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30th Apr 2015

Retro Nokia phones are the latest gadget for paranoid drug dealers

They just love a game of Snake really...

Ben Kenyon

All the cool kids want retro gear these days.

First analogue cameras, then vinyl and how could you forget the comeback of 90s fashion last summer?

JOE knew it was only a matter of time before retro phones came back in vogue.

But surprisingly it’s not hipsters that are clamouring for a vintage mobile. Instead, it seems that paranoid drug dealers are shunning the latest smartphones in favour of the old Nokia 8210.

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The 90s phone doesn’t come with WiFi, Bluetooth, GPS tracking or the internet.

And that’s exactly why they’re proving so popular with your friendly local community narcotics retailers – police find the phones harder to track.

One dealer named K2 (a man mountain, no doubt) told The Daily Mirror: “I have been told they can be trusted unlike these iPhones and new phones which the police can easily find out where you have been.

“The feds can now use Wi-Fi and Bluetooth to get information from the phone and seem to be able to listen to phones a lot easier now than ever before.

“Every dealer I know use old phones and the Nokia 8210 is the one everyone wants because of how small it is and how long the battery lasts, and it was the best phone when it came out.”

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It might be a dinosaur compared to an iPhone, but still – it comes with a calculator for adding up your drug debts and you can have a good old game of Snake.

What’s not to love?