Pitchforks down folks, it was all a simple Fanta-based misunderstanding
Fanta Lemon is not being discontinued in the UK, I repeat, FANTA LEMON IS NOT BEING DISCONTINUED IN THE UK.
It was the horrible news had been spreading today, the news we most feared, after Fanta's official twitter account revealed that the lemon - or
limón, if you're a true connoisseur - flavoured incarnation of everyone's favourite soft drink that isn't Coke
would be discontinued.
Panic stations. The worst news since Brexit, the country was thrown into a temporary state of emergency as newsagents' were ransacked for their remaining supplies of the soft-drink.
People were left wondering what they would do from now on if they wanted a refreshing lemon-flavoured sparkling beverage, but didn't fancy forking out the extra to look like a Tory, the extistential crisis that always occurs as you peel the foil back on your San Pellegrino
Limonata and you begin wondering how you could afford to live like this, in a frenzied state of eternal decadence.
It was the drink of the people, Fanta
Limón, from cooling you down in Mallorca whilst you sat out by the pool slowly burning to a crisp to refreshing your tastebuds after a summer holiday's half-day at school, when you sprint around in the park afterwards for literally five hours, jumpers for goalposts, ties round your head, to the point of collapse through dehydration and sheer physical exhaustion.
We never would collapse and die though, because Fanta Lemon was there for us, our medicine, our sweet elixer of life.
It was always there for us, and it isn't going anywhere.
Raised hands emoji, lemon emjoi, raised hand emoji.
This is what relief feels like. Just look at all the people their twitter account is having to reassure:
https://twitter.com/fanta/status/1012498634464735233
https://twitter.com/fanta/status/1012498784671141888
https://twitter.com/fanta/status/1012639551817441280
https://twitter.com/fanta/status/1012686373030187010
https://twitter.com/fanta/status/1012686539237797889
If you're American? Well. It's no less than you deserve for your abhorrent firearm laws. Ban guns and you might just be allowed the good things in life, you know?
