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26th October 2015
12:08pm GMT

We're a few bars in and I'm waiting for the first piece of profound dad commentary. I look at him and his head is cocked to one side, I can tell what he wants to say...
Playing it safe, he asks, "Is this a good song? Her voice sounds a bit weak, maybe it's the acoustics."
Ellie continues with her performance...
https://twitter.com/billboard/status/658439969887920128
And then he simply can't help himself. "Is she stuck to that plinth? That dress isn't too good is it? It looks like something you'd see in the back streets of Milan."
"Ermmm. Is that so?"
Justin Bieber is back on stage picking up one of his five awards of the night and breaking the record for the most MTV EMAs won ever, although that's not enough to make him break down in tears like he did during the VMAs in August.
Picking up 'Best Look', dad reacts: "BEST LOOK!? What? Is that an actual category? Not even style, but look? He looks ridiculous."
https://twitter.com/iankeithtom/status/658416240403292161
Bieber says: "I got these looks from my mama."
Dad: "Oh, how profound."
Ed Sheeran and Rudimental collaborate for the band's track 'Lay It All On Me'...
https://twitter.com/stefa73it/status/658587301203857408
After, dad says, "That didn't sound anything like it does on the radio."
Mark Ronson is on stage presenting an award but is more occupied with the gin and tonic in his hand, and it isn't long before Ed Sheeran makes it clear he's also on the booze train.
"They're all getting pissed!" says dad laughing. "Can't blame them..."
Even the adverts get dad's goat. It's the Call Of Duty: Black Ops 3 promo featuring Rolling Stone's 'Paint It Black' as the soundtrack.
"What's this? A game!? What, and the Stones said yes to this?"
"Money talks, dad", I reply.
"So what! It's not like the Stones need it" he says huffing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbxujPpr3MY
Dad's back after a toilet break and Pharrell Williams is being introduced by Ed, who by this point is well on his way...
"He looks like he's about to creosote the fence" dad retorts as he's sitting down. I laugh.
https://twitter.com/billboard/status/658469353810214912
'LET THEM IN!' shouts Williams as he breaks into a performance of 'Freedom', resulting in a sing-along and the biggest audience response of the show.
https://twitter.com/stefa73it/status/658586309884252160
"This looks like one of the only performances that wasn't put together this morning. He always thinks about the choreography doesn't he? Does things a bit differently?" says dad.
"Yes. Pharell's got a lot of experience, he's been around a while."
"How old is he?"
"Early forties, 42 or something..."
"Is he!? Wow."
And with that the 2015 MTV EMAs are over.
"Thank god for that" says dad and he turns over to MOTD 2.Explore more on these topics:

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