manchester United captain Wayne Rooney is, according to a host of media outlets, on the verge of a spectacular and romantic return to boyhood club Everton.

After 14 years away from Goodison Park, the 31-year-old forward will make a triumphant return as part of manager Ronald Koeman’s rebuilding project.

Speaking this morning, Rooney waxed lyrical about Koeman’s vision at the club, and admitted that he’s extremely excited to inject some lethargy into the team’s attack.

“It’s a dream for me to come home. It’ll be great being back and most importantly, making a difference to the team. This team has a lot of pace so it’s up to me to get the ball, slow it down, and lose any momentum we have on the ball,” said Rooney, adding that he’s also excited to spray 40-yard passes to no one in particular.

“I know what my role is, so any time we’re on a break it’s my responsibility to look for the ball, take six or seven touches and essentially, let the game pass me by. I can’t wait.”

Arsenal fan to find new cause for anger

While the signing of Alexandre Lacazette has been widely welcomed among Arsenal fans, one particular supporter has been left disappointed at the successful transfer.

Gunners fan Pablo Meyers, aged 19, has admitted that while the Frenchman’s signing is no doubt a positive, it has left him looking for something new to berate the club about on Twitter.

“For the last year – at least – I’ve logged onto Twitter in the morning and immediately replied ‘ANNOUNCE LACAZETTE’ to all the club tweets that I had missed since going to bed. It became part of my daily routine, the main part actually,” said the sad young man this morning. “I’m not sure what my life means now.”

Terry confident he can win over Villa fans

John Terry’s move to Aston Villa this week surprised many in football, not least because the Birmingham club’s fans, who have repeatedly sung disparaging songs about the former Chelsea captain in the past.

Speaking yesterday evening however, Terry expressed confidence in his ability to win over the Villa supporters using his “innate likability”.

“Yes, they have sung some songs about me in the past, but they didn’t know me. I’m sure most would agree, I’m a very likable person. I have a warm, kind face. I give off a vibe of empathy and generosity, and I’m definitely not the sort of person you want to punch or see fail. These fans will soon see that, so I’m content,” he said.