What happens to your body after being linked with Sergio Ramos [Infographic]

We've already brought you the shocking revelations about what happens to your body when you have a can of Coke or Red Bull...

But what about being linked Sergio Ramos? How do strong rumours that your favourite football club are about to swoop for Real Madrid's club captain effect your health? Here's the shocking science. Trust us - you'll never want to be linked to Sergio Ramos again... (Click to enlarge)

First week

When the transfer rumour first hits you, there is an immediate spike in excitement and an urge to include the player in possible formations.

2-4 weeks

Your brain starts to send messages to your keyboard about why Ramos would relish the prospect of playing alongside Chris Smalling, Jonny Evans and Phil Jones.

3-5 weeks

Delusion sets in as you completely dismiss the possibility of signing the likes of Stefan de Vrij because ‘he’s no Sergio Ramos’.

6-8 weeks

Excitement turns to anger as there’s no progress. Blood pressure rises and there is a strong desire to indiscriminately berate La Liga journalists.

9-11 weeks

You start to hallucinate and see things that aren’t really there, like Ramos 'cutting a forlorn figure in matches', and displaying his anger with Florentino Perez in the way he shakes his hand.

12-14 weeks

There is a huge come down as Ramos signs a new contract with Real Madrid. The crash is followed by a sudden curiosity about whether De Vrij is available.