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Articles written by the more mysterious members of the JOE editorial team

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  • Siri saves American teen from being crushed to death

    Siri saves American teen from being crushed to death

    Alone, trapped beneath a truck and unable to reach his iPhone, this lad feared for the worst. Teeneager Sam Ray from Tennessee in America, was working on a two tonne truck when he became pinned down by the vehicle. Facing up to the very real possibility that he would be crushed, quick thinking Sam knew […]

    11 years ago

  • ‘Minion Fart Blaster’ triggers airport security confiscation

    ‘Minion Fart Blaster’ triggers airport security confiscation

    Minions causing all sorts of trouble again. Airport security is a very serious business and for a very good reason, yet there was an incident in Dublin Airport that managed to raise a few eyebrows. A toddler attempting to board a plane with something called a Minion Fart Blaster – it does pretty much exactly […]

    11 years ago

  • Floyd Mayweather attempts to calm war of words with Ronda Rousey

    Floyd Mayweather attempts to calm war of words with Ronda Rousey

    Is Floyd Mayweather actually taking the high road? It would seem that the multi-division champion has had enough of the back-and-forth with Ronda Rousey and wants to let bygones be bygones. The pair of fighters have exchanged barbs over the last few weeks with Rousey quipping “I wonder how Floyd feels being beaten by a woman for […]

    11 years ago

  • The brilliant moment a Dutch shop *congratulate* their ‘10,000th shoplifter’ (video)

    The brilliant moment a Dutch shop *congratulate* their ‘10,000th shoplifter’ (video)

    Shoplifting might normally result in a fine, maybe arrest… but not for this woman. A video posted from Holland shows the moment a store’s staff congratulate their 10,000th (alleged) shoplifter after she appeared to be ‘caught in the act.’ Excitable staff surround her within seconds of her supposed light-fingered ways being spotted on CCTV, presenting her with […]

    11 years ago

  • Didi Hamann isn’t convinced by Manchester United goalkeeper

    Didi Hamann isn’t convinced by Manchester United goalkeeper

    With a couple of clean sheets in both of his outings for Manchester United, Sergio Romero has made a perfect start to his Old Trafford career. With David De Gea’s transfer situation yet to be resolved, the Argentine looks set to continue as United’s number one until the end of the transfer window at least. […]

    11 years ago

  • Sky Sports gaffe mistakes one Premier League legend for another

    Sky Sports gaffe mistakes one Premier League legend for another

    It’s not just Premier League officials that suffer from the odd case of footballing mistaken identity. From Kieran Gibbs being mistaken for Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain by a ref, to this gaffe by Sky Sports which confuses former Manchester United striker Andy Cole for Arsenal legend, Ian Wright – definitely two different people. Spotted on SkyGo scheduling by […]

    11 years ago

  • Video shows new European kits with old sponsors

    Video shows new European kits with old sponsors

    Some of these look class… In a video from Talksport, the old sponsors of several major European clubs have been added to their current shirts. Seeing McEwan’s Lager on the front of a Glasgow Rangers shirt evokes memories of Gazza in his Ibrox days, while a Juve shirt with Sony on it casts our minds back to […]

    11 years ago

  • Jimmy Bullard shows Carl Froch what a *real* man’s body looks like

    Jimmy Bullard shows Carl Froch what a *real* man’s body looks like

    Be it in his playing career or in his many TV appearances since, Jimmy Bullard is always worth a watch when he’s on your screen – even if he does divide opinion. He might be the television equivalent of Marmite, but he was definitely good value on Soccer AM. https://twitter.com/MarkWright88/status/632509102447587329 https://twitter.com/HughieGreen/status/632516250569195520 Generally though, his latest appearance […]

    11 years ago

  • India Test match halted by this unusual pitch invader (video)

    India Test match halted by this unusual pitch invader (video)

    Fortunately, from the perspectives of cricket-loving Englishmen, the chances of seeing a Test match interrupted by a pitch invader like this are very slim. During the first test match between India and Sri Lanka, play had to be halted temporarily as a *monkey* decided he fancied joining the fun. The extra body in the field was […]

    11 years ago

  • Lay down your tifos everyone because Spartak Moscow fans have claimed top prize

    Lay down your tifos everyone because Spartak Moscow fans have claimed top prize

    Borussia Dortmund fans have long been known for the stunning displays from their supporters before kick-off at Westfalenstadion, but they might have some competition. The Moscow derby may not hold the same mass appeal as a trip to Westphalia, but we already knew Spartak fans were a bit unpredictable after one of their number fell from […]

    11 years ago

  • Athletic Club’s San Jose scores from the half-way line against Barcelona (Video)

    Athletic Club’s San Jose scores from the half-way line against Barcelona (Video)

    Athletic club scored a stunning opening goal from the half-way line as Barcelona’s keeper went walkies. Ter Stegen made a hash of doing a ‘Neuer’ during the Spanish Super Cup clash, when he came out to head the ball away. The clearance went straight to Mikel San Jose, who took no time to control and […]

    11 years ago

  • Gremio bring jogo bonito back with this slick counter-attack (Video)

    Gremio bring jogo bonito back with this slick counter-attack (Video)

    Brendan Rodgers, is that something in your front pocket or have you just watched Gremio’s latest win? We’ve racked our brains but can’t seem to remember a more aesthetically pleasing counter-attack than the one that opened the scoring in Gremio’s 2-0 victory over Atletico Mineiro on Thursday. With the ball virtually on their own byline, […]

    11 years ago

  • Henrik Larsson reveals why he turned down the chance to be the Celtic manager

    Henrik Larsson reveals why he turned down the chance to be the Celtic manager

    If Henrik Larsson ever wanted the Celtic manager’s job then he could surely walk into Parkhead and take it. Larsson and his son Jordan seem to be doing OK at Helsingborgs at the moment, but it’s pretty clear that any Celtic fan would love have to the striker back at the club some day in the future. Well it seems that […]

    11 years ago

  • Fenerbahce do the right thing for heartbroken young Man United fan after RVP move

    Fenerbahce do the right thing for heartbroken young Man United fan after RVP move

    One young Robin van Persie superfan was left grief-stricken when it was announced that his hero was set to leave Manchester United for Fenerbahce. Louis Diamond took ‘inconsolable’ to a new level after learning of the Dutch striker’s exit. The viral video of the Louis reached Istanbul where Fenerbahce president Aziz Yildirim caught wind of it and decided to […]

    11 years ago

  • Nerf guns grow up with these motorised badboys (Video)

    Nerf guns grow up with these motorised badboys (Video)

    It looks like the new generation of Nerf guns are bigger and badder than ever. The new Nerf Rival range is all about speed, power and accuracy – and frankly they’re wasted on kids. Apparently engineers have been working on the new range for the last four and half years, with a remit to make the […]

    11 years ago

  • Darth Who: Is the fourth Doctor joining the cast of Star Wars?

    Darth Who: Is the fourth Doctor joining the cast of Star Wars?

    Could the Tardis really travel through space, time and fictional universes and end up in Star Wars? Maybe not but a former Doctor may be making a surprise appearance. Tom Baker, one of the most popular Time Lords ever, could be joining the cast of the Jedi reboot. And it’s not mere rumour either. The 81-year-old […]

    11 years ago

  • Samsung unveil their latest smartphones with some very cool new features

    Samsung unveil their latest smartphones with some very cool new features

    Samsung unveiled the Galaxy 6 Edge+ and Samsung Note 5 on Thursday and the internet is buzzing with reviews and opinions on the new smartphones. The Galaxy 6 Edge+ is an update on the Galaxy 6 and is thinner, faster and flashier than its predecessor boasting a width of just 7mm. The phone runs on Android Lollipop 5.1 and has a […]

    11 years ago

  • Wayne Rooney enjoys a lie-in at home with his sons ahead of Aston Villa match

    Wayne Rooney enjoys a lie-in at home with his sons ahead of Aston Villa match

    Here’s a rare, tender snapshot into Wayne Rooney’s home life. The Manchester United star is enjoying a lie-in with his two sons Kai, five, and Klay, two, before heading to Aston Villa for his first away game of the season. Coleen Rooney posted the photo on Facebook saying: ‘Couldn’t get these 3 out of bed!’ […]

    11 years ago

  • Jose Mourinho says Eva Carneiro may return to Chelsea bench…

    Jose Mourinho says Eva Carneiro may return to Chelsea bench…

    Jose Mourinho says Chelsea doctor Eva Carneiro may return to the Blues’ bench later in the season despite being told not to attend Sunday’s match with Manchester City. Mourinho has addressed the situation surrounding Carneiro and physio Jon Fearn for the first time since the duo were reportedly told they can no longer attend matches or training […]

    11 years ago

  • Liverpool lead the way in European spending league table…

    Liverpool lead the way in European spending league table…

    If Liverpool fall short of their targets this season, John Henry can’t be accused of failing to back his manager in the transfer window. Following a huge outlay on seven new players – including £32m striker Christian Benteke – the Reds have now spent more than any other club in Europe, according to Spanish paper […]

    11 years ago

  • Was this story the beginning of the end for Mario Balotelli at Liverpool?

    Was this story the beginning of the end for Mario Balotelli at Liverpool?

    With stories circulating that Mario Balotelli is set to stay on at Liverpool, this comical tale might explain why Brendan Rodgers is still keen to get rid. The Independent have reported on a stunning goal the Italian scored during a training session. Around the half-way line, the striker turned and fired a shot past a hapless Brad […]

    11 years ago

  • Louis van Gaal says David De Gea has refused to play for Man United…

    Louis van Gaal says David De Gea has refused to play for Man United…

    David de Gea won’t face Aston Villa on Friday evening after telling Manchester United’s goalkeeping coach, Frank Hoek, that he doesn’t want to play. The revelation was made by Louis van Gaal, who is surely growing increasingly frustrated at the Spaniard’s situation. “He [Hoek] had a meeting with David de Gea and he asked him: […]

    11 years ago

  • Former Chelsea doctor criticises Eva Carneiro for taking to social media…

    Former Chelsea doctor criticises Eva Carneiro for taking to social media…

    Former Chelsea first-team doctor Ralph Rogers has slated Eva Carneiro for posting a Facebook message thanking fans for their support. Carneiro wrote the post following Jose Mourinho’s criticism of her conduct during the 2-2 draw with Swansea… But speaking on BBC Radio 5 live, Rogers said: “You are support staff. You’re not one of the stars. […]

    11 years ago

  • Do you want to work for Jeremy Clarkson on his new show?

    Do you want to work for Jeremy Clarkson on his new show?

    In case you’ve been living under a rock, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May have signed a deal with Amazon to produce a new show to rival Top Gear. They’ve been handed a huuuge budget to produce the programme, and are now looking for the right team. We’re struggling to think of a cooler […]

    11 years ago

  • Secret iPhone hack lets you see how strong your signal really is…

    Secret iPhone hack lets you see how strong your signal really is…

    Have you ever been incredibly frustrated at having poor reception when the signal bars on your screen suggest you have full coverage? Maybe you convince yourself that it’s the person on the other end of the call with the issue, or that there are gremlins in the system. Well, you don’t have to live in fear […]

    11 years ago

  • Ever wondered what ITV’s Gladiators look like now?

    Ever wondered what ITV’s Gladiators look like now?

    “You will go on my first whistle.” There’s good news for fans of the cult ITV show Gladiators – because it’s coming back for a one-off documentary. Ulrika Jonsson has assembled her old crew and referee John Anderson ahead of the ITV special, which will look back at the show’s best memories. And we’re sure you’re dying to know what […]

    11 years ago

  • This ‘self-healing’ iPhone case is available soon (video)

    This ‘self-healing’ iPhone case is available soon (video)

    We can all relate to that sense of disappointment when a new phone picks up a scratch – ruining its pristine, straight-from-the-box condition. Thanks to a company called Innerexile, however, this may become a thing of the past. Their new casing includes instant self-repair technology – and you can watch the process in this video. With the stroke […]

    11 years ago

  • Introducing the first ever black James Bond…and it’s not Idris Elba

    Introducing the first ever black James Bond…and it’s not Idris Elba

    A black actor will finally play 007…sort of. It has been announced that David Oyelowo, who earned raved reviews for his depiction of Martin Luther King in recent biopic Selma, will play James Bond in the newaudio book of the latest Bond novel by Anthony Horowitz. It’s not quite the ground-breaking moment in cinematic equality we were hoping […]

    11 years ago

  • Ronda Rousey elbows her way into Forbes’ top 10 highest paid female sports stars

    Ronda Rousey elbows her way into Forbes’ top 10 highest paid female sports stars

    UFC star Ronda Rousey is a new addition to the world’s top 10 highest-paid female sports stars as her wealth and popularity both continue to skyrocket. The 28-year-old has appeared in three big budget movies over the past 12 months as well as pulverising the rest of the bantamweight division in UFC. There are also plenty of […]

    11 years ago

  • Dramatic armed siege ends with assault…and vinegar

    Dramatic armed siege ends with assault…and vinegar

    A full-scale siege in Sheffield came to an end on Wednesday when the suspect gave himself up to police – eating a packet of crisps. Armed officers with semi-automatic rifles were baffled to see the 26-year-old man – unarmed apart from a packet of Quavers – scampering out from his hideout wearing a pair of sunglasses and a cheeky […]

    11 years ago

  • Could Ronda Rousey be about to join the Marvel Universe?

    Could Ronda Rousey be about to join the Marvel Universe?

    She’s definitely a superhero in our eyes, but Ronda Rousey has her steely gaze on a fresh challenge beyond the Octagon – saving the world. That’s right – the remarkable Rousey, who is no stranger to Hollywood with acting with roles in Entourage and The Expendables, quite fancies entering the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Ms Marvel. […]

    11 years ago

  • Dr Dre: “I made some f***ing horrible mistakes in my life”

    Dr Dre: “I made some f***ing horrible mistakes in my life”

    Dr Dre has opened up about his history of violence. The rapper responded to questions about an incident in 1991 where he assaulted journalist Denise ‘Dee’ Barnes and recent claims of repeated abuse in the nineties from his one-time girlfriend Michel’le. He opened up about his past to Rolling Stone magazine, of which he’ll appear on the […]

    11 years ago

  • Strange camera angle makes Portsmouth v Derby unwatchable for many

    Strange camera angle makes Portsmouth v Derby unwatchable for many

    You take it for granted how important camera angles are in televised football games. We never would have guessed how jarring it would be to have the main camera closer to the pitch, but everyone was kicking off about the strange TV view of Portsmouth v Derby on Wednesday night. APOLOGY: We'd like to apologise for our main […]

    11 years ago

  • Spain’s new away jersey is as sexy as it is unusual

    Spain’s new away jersey is as sexy as it is unusual

    Spain seldom let us down in the jersey world and leaked photos of their new away jersey keep that reputation intact. Come November, Diego Costa and co will be decked out in this away shirt – and they’ll certainly cut an unusual dash on the football pitch. We love a brave kit design, and the strange red […]

    11 years ago

  • Would you wear a football kit designed on ham? Yes, ham…

    Would you wear a football kit designed on ham? Yes, ham…

    We thought we had already found the crappest kit for the 2015/16 season, but Spanish manufacturer Daen are back with an even worse attempt. Sticking with the theme of including local traditions in their designs, Daen have covered CD Guijuelo’s away kit in ‘jamón’ (ham) – because it is apparently popular in the region. We […]

    11 years ago