Day 42 We’re hitting the final stretch of Love Island 2019 and it feels right. Next week, our winners are going to be crowned and we’ll instantly forget everything about them, as is the traditional arc of a Love Island cycle. So let’s savour this week, yeah? Let’s hold off on the “Who cares?” comments just this once, as a […]

7 years ago

It’s quizness time Remember a simpler time when the painful affliction of dial-up internet would heavily pixellate images and force you to sit staring back at your own reflection on the computer screen waiting for movie posters and their accompanying cinema times to load? Well, those days are long gone, but for the purpose of […]

7 years ago

PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN This week, the world is celebrating the 50th anniversary of the moon landing. Commander Neil Armstrong and lunar module pilot Buzz Aldrin were the first two men to walk on the surface of the literal moon on 20th July, 1969 (nice). At the time, the world witnessed this historic event […]

7 years ago

Day 40 The worst part about storming Area 51 is going to be when we have to explain to the aliens what Love Island is and why we’re all watching it. Last night’s show saw a reptile invasion in the villa, in the form of one gigantic snake named Michael Griffiths. As the prophecy foretold, Michael has […]

7 years ago

Day 39 Becoming increasingly likely that the real Love Island was the dank memes we created along the way. Last night’s episode was moderately exciting as we saw three new players enter the arena. Due to a sheer lack of exposure to viable candidates, everyone conveniently seems to fancy everyone. Elsewhere, Amber seemed to finally be getting […]

7 years ago

Brands, am I right? Some brands take liberties with the spelling of their names. It’s a tough stance that I’m willing to take. For example, the spelling of ‘Froot Loops’ and ‘Tumblr’ are the workings of an absolute madman (or madwoman). Every day we’re exposed to bajillions of brand logos, which generally come as a […]

7 years ago

Day 38 Truth be told, I am running out of introductions for this daily Love Island roundup. The show aired last night. Some things happened. There was noisy kissing. People sat in the sun. Flirting took place. It’s rumoured that this series will finish on Monday 29th July and frankly, that feels about right. We’ve had our […]

7 years ago

You can’t spell America without Erica Not sure if you’ve heard, but Stranger Things 3 is now available to stream on Netflix. Naturally, more spoilers than a used car dealership lie ahead. If you haven’t finished the series yet, respectfully, go away (and come back later). Now then. Decent series, wasn’t it? Strong start, sufficient middle and […]

7 years ago

Day 37 Quite an evening took place in the Love Island villa yesterday, credit where it’s due. The islanders were set with the unthinkable task of choosing between Michael or Joanna to stay and continue their journey into becoming a profitable influencer for the next fiscal year. Tensions were running high, but ultimately justice prevailed and both […]

7 years ago

Day 36 Another week, another six evenings out of seven spent watching the unfolding adventures on that pesky Love Island. Last night’s show took an unexpected twist when it emerged that people are still using the term ‘lipsing’ in the year of our Lord 2019. More on this as the story develops. Elsewhere, a game as […]

7 years ago

It is with a heavy heart I must announce that The Americans™ are at it again They have taken the pinnacle of British reality television formats and produced their own version of Love Island, cleverly calling it Love Island USA. The main differences are that it takes place in Fiji, Caroline Flack is non-existent, the contestants are indeed […]

7 years ago

Day 33 Love Island, am I right? Last night’s episode was a whirlwind from start to finish. There were highs, there were lows, there were subtle background objects that you might not have noticed. We’re now just over halfway through the series and it’s important that we all check in with each other and make […]

7 years ago

Listen, we’re all thinking about it At this very moment in time, we’re all acutely aware of the fact that the planet is dying and it’s all our fault. The attendees of baby Archie’s christening are no exception to this mindset. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have released an official photograph from the christening […]

7 years ago

Day 30 Gonna level with you here given that we’re five weeks into Love Island 2019. Bit of a shit series, innit? They’ve chosen contestants that are fine, but they’ve sacrificed the banter. It’s an entertainment show. Maura, for orthopaedic reasons, cannot carry the entire series alone. She needs likeminded people to bounce off. Where’s the spark? […]

7 years ago

Melania Stump Someone has used a chainsaw to carve a life size statue of Melania Trump. That is what has happened. That is what we know. The results are very much what you would expect. Bizarre statue of Melania Trump erected in Slovenia https://t.co/pKbrGAtZFa pic.twitter.com/wuTsGnB3pM — New York Post (@nypost) July 5, 2019 In Slovenia, […]

7 years ago

Day 29 Five weeks into Love Island 2019 and what have we learned? Mostly just that casting attractive people for reality TV is aesthetically pleasing, but good grief are they boring. Obviously we’re all going to have to see this series through right until the bitter end, but would it have killed them to send in a […]

7 years ago

Knowing meme, knowing you (AHA) 2019 has been a strong year for memes (so far). Is it as strong as the first half of the fiscal year 2018? Truly, probably not. But it’s still been fine. The internet has been swarmed with content ranging from topical memes to downright obscure concepts that frankly never deserved […]

7 years ago

Day 27 Just another classic night in that pesky Love Island villa, wasn’t it? Yet again the show comprised of two separate arguments dominating all talking points, leaving room for very little excitement in other departments, namely, there was no banter. Still, it was fun to see Curtis continue to dig a sizeable hole for […]

7 years ago

Day 26 Love Island? More like Argument Island, am I right? Last night’s show was just three separate arguments spread out over the course of 46 minutes, with supporting roles added here and there, displaying varying levels of conviction from all participants involved. It was a heavy watch. There was no room to breathe. No banter […]

7 years ago

NUDGE Remember MSN Messenger? Remember how unbearably cringe every interaction you ever had on it was? WELL YOU DO NOW. For many of us, MSN was the true beginning of our post-childhood lives. We learned that although you were socially awkward around your crush in real life, you could also translate that to an online […]

7 years ago

Day 25 Love Island is the most gripping television series of all time. Do not @ me. Bloody kicked off last night though, didn’t it? Goodness me, finally we got the level of drama we’ve so desperately been craving for four weeks and it was delicious. The re-coupling ceremony was carnage from start to finish, made […]

7 years ago

Day 24 Just another bloody week in that Love Island villa, isn’t it? Last night’s episode was fine. It was fine. Nothing spectacular, nothing monumental just fine. The horny hopefuls are continuing to marinate in their respective villas, sussing out who’s who, what’s what and whether it truly is what it is after all. Are things a […]

7 years ago

It’s-a me, a silhouette! You have a lot more in common with a cartoon character than you think. For example, they aren’t exempt from being turned into silhouettes either. Silhouettes are just like you and I. They merely want to go about their business in the least intrusive way possible, making friends along the way […]

7 years ago

Big up Junes Brown and Sarpong! June was another strong month over on Twitter dot com, with users surpassing themselves in terms of producing some of the funniest tweets in existence. Topics discussed this month included the Aladdin magazine’s worthy cover star, quite a lot of Love Island memes, the correct way to use toilet paper, the origins […]

7 years ago

2009, am I right? The world was a very different place a decade ago. For example, we still had Mars Delights and the hope of a brighter future. We lost many heroes, but we gained countless future YouTubers, so all in all it was a relatively fair deal. The summer of 2009 was hot and […]

7 years ago

Day 22 Love Island, am I right? Last night’s show was unexpectedly savage. Everyone was having a relatively nice time looking like that little pad of paper you find in stationary shops that people use to test pens, highlighters and rinse their friends by writing down their phone numbers accompanied by the phrase ‘Call 4 a […]

7 years ago

Oh my Christ There is going to be a Gavin & Stacey special airing this Christmas. That is a fact. That is what we know. Continuing to sufficiently whet the nation’s appetites, James Corden tweeted a rehearsal photograph yesterday, proving beyond reasonable doubt that the reunion is real and it’s definitely happening. No take-backsies. Rehearsals! […]

7 years ago

Day 21 Not sure if you’ve heard, but there’s a new series of Love Island on telly at the moment. To get you up to speed, the show puts roughly 14 people into a villa together and they’re all very horny, so inevitably they start pairing off and then must fight to the death until one of […]

7 years ago

Have I Got A Quiz For You TV, am I right? It is by and large a very good thing, mostly because it gives endless quiz material. Every TV show has an opening scene, that is an undeniable fact. We have all witnessed many opening scenes in our time. Possibly even too many to count. […]

7 years ago

Day 20 Just another day on that pesky little Love Island, wasn’t it? The headlines this afternoon: The attractive people sat around and did some sunbathing, they snacked on Lidl goods, did some fighting and bitching, then had precisely two drinks each and called it a night. As is the usual pattern, we were due a […]

7 years ago

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball The Late Late Show has triumphed where politics has failed, much to the benefit of celebrity dodgeball enthusiasts worldwide. The United Kingdom and the United States of America have finally united, albeit briefly, to ascertain which of the two great nations is the best (at […]

7 years ago

Day 19 How do you know if someone doesn’t watch Love Island? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. RIP Danwande, we barely knew ye x Last night’s show was a tough one to stomach as we had to say goodbye to Queen Yewande, paving the way for Arabella, a girl who is yet to say anything of substance […]

7 years ago

Day 18 Big bag of Love Island with the boys. Last night’s Love Island was a dramatic affair, with most of it based around Yewande, Danny and Arabella’s hectic love triangle. In other news, the planet is still dying. Elsewhere, Curtis and Amy came back from their date completely oblivious to what had unfolded, dancing in front of fire […]

7 years ago

Day 16 Love Island, am I right? Another episode aired last night because that is what will continue to happen until such time as they put us all out of our misery and inevitably crown Michael and Amber the winners. What did you miss? Honestly, very little. A new girl came in, her name is the […]

7 years ago

Emmerfail We’re getting close to the four-year anniversary of The Most Ridiculous Action Scene Of The Century – Emmerdale‘s helicopter wedding crash bonanza. Widely regarded as an absolute triumph for CGI and ridiculous dramatic soap scenes alike, this stunning piece of television has everything. 2015 was the year Emmerdale put itself on the map, shedding its stereotypes of […]

7 years ago

Day 15 “Did you see Love Island last night?” is the only acceptable work conversation this summer. No more, no less. Although this year’s series is incredibly dry and slow moving, we as a nation must persevere because frankly there’s nothing better to do until the weather picks up. Last night’s episode was especially grim, with nothing […]

7 years ago

Day 14 Boy oh boy that Love Island pesky villa, eh? Last night’s episode saw the contestants regurgitate various food items into each others’ mouths all in the name of love, healthy competition and national embarrassment. We also were treated to Elma constructing the most rational and well-constructed argument we’ve ever seen in the entire history of Love Island, much […]

7 years ago

Finally, some useful road signs Not sure if you’ve heard, but the Department for Transport has launched a BrAnD nEw RoAd SiGn. To improve road safety for everyone, we are launching a new warning sign for use in accident hotspots involving small wild animals. Find out more: https://t.co/u5Ge2ONStf #RoadSafety #WilderFuture pic.twitter.com/rmkYrBuuAj — Department for Transport […]

7 years ago

Day 13 There are now 16 people in the Love Island villa and it is a health and safety nightmare. Last night we were introduced to two new islanders, whose promo photographs I will now gently mock. Jordan Jordan looks like the school bully who used to stuff peoples’ sandwiches behind cold radiators in the summer and wait […]

7 years ago

Day 12 Love Island, am I right? Now twelve days deep into this particular cycle of the show, things are by all accounts continuing to simmer away nicely. Prior to Maura’s arrival, the level of dramatics was somewhat lacklustre, but now it seems that we’re firmly on track to witness a relatively spicy series thanks […]

7 years ago

I’ve got a text notification! Honestly, at this point in the Love Island cycle, really, if we’re going to be true to ourselves, we might as well just lean into it now and go hell for leather. Love Island is a major part of our lives either directly or indirectly, and will continue to be so for […]

7 years ago

Day 10 Just another classic day in that ruddy Love Island villa innit? Thanks to the arrival of Maura ‘I Would Jump On Him’ Higgins, we finally have a bit of drama on that godforsaken island and life is finally worth living again. It took nine days for things to finally kick off, but we mustn’t look back […]

7 years ago

Day 9 “Love Island is for idiots” – a very cool legend who is better than all of us. Last night’s Love Island was really boring for the first three quarters of the show, then chaos entered the villa in the form of Elma and Maura, two girls who according to Molly-Mae, shouldn’t be hot because she’s never […]

7 years ago

Day 8 Maybe the real Love Island was the memes we saw along the way? Last night’s Love Island was decent, but there was one major flaw. After news broke around the world regarding Sharif’s departure from the show, the nation tuned in with bated breath to find out what resulted in this seemingly unproblematic dude getting kicked out […]

7 years ago

Day 7 Boy oh boy that Love Island villa, eh? It all kicked off last night, if your definition of ‘kicking off’ is a very tame evening indeed. Yewande finally got to go on a date, Molly-Mae revealed that she fancies everyone, Tommy had about twelve showers again and Curtis and Amy did some kissing. Now that […]

7 years ago

Day 6 Welcome to the second week of Love Island 2019. Not much has changed to be honest, everyone is still furiously horny, multiple love triangles exist, Anton is still very much yet to prove that he has any sort of game whatsoever. Last night’s episode was fine, it was fine. Nothing kicked off, nobody announced that […]

7 years ago

In order to become a billionaire, first you must act like a billionaire Businesswoman, media personality, model and socialite Kylie Jenner became the world’s youngest billionaire earlier this year. So what does a day in the life of Kylie Jenner entail? Probably billionaire things such as counting large piles of cash, plotting world domination and consuming […]

7 years ago

Day 4 Hard to believe we’re nearing the end of our first week of Love Island 2019 after what feels like a solid month of watching these horny young adults’ every waking moment. Last night’s show turned out to be a very sneaky affair after the teaser suggested that the new girl would be entering the villa […]

7 years ago

Day 3 Still collectively getting our bearings with this year’s Love Island contestants and their various quirks, last night’s episode was an endurance test from start to finish. Overall, it was the Lucie, Joe & Tommy show, with their three-day love triangle seemingly coming to a head, then returning back to uncertainty once again. Basically, the entire […]

7 years ago

This is Gail Platt’s world and we’re all just living in it Not sure if you’ve heard, but GAIL PLATT shot LORRAINE KELLY in the LEG with an ARROW. That’s it. That’s the news. That is what has happened in the fictional world of Weatherfield, on Coronation Street.  You may have missed this absolute spectacle, but […]

7 years ago