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04th Feb 2019

The White House says Donald Trump’s tan is the result of “good genes”

Wayne Farry

donald trump

Donald Trump is an odd guy

While the eternally unfunny Saturday Night Live likes to mock the US President for things such as typing words like “covfefe” and “hamberders” on his Twitter account, Trump’s worst quality appears to be his general sense of strangeness.

Whether it’s the way he denies comments he has publicly made in the past, the manner in which he seems to make people deeply uncomfortable or his delicately scaffolded hair, there is just a lot going on with him.

The most obvious and possibly strangest thing about his appearance is that tan. Now, there is nothing wrong with a man who has a tan, absolutely nothing at all. Many men use fake tan and they look good.

Looking good is the key though. The tan needs to be applied correctly, so that the tan is even and so that you are not left with pale gaps where your eyes and ears are. Like so.

That is the issue with Trump’s tan, really. Not purely that it looks bad, but what it looking bad represents. It represents and encapsulates the president’s lack of self awareness in a greater way than perhaps anything else.

One would naturally conclude that the tan is the result of an intern in a rush and a handful of cotton buds, but according to a report in the New York Times, the official White House line is that no, the tan is in fact the result of “good genes” possessed by Trump.

We would call bullshit on this, but it’s the official line. So it simply must be true.