WW-ouch…

11 years ago

There was a point in time when Brazilian football allowed itself to indulge completely in the beautiful game. It came in the early 80s when the likes of Zico, Socrates, Falcao and Eder were given what looked like full licence to express themselves in the most artistic way possible. The legacy of that era is that generations […]

11 years ago

We’ve already brought you the shocking revelations about what happens to your body when you have a can of Coke or Red Bull… But what about being linked Sergio Ramos? How do strong rumours that your favourite football club are about to swoop for Real Madrid’s club captain effect your health? Here’s the shocking science. […]

11 years ago

Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t score…

11 years ago

His reaction is roar-some…

11 years ago

Meet Enzo – the new captain of Real Madrid Castilla, Bernabeu’s second team. He is a 20-year-old midfielder who must wear the famous Los Blancos crest on his chest, and the moniker of ‘Zidane’ in his name. So no pressure there then. Enzo is of course Zinedine’s son, and so confident is the World Cup-winning father in […]

11 years ago

Roberto Soldado, the butt of so many jokes during his time at Spurs, is returning to his native Spain with Villareal. But rather than bemoan his ill-fated stay at White Hart Lane, the luckless striker was extremely grateful and philosophical about his time in North London. The message reads: Back to La Liga! These two […]

11 years ago

Both players are wanted men, but Louis van Gaal insists that Javier Hernandez and Adnan Januzaj are going nowhere. Last season Hernandez was behind Wayne Rooney, Robin van Persie and Radamel Falcao in the Old Trafford pecking order, and deemed so surplus to requirements that he was allowed to go out on loan to Real Madrid. […]

11 years ago

Manchester City have emerged as challengers to their red neighbours for the signature of Barcelona’s Pedro. That’s according to Spanish newspaper Marca, at least. They claim that City chief Txiki Begiristain has contacted the Catalan club to express an interest in the forward and has not ruled out making an official bid for him in the […]

11 years ago

On August 12, 2003, Manchester United signed an 18-year-old winger from Sporting Lisbon called Cristiano Ronaldo for £12.24m. Four days later, United hosted Bolton Wanderers on the opening day of the 2003/04 season. On paper it was a tough start against a talented side containing the likes of Jay-Jay Okocha, Ivan Campo and Youri Djorkaeff. At the hour mark, […]

11 years ago

What a signing this would be…

11 years ago

Paulo Wanchope wasn’t having any of it when an angry official went Bruce Lee on him. The former Derby County man is now the manager of his native Costa Rica, and was watching his Under-23 side take on Panama when the incident took place. Wanchope was annoyed by a decision and was about to remonstrate with the […]

11 years ago

Gerard Pique wasn’t at Manchester United for long, but it seems he still picked up some of the lingo. The Barcelona defender was caught in the face by Ciro Immobile’s stray arm in the Super Cup final, and was outraged that the referee missed the incident. You can clearly see Pique say: “Six officials and […]

11 years ago

A new documentary looking at the enduring legacy and appeal of Back to the Future is to be released in October. Back in Time looks at the genesis, making and impact of the BTTF movies, and how they have touched the lives of obsessional fans around the world. The documentary features brand new interviews with the likes of Michael […]

11 years ago

He was looking for a cup and then he won a cup, but heaven knows he’s miserable now. Despite being omitted from the starting lineup, Pedro was Barcelona’s super-sub as they edged out a valiant Sevilla in the UEFA Super Cup. The 28-year-old scored the ninth and decisive goal in a spectacular 5-4 win. Pedro has scored […]

11 years ago

We can guess that competing with the likes of Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez is a thirsty business, but Michael Krohn Dehli went and proved it. The Danish midfielder had just completed ninety minutes of football in the UEFA Super Cup clash against Barcelona, in a thrilling game that included eight goals. The prospect of two […]

11 years ago

It’s only August, but the Eredivisie may have served up a contender for goal of the season. PSV Eindhoven began the defence of their Dutch league title away to ADO Den Haag on Tuesday, and looked to have secured three points with seconds remaining. But deep into injury time, the Den Haag goalkeeper Martin Hansen had other ideas. […]

11 years ago

The New Zealand government have published a long list of 40 possible designs for a new flag. The campaign to change the current design was initiated by Prime Minister John Key who wanted a flag “that better reflects our status as a modern, independent nation.” Although many are in favour of  a redesign, critics point to […]

11 years ago

Jose Mourinho’s criticism of Eva Carneiro and her medical team following Chelsea’s 2-2 draw with Swansea was lots of things. It was shameless in its intent to distract from a lacklustre performance. Cheeky too, that he sought to blame the medics duped by a player feigning injury rather than the fake crock himself. But Mourinho’s bellyaching […]

11 years ago

WINNERS Kasabian Perhaps the most unlikely winners of the opening weekend were barn-rockers Kasabian. The Leicester four-piece proved the surprising inspiration behind the Foxes’ march (can one game be classed as a march?) to the summit of the embryonic league table. New manager Claudio Ranieri explained that the local band featured prominently in his team talk, as […]

11 years ago

Liverpool have been accused of overplaying during Brendan Rodgers’ reign. On Sunday the attitude seemed to be “We’ll show them…” In previous seasons under Rodgers, the Reds have faltered when their swashbuckling style has failed to reap rewards. But their visit to Stoke saw them rip up the usual template and showcase more Plan B than Now That’s What […]

11 years ago

Manchester United’s hopes of signing Pedro have been hit by an unusual snag – Neymar has contracted the mumps. United were keen to wrap up the 28-year-old’s signing by Monday so that he’d be eligible to play in both legs of their vital Champions League qualifier with Club Brugge. However, the Catalans had been delaying the […]

11 years ago

The accidental workout The gym isn’t just a place that people visit to workout – it’s a state of mind. If you’re as dedicated to personal fitness as we are at JOE, everywhere is the gym. Some days, we’re so active pacing up and down the office or across the road to get a Frappuccino that we’ve already performed a tough cardio […]

11 years ago

It’s been quite a summer at Manchester United… There have been more comings and goings than a Thai massage parlour. Word has it that a revolving door has been installed at Old Trafford because they prevent draughts (via acting as an airlock), thus preventing increases in the heating or cooling required for the building. But enough […]

11 years ago

“If like me, you’ve never been to a book reading before, I know what you’re thinking: He’s not gonna just sit there and read from a book is he? Well aye, yeah – that’s exactly what I’m gonna do…” We won’t do the accent (because we can’t), but that was the intro to Scottish comedian Brian […]

11 years ago

He came. He saw. He f*cked off. Blame on balls, burglars or the boogie, but Angel Di Maria has scarpered to France quicker than you can say ‘Qatari billions’. Both Manchester United and PSG have officially announced the transfer of the Argentine winger via their Twitter accounts. The fee is £44.3m. #mufc can confirm the sale of […]

11 years ago

Lionel Messi’s headbutt and throat grab on Roma defender Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa – in a friendly game – was a disgrace. It was brattish, offensive and unnecessary – just a terrible example to set to adoring young kids everywhere. It was also f*cking hilarious and a welcome show of personality from the greatest player in the history […]

11 years ago

They’re certainly getting excited about Angel Di Maria joining Ligue 1 over in France. It seems a formality now that the Manchester United winger won’t be a Manchester United winger for very much longer, and that he’ll presently complete a move to Paris Saint-Germain. The Argentine may have underwhelmed during his brief sojourn in Manchester, but […]

11 years ago

David Beckham has always spoken warmly of his deep affection for Manchester United, and he’s clearly still a fan at heart. Either that or he’s an extremely committed Adidas commercial ambassador, but let’s go with the former. Because, like Beckham, we’re old romantics. The fan favourite posed in a pic on his Instagram wearing the […]

11 years ago

Sometimes it’s hard to say goodbye despite knowing something is over. In the case of Rafael Da Silva, it’s particularly traumatic for both the player and Manchester United fans. The 25-year-old has signed for French club Lyon for £2.5m; he is finally wanted and should be delighted about the move. https://twitter.com/orafa2/status/628258137762590720 United are losing a player who made just […]

11 years ago

Get this lad on Match of the Day. While the nation’s more celebrated pundits pussyfoot around simple questions and pander to the fans, this kid was determined to tell it like it is. Leeds United played Everton in a pre-season friendly on Saturday, and before the game pitch announcer Rich Williams had a chat with […]

11 years ago

Thiago Silva claims that Angel Di Maria’s imminent move to Paris Saint-Germain would be a ‘step up’ from Manchester United. The Brazilian defender, who no doubt dreamt of playing for the French side as a child, reckons Di Maria is joining a bigger club. “Real Madrid and Barcelona are probably on another level, but after that […]

11 years ago

Both Catalan newspapers Sport and Mundo Deportivo claim that Pedro Rodríguez’s transfer from Barcelona to Manchester United is now a formality. The fee is expected to be in the region of £22.5m (£20m plus add ons) but each paper differs slightly on timescale. Sport reckon Wednesday’s Joan Gamper Trophy game versus Roma would be Pedro’s Barca farewell, whereas […]

11 years ago

Little boss man…

11 years ago

Epic news for hip hop heads – Dr Dre is releasing a new album this week and the remaining members of NWA may tour, according to Ice Cube. Cube was talking to Philly’s Power 99 radio station about the forthcoming Straight Outta Compton movie when the rapper revealed the news about Dre bringing out a new record. “Actually Dre is […]

11 years ago

Manchester United and Adidas have unveiled the new 2015/16 home and goalkeeper kits – and they’re very smart indeed. Here’s Bastian Schweinsteiger looking devilishly handsome in his new uniform… The mens home shirt is minimalist and smart. It has a distinctly retro feel… The long sleeve version has more layers than an Andy Kaufman film. […]

11 years ago

What must it be like to be the painted icon of a global corporation one day, and yesterday’s clown the next? Joe Maggard describes himself as the luckiest guy in the world. He is one of only eight men to have been the official Ronald McDonald. And in this short film by the Guardian’s John Dower, […]

11 years ago

This is glorious – one the biggest jokers of all time sharing a stage with a Hollywood star. For the 1994 World Cup draw, some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to invite the late, great Robin Williams to lock horns with wannabe funny man Sepp Blatter. Knowing his ego, it was […]

11 years ago

Manchester United seem to have mislaid their most expensive player in history. Either that or Angel Di Maria has gone AWOL. Even Louis van Gaal doesn’t know where he has wandered off to. When asked by reporters on the whereabouts of his absent Argentine, the Dutchman answered: “Maybe you know? I don’t know that either.” The […]

11 years ago

Manchester United slumped to a 2-0 defeat against Paris Saint-Germain in a display punctuated by profligacy in attack and chaos at the back. First-half goals from Blaise Matuidi and Zlatan Ibrahimovic proved the difference on the night as PSG found no trouble in picking the Reds off on the counter-attack. David De Gea was either experiencing […]

11 years ago

This is absolutely brutal and could have been a leg breaker. Rapid Wien faced AFC Ajax in the Ernst Happel Stadion on Wednesday night in their 3rd qualifying round Champions League tie. The lowlight of the clash was this horror ‘tackle’ on 18-year-old defender Jaïro Riedewald by Rapid’s Stefan Schwab. Schwab sent off for this dirty […]

11 years ago

We often dismiss the merchandise that comes out with blockbuster films as disposable commercialism. But these mini-scultures are truly stunning. This fascinating video sheds light on how the Marvel action heroes are crafted by hand in South Korea by the most talented of clay artists. JC Hong, the President of Hot Toys Production in Korea, goes […]

11 years ago

Trevor Noah, the man who has the unenviable task of replacing Jon Stewart as the host of the Daily Show, has spoken to James Corden about how he got the job. He’s already won our hearts by explaining to Jerry Seinfeld why our football is the real football, but he has everything to prove in […]

11 years ago

Footballers are subject to ridiculous levels of scrutiny. Every little thing they say or do is dissected to the Nth degree. So why not have a little fun? On Tuesday, Karim Benzema set the internet on fire with two simple actions. Firstly, he posted this image on his personal Instagram account… Laissons le passé au passé.. […]

11 years ago

When Andrew Driver found himself out of contract at Aberdeen at the end of the season, he knew where to turn to for advice on his next move – Football Manager. Before his recent stint at Pittodrie, Driver had spent two seasons in the United States with Houston Dynamo, but felt he needed a fresh challenge. […]

11 years ago

If at first you don’t succeed…tweet the b*stards into submission. On June 29, 2014, in the last 16 of the World Cup, Arjen Robben did this against Mexico… Technically, there was probably enough contact between the clumsy foot of Rafael Marquez and a flailing Robben to justify a penalty. But going down like a sniper victim didn’t exactly help. The […]

11 years ago

TV writer Peter Mehlman has admitted that NBC seriously considered a night of crossover episodes between Seinfeld and Friends. Both sitcoms dominated 90s telly, and the network were keen to take advantage of the fact both shows were set in New York and theoretically could have been neighbours. Unfortunately/fortunately, as much as there was an eagerness from above […]

11 years ago

This dog’s sliding challenge is definitely worse than his bite… Freiburg from Germany were playing a pre-season friendly over the weekend when a moment we can only describe as outstanding occurred. Lina Magull was chasing a high ball when a dog ran off the sideline in a cynical attempt to stop her scoring a goal, […]

11 years ago

Another transfer saga seems to be ending as so many had cynically predicted – Sergio Ramos looks set to agree a new deal with Real Madrid. Spanish newspaper and Bernabeu mouthpiece Marca report that an agreement between Ramos and Real Madrid president Florentino Perez is ‘Muy Cerca’, or ‘very close’. Marca report that Perez and Chief […]

11 years ago

Manchester United have officially confirmed the signing of Argentina goalkeeper Sergio Romero. The 28-year-old free agent has agreed a three-year deal with the club, and joined up with the rest of the squad on their pre-season tour of the US. Good morning, Europe! While you were asleep, we signed Sergio Romero… http://t.co/veVu578Q7g #WelcomeRomero pic.twitter.com/czvBgJpQKz — Manchester United […]

11 years ago