Thank f*ck for Dark Messi – we needed some personality…

Lionel Messi's headbutt and throat grab on Roma defender Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa - in a friendly game - was a disgrace.

It was brattish, offensive and unnecessary - just a terrible example to set to adoring young kids everywhere. It was also f*cking hilarious and a welcome show of personality from the greatest player in the history of the game. The perception of Messi as a sweet little manchild was never accurate, but there has always been something very Disney about him. As if he was a certificate 'U' Maradona, designed by a Mumsnet focus group. But Messi is not a playful infant. He is a 28-year-old man who gets the sh*t kicked out of him every single game. To never react or show any sign of testosterone would be both odd and strangely annoying. The level to which he is scrutinised is ridiculous. The fact that he needs to shield his mouth when talking to friends and team-mates for fear of lip readers is absurd. That kind of relentless surveillance and image protection can erode a man's natural instincts and alter their behaviour. It can leave them sounding like a performing seal, smiling and clapping on cue. Messi is often depicted as the Yin to Cristiano Ronaldo's Yang. The latter is roundly perceived as macho, powerful, hot-headed and irritable; 'Leo' on the other hand is the sweet, meek, dainty alternative. Again in Disney terms, the Real Madrid star would be the rich, handsome prince whose vanity and arrogance offends, while Messi is the charming little farmhand. The toy every kid wants in their Happy Meal. But it's a load of bollocks, of course. He isn't some simpleton who performs miracles on the pitch, and then sits in the corner of the dressing room mesmerised by shiny things. Messi is no stranger to little shows of petulance, but his 'disgraceful' behaviour on Wednesday night came as welcome relief to his PG persona. He is after all an Argentine - taking no sh*t whatsoever is in their DNA. The football world doesn't need a two-dimensional cartoon character as its best player - it needs an angry, dark, interesting Lionel Messi. We don't know about you, but we like him more for his show of aggro.