When it rains it pours for Louis van Gaal. Many assumed Wayne Rooney was being rested when he wasn’t listed in the squad to travel to Denmark for Man United’s Europa game with FC Midtjylland. But now it has emerged that he will face up to two months on the sidelines after suffering knee ligament damage. […]

11 years ago

It just ain’t right. There are certain things that you don’t really want to see, mainly because they distort your view of the world and wrinkle your brain. These include a) your parents having sex, b) Martin Skrtel with hair. The Liverpool defender has carefully cultivated the look and reputation of a modern day hardman. His head is […]

11 years ago

Oh Jesse. Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. First that ‘Dabberman’ stuff and now this. Manchester United’s industrious academy product has cemented his place in Louis van Gaal’s thoughts with his energetic displays and direct style this season, but he should perhaps leave the showboating to others. Certainly when it comes to flashy kitchen moves the 23-year-old is probably asking […]

11 years ago

You know you’re getting old when football managers start to look younger. Hoffenheim have made history this week by appointing Julian Nagelsmann as their new head coach. At 28 years of age, he becomes the youngest Bundesliga manager ever. He replaces Huub Stevens, who was forced to retire due to ill health. Stevens is just about old enough […]

11 years ago

They asked for it. When Arsenal’s official Twitter account invited followers to replicate Mesut Ozil’s thumb-sucking celebration against AFC Bournemouth, for a chance to be on the cover of their next programme, they must have known they’d get some p*sstakers… How do you fancy being on the front of an official @Arsenal matchday programme? https://t.co/NVTZTJLQ6c […]

11 years ago

It’s important to note that he hasn’t actually been confirmed as the next manager but… Many Man United fans are somewhat concerned with rumours that Mourinho would seek to offload Juan Mata for the second time in his career, should he take over the reigns from Louis van Gaal. Of course the Portuguese was directly responsible for […]

11 years ago

Here at JOE Towers we’re a suck it and see kind of lot. That’s to say we’re more than happy to see how things go with the new revamp of Top Gear sans Messrs Clarkson, Hammond and May, rather than jumping to any pre-emptive conclusions. That said, we were as intrigued as anyone when the […]

11 years ago

“Set up a website tho” In fairness, the guy’s got a point. You may have noticed that Daniel Sturridge is attempting to further his personal brand via the medium of headwear of late with caps adorned with his dancing silhouette… Looks who's back. Not sure about the cap though. #LFC #LIVSUN #Sturridge pic.twitter.com/Qh0OM09WiX — Propaganda […]

11 years ago

What were they thinking? It’s nice that New York City FC went to all this trouble of presenting their new away kit to their fans, but after witnessing the absolute state of it, we really wouldn’t have bothered. https://twitter.com/KurtLarSUN/status/697530349002182656 The MLS club decided to ‘surprise’ supporters in their promotional video (whisper it but it all looks […]

11 years ago

Poor Phil Jones can’t win on social media. When he’s not accidentally p*ssing off Man United fans by plastering his logo all over an image of the Busby Babes, he is mercilessly ripped apart for trying to grow his ‘personal brand’ via the internet. And so it proved again as the generally likeable if somewhat awkward […]

11 years ago

What are they thinking? We appreciate that things need to change with the times, honestly we do. In this age of short attention spans and even shorter fashions, there is a requirement for brands to maintain fresh and never get staid. That said, some things just work. Take for instance the patches that adorn Premier League shirts. For many […]

11 years ago

It looks like Jose Mourinho has competition. The football world may be collectively assuming that the infamous Portuguese is definitely taking over as manager of Manchester United at the end of the season, but it seems it is far from a one-horse race. Many speculated that Mourinho’s chances of replacing Louis van Gaal in the Old Trafford […]

11 years ago

As Brendan Rodgers would say, what a character… The very commendable campaign by Liverpool supporters to take a stand against spiralling ticket prices is no laughing matter. Those in power are beginning to take notice and even Jurgen Klopp has had his say. But perhaps no one has expressed fan derision with quite the eloquence, succinctness and […]

11 years ago

Diego Costa may have equalised for Chelsea, but Man United fans held only one man responsible. Jesse Lingard had put the visitors in the lead on the 61st minute with a wonderful spin and shot past Thibaut Courtois, and up until a minute into injury time, David de Gea was producing miracle saves to keep […]

11 years ago

It’s Sunday’s showpiece event, and the teamsheets are in… Chelsea host Man United in a game that’s about so much more than 5th versus 13th in the grand scheme of things. Can Louis van Gaal continue his side’s mini-revival? Will Guus Hiddink embarrass his compatriot? These are the sides charged with bringing success to their respective Dutch […]

11 years ago

Could it possibly be true? Are Man United finally on the verge of getting their sh*t together? Since Sir Alex Ferguson and David Gill left the club, and Ed Woodward, David Moyes and then Louis van Gaal took charge, the once unstoppable winning machine has ground to a halt. Every move seems opportunistic and ill-planned. […]

11 years ago

Francesco Totti. 39 years of age and still all the enthusiasm of a child. The legendary playmaker started his beloved AS Roma’s game with Sassuolo on Tuesday night on the bench, and decided to entertain himself with some playful japery. First he enjoyed a game of keepy-uppy with a very lucky ballboy, who can tell his future kids […]

11 years ago

Poor Arsenal fans. It’s the hope that kills. In a season in which the league was wide open, with no one team looking to dominate, it was surely Arsenal’s title to lose. Or at least that is how it seemed at the end of 2015. Arsene Wenger had assembled a squad of power, pace and determination, and […]

11 years ago

North Norfolk Digital’s finest is back. Alan Partridge is returning to our screens this month, judging from this short snippet from the forthcoming new series of Mid Morning Matters on Sky Atlantic, he’s on top form. Like a pair of your favourite nylon slacks, Partridge is cool, snug and perfectly fitting – with a magical little frisson of static […]

11 years ago

It’s only been a matter of hours and already people are complaining. Perhaps it’s the hyperbolic nature of rolling news, or the proliferation of social media…or maybe rival fans are just plain jealous. Whatever the reason, it seems many are already bored of the Pep Guardiola hype machine. The Catalan is still a good few months […]

11 years ago

We definitely maybe think Liam Gallagher is excited about Pep Guardiola’s appointment. The ex-Oasis frontman and Man City fan isn’t exactly crying his heart out about Manuel Pellegrini being outta time. In fact, rather than looking back in anger, some might say he’s up in the sky about a better man coming in. pic.twitter.com/oTfy2YgkY9 — […]

11 years ago

Straight from the horse’s mouth…or the horse’s agent at least. Man United have waited until the final day of the transfer window to scramble about for a full-back. There have already been stories of both Arsenal and Spurs rebuffing Old Trafford advances for their reserves. Whether either of those rumours are true is open to debate, […]

11 years ago

Alan Irwin eat your heart out. Who can forget that glorious evening when the Sky Sports reporter was at the receiving end of a purple dildo in the ear at Everton’s Finch Farm on transfer deadline day. Rather disappointingly, Irwin reacted with absolute professionalism. He hardly flinched when the rogue sex toy invaded his aural passage, instead […]

11 years ago

There’s a propensity in football to deal in absolutes. For example, how often have you heard the phrase: ‘If club X sign player Y, everyone else may as well give up and just hand them the title’. Your average football fan is a bit of drama queen and certainly not averse to fatalistic proclamations. Alas it rarely pans […]

11 years ago

There’s only one Mousa Dembele…or maybe not. On Friday morning, Spurs tied down Mousa Dembele to a fresh new deal that will commit the muscular midfielder to the North London club until 2019. The 28-year-old first arrived at White Hart Lane back in 2012. At the time, Fulham were reluctant to let the player go, but were largely […]

11 years ago

If Man United fans were disappointed about Javier Hernandez leaving the club, things could be about to get a whole lot worse. The former Old Trafford favourite has been in startling form for Bayer Leverkusen since his summer move to the Bundesliga, racking up 19 goals in 25 games whilst United flounder. According to the Times, […]

11 years ago

Did he bring his passport? Anyone who has heard actor Jack O’Connell speak (or witnessed Angelina Jolie trying to imitate him) would be forgiven for thinking that Derby is an exotic faraway place on the other side of the globe. But no, apparently it’s a city in the East Midlands – in the United Kingdom. No […]

11 years ago

Any Man United fan will tell you that Angel Di Maria is capable of both the sublime and the ridiculous. His time at Old Trafford was punctuated by the odd moment of utter brilliance, but was all too often underwhelming and occasionally rank awful. Starring for Paris Saint-Germain against Toulouse, the mercurial Argentine first produced this effort, […]

11 years ago

It was billed as the dream final, but many are glad it won’t now come to pass. With Liverpool safely through to the Capital One Cup final following their defeat of Stoke City, and Everton taking a one-goal lead into the second leg of their semi-final with Man City, everything pointed to an all-Merseyside final. […]

11 years ago

This is pretty f*cking cool. You may remember our spiffing video of Robert Lewandowski mocked up as Jesus Quintana (John Turturro) from The Big Lebowski‘s iconic bowling scene… The Big Lewandowski. pic.twitter.com/IJH86Iy4G9 — JOE (@JOE_co_uk) September 23, 2015 It earned rave reviews and we were delighted with the response. But even we didn’t expect the man himself […]

11 years ago

What the f*ck did we just see? Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining is of course a masterpiece of cinema. The 1980 release is critically acclaimed for its thrilling tempo, unsettling plot and masterly cinematography. Each scene is a perfectly composed masterpiece. The Chickening, a short film that parodies the iconic movie, is daft, twisted, immature and quite […]

11 years ago

Donald Trump is making an indelible mark on the American psyche. Thus far many have dismissed the billionaire Republican nominee as a sideshow; an irresistible media circus that will die out in good time for the US elections proper. But he’s not going away, and neither are his extreme, ridiculous and worrying opinions. The fear is […]

11 years ago

One is possibly the most divisive individual in his arena…and the other is running for President of the United States. Cristiano Ronaldo may only be 30 years of age and still breaking goalscoring records all over the shop, but he is clearly planning for life after football with some prudent financial investments. According to Marca, the […]

11 years ago

He is the panto villain of the Premier League. Everyone loves to hate Diego Costa, and none more so than Arsenal fans. His rambunctious style and combative nature make him a magnet for controversy. To say he stretches the rules on the pitch at times is an understatement. However, it seems there may be another side […]

11 years ago

Dismay at Louis van Gaal is turning into anger at Ed Woodward. Man United supporters are not a happy bunch. The Premier League title race is wide open and United are nowhere to be seen. As for the football, it’s duller than anything experienced at Old Trafford since the Dave Sexton-era – possibly ever. Van Gaal […]

11 years ago

Now this is a film we’d love to see. Everyone may still be buzzing after the latest trailer for David Ayer’s Suicide Squad dropped, but it hasn’t taken long for the fan parodies to appear all over the internet. Chief amongst them is this marvellous effort by the Unusual Supect, in which the YouTuber recreates the […]

11 years ago

Cool runnings

11 years ago

You’ve really got to feel for the folk looking after Man United’s twitter account. Such is the feeling of misery and anger amongst the Old Trafford faithful these days that every tweet is greeted with some level of resentment or snarkiness. Good news is very much at a premium, and it seems even nostalgia doesn’t work in brightening […]

11 years ago

Mesut Ozil is treated like a king in North London. After a brief period of time in which he divided opinion amongst some Gooners (who couldn’t quite appreciate his subtle genius), the German is now the undisputed poster boy of Arsenal fans everywhere. Indeed many can’t believe that Real Madrid let the mercurial 27-year-old go […]

11 years ago

It doesn’t seem like subtlety is Alex Teixeira’s strong suit. Just a day after hinting very obviously that he’d love to be a Liverpool player by liking images of himself in the famous red shirt on Instagram, the Brazilian has verbalised his desire to make a deal happen. The 26-year-old has been in stunning form this […]

11 years ago

She’s quickly become one of the most successful comedians in the world, but this doesn’t bode well. Amy Schumer has denied she is a ‘joke thief’, after various comics and fans alike had accused the award-winning stand up and actress of stealing other comics’ patter. It has been claimed that Schumer has recycled material from […]

11 years ago

Back of the net! Jonathan Pearce came over all Alan Partridge during the BBC’s coverage of Leicester City vs Tottenham Hotspur in the third round of the FA Cup on Wednesday night. As well as his trademark facts and observations, the commentator seemed a little befuddled with the modern world as he shared the gantry with Kevin Kilbane. […]

11 years ago

He certainly knows how to paint a picture. Sitting but a few feet away from a clearly agitated and furious Rafael dos Anjos, Conor McGregor was full of all the bravado and gory imagery we’ve come to expect from a man in danger of transcending his sport. The Irishman was in top form as he goaded […]

11 years ago

Oh Michael. Liverpool fans are the first to defend their club if they feel that they are coming under unfair criticism. In fact you’ll do well to find a more vociferous sets of supporters, in every sense of the word. But they are also realists who appreciate that Jurgen Klopp has much to do before their […]

11 years ago

What a man. Wednesday marks the 31st anniversary of Paolo Maldini’s professional debut for AC Milan vs Udinese in 1985. In a glittering career that was laden with team and personal honours, the Milanese legend cemented his place in footballing history as one of the greatest players ever. It is also hard to ignore the fact that […]

11 years ago

Seriously, what is she on? If you ever wondered what would happen if the irresistible f*cknut met the immovable thunderb*stard, you were in luck this week, as celebrity idiot Sarah Palin jumped aboard the Donald Trump bandwagon to endorse the walking wig’s Republican candidacy. Any sane person of remotely sound mind would of course dismiss the pair as […]

11 years ago

He may jump before he’s pushed. Following numerous reports that Louis van Gaal needed to be talked out of resigning by Ed Woodward at the end of last year, it seems he is determined to cut short his Old Trafford tenure. The Mirror report that the beleaguered Dutchman is considering walking out on Man United at the end […]

11 years ago

This changes everything. We’re all used to mixing our sweet and salty popcorn, and salted caramel is everywhere, but have McDonald’s gone too far with their latest culinary invention? The official account has proudly announced a new addition to the sugar-savoury canon – the McChoco Potato… Everybody has a sweet and a salty side. Now, […]

11 years ago

Talk about harsh. This eleven-year old wasn’t taking any prisoners when he/she decided to give David Walliams a piece of their mind. Despite being an ardent fan of the funnyman’s collection of children’s books, the youngster was less than impressed with a TV adaptation of Billionaire Boy, which aired on BBC One on New Year’s Day. So much […]

11 years ago

If ever an end justified a means. Manchester United players on Twitter were quite rightly ridiculed last week for partaking in a painfully transparent marketing ploy. They were asked to promote the Revenant starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy, and did so with mechanical obedience. On Sunday too they mindlessly carried out orders in the most […]

11 years ago