Barcelona may be famed for their celebrated La Masia complex, but Manchester United proved the kids are alright at Carrington too. In front of a full house at the Levi’s Stadium in San Francisco, Jesse Lingard scored United’s second in a 3-1 victory over the Catalans. And what a lovely worked goal it was too. Louis […]

11 years ago

Diego Maradona singing ‘No Woman No Cry’. It sounds like the stuff of dreams. And when we say dreams, we don’t mean the good kind. We mean the really weird ones you have when you’ve scoffed some brie just before bed. Well it happened and it’s real and there’s video evidence to prove it. The great Maradona […]

11 years ago

What. A. Strike. China hosted a Milan derby on Saturday and defender Philippe Mexes stunned the locals with an absolute scorcher of a volley. The Frenchman smacked a stunning acrobatic goal from a corner, which absolutely flew into the net – one of those sweet strikes that doesn’t alter in height or trajectory – BOOM. Not […]

11 years ago

You’ve got to admire the sheer front of this cheeky Red Devil… Liverpool were taking on a Malaysia XI at the Bukit Jalil National Stadium on Friday, and the place was full of adoring Liverpool fans – and one unwelcome intruder. A Manchester United fan had snuck in and was intent on enjoying himself – even if […]

11 years ago

Christian Benteke’s big-money transfer to Liverpool has been mocked and derided from all quarters. There’s an odd perception that Brendan Rodgers has bought a dud. Ribbing from rival fans is par for the course and wholly understandable, but far stranger is the distinctly lukewarm reception with which a number of Liverpool fans have greeted the […]

11 years ago

Despite Fifa’s failure to properly address the racist abuse suffered by Emmanuel Frimpong in Russia, the Ghana FA aren’t so dismissive of the matter. The Ghanaian suffered disgusting abuse from Spartak Moscow fans whilst playing for Ufa, and was sent off for reacting with a middle-finger salute. He was also handed a two-game ban for reacting. The […]

11 years ago

Good Kevin! Manchester City have wasted in no time in taking advantage of their Financial Fair Play shackles having been removed from last season. So far they’ve splashed around £70m on Liverpool’s Raheem Sterling, Aston Villa’s Fabian Delph and Fulham teenager Patrick Roberts. That could now rocket to £130m as the Citizens look likely to sign […]

11 years ago

Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t always react very well to change, especially if he’s not the main focus of that change. There were those who wondered how the brilliant Portuguese would react to Rafa Benitez taking over the reigns at Real Madrid, and how exactly that would impact upon the dynamics at the Bernabeu. Firstly, Benitez replaced […]

11 years ago

Football clubs around the country are busy stocking up on new kits. But how are they marketing their new garb? We look at a number of kit launches to work out the underlying message they’re trying to convey… Arsenal The clear indication here is that Alexis Sánchez, Jack Wilshere and Santi Cazorla are akin to Marvel superheroes. Their new […]

11 years ago

Louis van Gaal doesn’t speak English – he speaks VanGaalish. The Manchester United manager is famed across Europe for his unique take on native tongues. His versions of German and Spanish are unlike those of anyone else. Before the veteran manager came to these shores, Dutch journalist Peter Zantingh imparted 10 rules to follow when interviewing Van Gaal. It included this […]

11 years ago

Muller price Manchester United continue to rush around the transfer window like Monty Brewster on a deadline. According to Sport1 in Germany, Louis van Gaal’s number one target is Bayern Munich’s Thomas Muller, and he’s already had a £57m bid rejected. This is unlikely to deter United who are reportedly readying a second bid of around […]

11 years ago

One was a marauding young fullback from Southampton, the other a maverick powerhouse from Holland. Together they found a special bond on the left wing… Forget the Ander Herrera/David De Gea/Juan Mata Iberian clique, there’s a burgeoning new bromance happening at Manchester United these days – young Luke Shaw and newbie Memphis Depay. The pair have […]

11 years ago

Everyone loves Friends right? Right? It’s eleven years since the US sitcom came to an end, yet its appeal and influence endures to this day. Repeat showings are seemingly never-ending, whilst references to famous scenes and quotes are still everywhere. The thing is though, was it even that good? Here at JOE Towers, opinion is divided. […]

11 years ago

Edin South Arsenal have gradually built themselves a formidable-looking squad, but still lack a little something upfront. That something could be Manchester City’s Edin Dzeko, whom the Star claim has appeared on Arsene Wenger’s radar. If the move is successful, Arsenal will be the proud owners of two of the best-worst strikers in the world. Paris […]

11 years ago

As your mum always said, first impressions count. That’s never more relevant than at the cinema, where the opening shot can captivate you into another reality. Video editor Casper Christensen has put together a compilation of some of the most artistic, iconic and memorable openings in film history – and it’s beautiful. He somehow manages to seamlessly blend together […]

11 years ago

Sid Lowe, the Guardian’s eminently reliable and well-versed La Liga correspondent, has attempted to unravel fact from fiction in regards to Sergio Ramos’ future. Lowe is constantly asked for his opinion/information on the situation regarding a possible move to Manchester United for the Real club captain. On Sunday the sunset-loving journalist took to Twitter to clarify a […]

11 years ago

Gem Stones Jose Mourinho has been playing silly buggers again by very publicly announcing his interest in Everton’s John Stones. The Everton youngster is one of the most highly-regarded young defenders in the country and Chelsea have already had one bid rejected. The Mirror report that this won’t deter Mourinho, who made his intentions clear with […]

11 years ago

How do you solve a problem like…

11 years ago

Fenerbahçe have signed Robin van Persie from Manchester United – and the player insists he leaves with only fond memories. The 31-year-old was extremely magnanimous about leaving Old Trafford and all his United chums. “I had a good moment with the players the day before I came to Istanbul so that was special,” said the Dutch […]

11 years ago

Lana Del Rey has dropped (is that what the cool kids say?) a brand new song from her forthcoming album. The pouty princess of bluesy glam-pop has released a ditty entitled Honeymoon. It’s very much in the same vein as her Born To Die material, with a sweeping score, dreamy arrangement and melancholy delivery. Oh and just in case […]

11 years ago

On Friday July 10, Manchester United were in desperate need of midfield recruits. On Monday July 13, they are embarrassed with options in the middle of the park. Ed Woodward worked with all the surgical efficiency of a cunning playmaker to secure the signings of Bastian Schweinsteiger and Morgan Schneiderlin, telling his critics to “Schhh” in […]

11 years ago

Vote for Pedro It’s been a while since Chelsea signed an attacking midfielder/winger to supplement the 6,000 they already have at Stamford Bridge. With reserves running low, Spain’s SPORT publication report that Jose Mourinho wants to bring Barca’s Pedro to the club. The 22-year-old is still to sign a new deal with the Catalan club, […]

11 years ago

JJ Abrams, director of the new Star Wars instalment, had a treat for congregated fans at Comic-Con 2015… Although diehard devotees of the fantasy adventure will have to wait until later in the year for a full-length trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, they were treated to a three minute behind-the-scenes video. The footage […]

11 years ago

They don’t fool us…

11 years ago

Muller boner Football can be a cruel maiden sometimes. One minute you’re the belle of the ball and being courted by everyone; the next you’re an unwanted frump. Robin van Persie, so recently Manchester United’s matinee idol du jour to stick up on their prison walls, is now yesterday’s starlet and off to Turkey. The new Raquel Welch they’ve asked […]

11 years ago

Manchester United are on the verge of signing Torino full-back Matteo Darmian. Here’s our comprehensive profile of the Italian defender… *Matteo Darmian is a product of the AC Milan youth academy. Carlo Ancelotti gave him his debut for the Rossoneri in 2006 at the tender age of 16. Despite impressing at youth level as captain of […]

11 years ago

Manc musician Johnny Marr reckons George Osborne should stop treating Northerners like idiots. The Chancellor of the Exchequer announced his summer budget on Wednesday, and repeatedly referred to his vision of a ‘Northern Powerhouse’. Osborne coined the term to describe the devolution of powers to local authorities in the north, subject to an elected mayor. Manchester is at the forefront […]

11 years ago

You know you’re getting old when the cast of Spider-Man start looking younger… We recently brought you the news that the incredibly fresh-faced Tom Holland would be playing the lead role. Now we can reveal that Marisa Tomei will appear in the reboot. Not as a love interest but as AUNT MAY. That’s right, the incredibly beautiful […]

11 years ago

Toodle-loo Robin van Persie…

11 years ago

Manchester United’s pursuit of Morgan Schneiderlin has become the will-they-won’t-they saga of the summer. Last time on U•N•I•T•E•D, it seemed like a match made in heaven. Louis van Gaal was in need of a long-term replacement for Michael Carrick, and lovable midfielder-next-door Morgan was the perfect fit. Despite the advances of hunky Arsene Wenger, it looked certain […]

11 years ago

Ster crazy If Manchester City were relying on Raheem Sterling to kick up a stink at Anfield to force a move, he is carrying out his end of the bargain. The Mirror report that the want-away winger has made it clear to Liverpool that he’d rather not join their tour party to Australia and South-East Asia. […]

11 years ago

It’s A Wonderful Life tells the story of a man who wishes he didn’t exist, but goes on to realise that the world is a much better place with him in it. Frank Capra’s timeless film is a tribute to the selfless man; someone so painfully unaware of his own merits and importance to others […]

11 years ago

Popcornus Relaxus Don’t take anything they read or see particularly seriously, instead preferring to wait until prospective targets are holding aloft a megastore scarf at an official press conference. They do however enjoy watching others slowly unravel as the summer rolls on and rumours prove unfounded. Rollis Coastum Take every rumour on face value, refusing to […]

11 years ago

Selling family Silva As Manchester United scour the globe for a right-back who could possibly improve on Antonio Valencia, they look set to flog Rafael da Silva. The right-back, who can play right-back, and won things under Fergie playing right-back, is persona non-grata at Old Trafford. Sky Sports report that Louis van Gaal will listen to […]

11 years ago

The M Files…

11 years ago

He’s excelled at writing, acting, singing, rapping and music production, and now details have emerged of Donald Glover’s self-penned new comedy pilot… Donald Glover AKA Community’s Troy Barnes AKA Grammy-nominated Childish Gambino is to produce, write and star in Atlanta, a show about the rap scene in Georgia’s capital. Glover plays Earnest ‘Earn’ Marks, who starts […]

11 years ago

“I feel close to the rebelliousness and vigour of the youth here. Perhaps time will seperate us, but nobody can deny that here, behind the windows of Manchester, there is an insane love of football, of celebration and of music.” From those words it’s clear that Eric Cantona just gets Manchester. Both in sentiment and psychology. […]

11 years ago

Thank Evans for Seamus Manchester United are hoping that Roberto Martinez and Everton really really love once promising defenders whose careers have stagnated. According to the Star, the Old Trafford club aim to prise Seamus Coleman away from Goodison by offering Jonny Evans as part of the deal. Using a player you don’t want to sign […]

11 years ago

Robin redface Whilst the entrance door at Old Trafford remains noticeably unused, it seems United chiefs are trying to push someone out of the exit. The Mirror report that Manchester United have been trying to offload Robin van Persie to the continent for some time now – without the striker’s knowledge. The source for the story? […]

11 years ago

Gathering Ramos We’re not sure where exactly the tipping point is between ‘transfer story’ and ‘transfer saga’ but the Ramos/De Gea affair is verging towards the latter. The latest is there’s no real latest. Manchester United and Real Madrid are stuck at an impasse and neither seems willing to relent. The Mirror report that United […]

11 years ago

The camera never lies…is of course the biggest falsehood of them all. We know it does. Each angle, perspective and separate frame of frozen time tells a completely different story. But sometimes, a single image can encapsulate the spirit of a person or place with far greater realism and clarity than high-definition moving pictures ever could. It is why […]

11 years ago

Absolute Bastian As Manchester United attempt to wrap up the signing of Southampton’s Morgan Schneiderlin this week, another Sch… has gone quiet about a move. According to Sport1 in Germany, Bastian Schweinsteiger has cooled on a move to Old Trafford as he’s now keen to stay at Bayern Munich. Apparently the greedy 30-year-old wants to win a fourth […]

11 years ago

The Scouser-than-Scouse Liverpool, as with most of the world’s biggest clubs, have a proud tradition of foreign fans supporting the team through thick and (often) thin – and most are as passionate and informed as any Anfield native. But the Scouser-than-Scouse takes things that one step too far. They express their obsession by attempting to out-Scouse Scousers […]

11 years ago

City Serg ahead of United As Manchester United and Real Madrid continue to play a game of cat and mouse involving Sergio Ramos and David de Gea to see who’ll blink first, Manchester City have entered the mixed metaphor. According to the Mirror, Manchester’s noisy neighbours are monitoring developments and are primed to make their move […]

11 years ago

Mr Lama with some of his groupies

11 years ago

No place like Olmes…

11 years ago

Edin to Manchester?

11 years ago

Mis-pep…

11 years ago

Each week our resident DJs, the Soultwins, select a classic record from their extensive collection to get you in the mood for the weekend… Sexual Healing – Hot 8 Brass Band Soultwin Stu: “I’d say Marvin was my favourite soul artist, so I usually steer clear of people messing with his music – especially cover versions – […]

11 years ago

It’s a good time to be Chris Evans. The last couple of weeks have seen the 49-year-old named as the new host of his favourite show, Top Gear, and given a new eight-part series of his most famous telly-box vehicle, TFI Friday. Neither is much of a surprise when you think about it. Few presenters […]

11 years ago