Snape, Snape, Severus Snape, DUMBLEDORE What is that mysterious ticking noise? The Potter Puppet Pals know. On 24th March, 2007, the world changed forever with the upload of one singular video, now sitting at 188 million views. Potter Puppet Pals: The Mysterious Ticking Noise. The ensemble cast of Snape, Dumbledore, Ron, Hermione, Harry and He […]

6 years ago

When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go Downton (Abbey) Clocking in at a confident 11hrs 30mins runtime, this autumn’s breakout movie comes in the form of Downton Abbey. The story follows on from where the TV series left off, with the great Lord Chumsbottom still trying to sell his obnoxiously […]

6 years ago

You’re Gunther!  Friends, am I right? The show turns 25 this week and with it comes a whole new world of incredibly dated content. In case you missed it the first time around, now is your chance to finally find out which Friends character you’re most similar to. Could it be Teresa? Maybe Phil? Or even Tony? Calm […]

6 years ago

Week 4 – Dairy! Still coming down from the absolute triumph that was GBBO‘s Dairy Week debut last night? I feel you. Get some liquids. It was a mammal’s milk bonanza, with each bake, much like every other week on the show, containing dairy ingredients. There was laughter, there were some tears, there were literal tiers […]

6 years ago

The one where mass unrest is created You’re invited to the party. It’s nothing too fancy, just a few drinks, maybe some vol au vents and tiny fight will break out over whether Shrek 2 has a better soundtrack than Cruel Intentions (it does). When the party wraps up, you’ll stick around to help clean up. Monica will […]

6 years ago

If you’re not watching Succession, respectfully, please sort out your sad little life. Thank you I will say it again. If you are not watching Succession, please rectify that at your nearest convenience, then return here for some exceptional content. It’s dangerous to call it as early as Q3 during this fiscal year, but Succession 2 is very definitely one […]

6 years ago

Turn that clown upside down Clowns, am I right? Some of us like them, some of us loathe them, some of us are lowkey attracted to them, some of us are indifferent towards them and some of us indeed are them. So where do you land on the clown spectrum? Frankly, if you don’t know […]

6 years ago

“I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar” One is a money-hungry status-obsessed TV villain who is potentially responsible for a large amount of morally-suspect endeavours, devoid of any real human emotion or sense of remorse… and the […]

6 years ago

*extremely The Apprentice music* The evenings are getting shorter, winter is threatening to come early and spooky season is very nearly upon us. This can mean but one simple thing. The Apprentice is coming. Typically, the series begins around the start of October each year, which means that in a matter of weeks, we’re going to have a fresh […]

6 years ago

Week 3 – Bread! Last night’s GBBO should’ve been called ‘Bready Steady Bake’, but whatever. Our aspiring bakers baked their little baking hearts out, all while Paul Hollywood remained as smug as ever while he got to sample their efforts in a field which he has somehow claimed ownership of despite never applying for nor being granted […]

6 years ago

Should’ve called it I’m A Celebrity MasterChef, Get Me Out of Here! Not sure if you’ve heard, but Celebrity MasterChef is back on telly. Last night’s episode saw Alex from Love Island, Jenny from The Chase, Dom off Gogglebox, Mim from the BBC and comedian Josie Long attempting to withstand the heat in a bid to avoid getting out of the kitchen. Rather than […]

6 years ago

September is having a very normal one already We currently find ourselves in September, or as it’s known to approximately nine people, ‘Preparedness month’. What does that mean? Excellent question, and one that I, among countless others, truly cannot answer without resorting to Google. Basically, you need to be ready for a disaster to happen […]

6 years ago

BEST! May I present to you the greatest email-themed tweet of our generation: https://twitter.com/NattyGov/status/1039200176542560256 With the greatest respect to Ray Tomlinson, the inventor of electronic mail, emails suck ass. They’re boring, they’re lengthy, they bring out the worst in people and they distract us from what really matters in life – trying to look busy […]

6 years ago

“It really smells like a public restroom” Baba Vanga was a mystic from Bulgaria. She had a relatively normal childhood until the age of 12, when she lost her eyesight in a freak tornado. A powerful gust of wind is said to have lifted her high up into the air, then thrown Baba to the […]

6 years ago

Journalism? Completed it, mate It has very recently been brought to my attention that Queen Elizabeth II eats her bananas a certain type of way. According to former royal chef Darren McGrady, the Queen eats a banana with a knife and fork(!). The peculiarity doesn’t end there, as his Eating Royally book divulges. The preparation […]

6 years ago

Week 2 – Biscuits! The country is on its knees and there’s only one thing that can truly unite us all – GBBO! Last night’s instalment of the show proved that it’s possible for us all to band together, setting aside our differences to stand united on one key issue facing society today: Fig Rolls are […]

6 years ago

Great British Quiz Off Not sure if you’ve heard but GBBO is back and it’s better than ever, but also very much the same. Series ten kicked off last night with a whopper thirteen contestants who have an average age of just 7 years old. With all the hype surrounding our newest crop of bakers, it’s important […]

6 years ago

Week 1 It’s back! GBBO is back on the telly and finally our lives can regain purpose once again! Last night we saw the series get off to an explosive start with 13 (thirteen!) bakers competing in the famous GBBO tent to the best of their respective abilities. It’s early days, but we have already preemptively crowned our winner. […]

6 years ago

Adele Dazeem is cancelled The MTV VMAs took place last night, which stands for Music Television Video Music Awards, so in that respect, the abbreviations make a lot of sense. Attendees were comprised of a real who’s who of the music industry, including Lizzo, the Jonas Brothers (and spouses), two Hadids and for some reason, […]

7 years ago

Contains spoilers! Do not read about G7 if you have missed G1-G6 Summit’s going in in Biarritz right now (Do you get it? Because there is a summit. The G7 summit, to be precise). The 45th G7 summit is entering its final day in France today, after discussing official things like climate change, global trade, […]

7 years ago

Add to cart > remove from cart > modify order > request extra cheese > place order Right, it has happened. You’ve really gone and done it this time. You went for what was initially advertised as precisely one beer last night and have woken up feeling like a radiator that needs to be bled […]

7 years ago

Could it *BE* more 1995? The year is 1995 and Microsoft has enlisted the help of national treasures Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry to explain their new Windows 95 operating system. In this era-defining video, our trusted duo takes us through the ins and outs of this revolutionary system, balanced with the perfect amount of […]

7 years ago

IT’S NOT THAT BAD Precisely three minutes past the hour of 11am on Saturday, 17th August, 2019, the world changed forever. A title previously held by the music video for Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ was overthrown by a new, even worse offering. ‘The worst video in the world’ arrived, and nobody, not a single soul was […]

7 years ago

Series 10 We are just one calendar week away from the launch of GBBO series ten and the nation’s appetite for some very mild baking drama is sufficiently whet. This year there’s thirteen hopefuls entering the sweaty tent, an increase of precisely one person compared to previous years. A baker’s dozen, if you will. The upcoming series […]

7 years ago

Fresco Jesus? But I barely know him We’re just four days away from the seven-year anniversary of the Fresco Jesus Incident. Everyone remembers where they were when the news reached them that ‘Ecce Homo’ had been ruined. Many of our minds immediately jumped to terrorism. Surely an act so sinister could only be carried out […]

7 years ago

Ice lollies, am I right? If you’re yet to consume (to completion) an ice lolly this summer, respectfully, what are you playing at? Stop reading this. Go outside, walk or drive to your nearest convenience store and purchase a big, juicy, flavoursome ice lolly and live your damn life. There’s no situation that cannot be […]

7 years ago

There’s no such thing as a bad score, except anything lower than 10 Have you ever seen an old album that you hadn’t seen in a while and thought, ‘Good album cover, that’? Furthermore, have you ever seen an old album that you hadn’t seen in a while and thought, ‘Good album cover, that. One […]

7 years ago

Big fish, little fish, flexible pressurised tube The hottest talking point of the moment is a fish tube video that went viral earlier this week. If you’re not already part of the party, now is your opportunity to join. https://twitter.com/kashthefuturist/status/1159610222148669440 Why is this so enchanting? It’s hypnotic, it’s progressive, it’s wholesome, it’s exciting, it is […]

7 years ago

That’s what she said We’re now entering our sixth year without The US Office. Things are different now. The air feels heavier, food doesn’t taste the same, dogs bark a little more frequently than before. It’s not that the world is a worse place without The Office, it’s just more of a chore to live in it. […]

7 years ago

Mint In the ultimate act of tidying your house before a tornado bulldozes through it, reducing the property to a steaming pile of rubble, the UK treasury is producing a commemorative Brexit 50p coin. Sajid Javid is currently figuring out plans to get the coins ready by the scheduled leave date of 31st October, meaning […]

7 years ago

Tonight we’re gonna quizzy like it’s 1999 Remember 1999? We were listening to the greatest song of all time (Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega), watching The Sopranos, playing with Furbies, reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and begging our parents to let us go to the cinema to see Toy Story 2.  It was a big year […]

7 years ago

Remember when ‘Covfefe’ was the least of our worries? Coffee is good, possibly even great. As a concept, flawless. Execution, flawless. Results, flawless. As with anything, it’s important to point out that some types of coffee are slightly inferior to others. For example, ‘One decaf coffee, please’ is the order of a jester and ‘Do […]

7 years ago

Now would you like me to be the cat? 2006 was a wild time. Pluto was downgraded from a planet to a dwarf planet, everyone kept saying ‘My wife!’ in a Borat voice, bird flu was rampant, Steve Irwin died and George Galloway was busy pretending to be a cat on Celebrity Big Brother series four. The world changed […]

7 years ago

“Down the hall and to the left” Not sure if you’ve heard, but Home Alone is getting a reboot. The specifics haven’t been confirmed yet, but Disney is going to see to it that the movie is “reimagined for a new generation”, so that sounds promising(?) Does this mean that Donald Trump will make another cameo? Probably […]

7 years ago

It’s time to hear the other side of the story In case you haven’t been able to make sense of the latest viral talking point on Twitter, allow me to clear things up. Legit question for rural Americans – How do I kill the 30-50 feral hogs that run into my yard within 3-5 mins […]

7 years ago

It’s Love Island, not Quiz Island (yet) Remember Love Island 2019? You should. It only ended four days ago. There were highs and lows, swings and roundabouts, bucket hats and hair extensions. It was a wild ride from start to finish. But it’s now been almost two months since this year’s series officially started. How good is your memory, […]

7 years ago

Quiz w***er!

7 years ago

It is with a heavy heart we must announce that Crocs are at it again Youtuber channel ‘Unnecessary Inventions‘ has created something so sick, so sinister, so repulsive that the world itself may never be the same again. Introducing: Crocs Gloves. Just in case the above video confuses you in any way, let me be […]

7 years ago

July, am I right? It’s been a big old month for Twitter, with some of the funniest tweets ever recorded being distributed online. Users truly surpassed themselves over the past 31 days, producing hilarious content to a very high standard in a bid to distract us all from our impending mortality due to the fact […]

7 years ago

It was what it was Love Island 2019 has finished. We are now living in a post-apocalyptic world between the hours of 8-9pm, Sunday-Friday. But we mustn’t cry because it is over. Heavens no. We must smile because it happened. Then, we must rank the contestants from worst to best for no reason other than […]

7 years ago

Day 49 We did it! We survived Love Island 2019! Please collect your complementary tote bag and personalised lanyard on your way out. Last night, the series finally wrapped, with *SPOILER ALERT* love being the true winner. Just kidding, it was TV ratings. Amber and Greg were rightly crowned our victors, with Molly-Mae and Tommy finishing in […]

7 years ago

Day 48 It’s! The! Penultimate! Episode! Of! Love Island! 2019! The annual ‘Let’s see if your parents hate me for trying to shag you on the telly’ episode of Love Island aired last night and it was an absolute treat. Devastatingly, everything ran quite smoothly. Nobody punched anyone, no one refused to shake hands, there were no tears of […]

7 years ago

GONNA TAKE MY HORSE TO THE HOTEL ROOM As the great Limmy continues to remind us time and time again, check out Daft Punk’s new single ‘Get Lucky’ if you get the chance. Sound of the summer. Not sure if you’ve noticed, but the summer is here. Ice cream sales have gone up, airline ticket […]

7 years ago

Day 46 Flames to dust, lovers to friends, why must all Love Island series come to an end? We’re now officially in the ‘winding down’ stage of this year’s Love Island.  The couples are sticking together like hogs to a truffle, the stupid tasks are finally finished and it’s mostly just a waiting game for the islanders at this […]

7 years ago

Day 45 Love Island? More like BETRAYAL ISLAND, am I right? Folks it kicked off last night, following on from the night before where it did indeed kick off as well. The previous night’s drama continued as it so often does, with the islanders having the benefit of a good’s night sleep fuelling their further descent into […]

7 years ago

Twitter, am I right? It is a gigantic cesspit of nonsense at the best of times, but every so often, a legitimately funny tweet emerges from the woods. That’s the only logical reason for still being on Twitter in the year of our Lord 2019. The sporadic lols. 2019 has gotten off to a very […]

7 years ago

Day 44 Big bloody night in the Love Island villa last night. Big bloody night. Huge. Meaty. Delicious. Satisfying. It all kicked off and we finally got what we so richly crave – A SMALL BIT OF DRAMA. Curtis absolutely fucked everything by excitedly salsa dancing his way over to Maura to deliver some gossip, which she […]

7 years ago

It quiz what it quiz Love Island 2019 is steadily coming closer to the end. But we mustn’t frown because it’s almost over. Heavens no. Instead, we must smile because it happened. This year’s contestants were a raucous bunch at times. Were they the most entertaining Love Island lineup we’ve ever had? Honestly, no. But we made the […]

7 years ago

Day 43 Big old night in the Love Island villa, wasn’t it? If your definition of a big old night involves a lot of sitting around, a heap of eggs being cooked in a variety of different ways, some arguments, questionable eyewear and a guaranteed minimum of one person crying at all times. Still, not long to […]

7 years ago

Mutton dressed as lamb, dressed as a pig Last Friday, four heavyweights of the music industry released brand new music on the same day. Iggy Azalea, Various Artists – The Lion King edition, Sum 41 and Peppa Pig all dropped new albums and us innocent bystanders upheld our civic duty by picking them up, digitally speaking. […]

7 years ago