JOE

Author description

Articles written by the more mysterious members of the JOE editorial team

Search
  • Zlatan’s one-word descriptions of Messi & Ronaldo sum his persona up perfectly (Video)

    Zlatan’s one-word descriptions of Messi & Ronaldo sum his persona up perfectly (Video)

    During a recent interview with Sports Illustrated, Mr humble himself, Zlatan Ibrahimovic was asked to play a little word association game. When asked to describe Lionel Messi with just one word, Zlatan replied “fantastic”. This was followed by Cristiano Ronaldo, whom he was little less full of praise for. Finally, the interviewer asked him to […]

    11 years ago

  • Start Me Up with an “early morning joint”, says Keith Richards

    Start Me Up with an “early morning joint”, says Keith Richards

    He defines the term ‘rock star’ so of course Keith Richards starts his day with “an early morning joint”. The Rolling Stones guitarist has confessed he still regularly smokes cannabis and is pleased more US states are legalising the drug. He revealed: “I smoke regularly, an early morning joint. Strictly Californian. One of the most pleasant […]

    11 years ago

  • Last minute thunderbas**rd winners don’t come much better than this (Video)

    Last minute thunderbas**rd winners don’t come much better than this (Video)

    Youri Tielemans has a name that you wouldn’t forget in a hurry. And you’re twice as likely to remember it after he scored a last minute winner for his club on the opening day of the new Belgian season. The Anderlecht player, who’s been linked with a move to England, decided a draw wasn’t good […]

    11 years ago

  • Patrick Stewart fuels X-Men rumours with set visit

    Patrick Stewart fuels X-Men rumours with set visit

    While he’s not busy trying to get into Taylor Swift’s squad, Sir Patrick Stewart has been known to do a bit of acting. The star of the X-Men series paid a visit to the set of upcoming release X-Men: Apocalypse, and naturally that has led some to speculate that he might reprise his role as Professor […]

    11 years ago

  • Epic backflip catch takes skill and agility to a new level (Video)

    Epic backflip catch takes skill and agility to a new level (Video)

    This might be the best catch we’ve ever seen. You’re not 100% sure what’s about to happen when Steve Levine coasts out over a body of water on a swing, but then his buddy Tanner Harmon releases an American football and the magic happens. We’d struggle with the backflip on its own, and to be perfectly […]

    11 years ago

  • Man gets Twitter trolled by the club who sacked him on Football Manager

    Man gets Twitter trolled by the club who sacked him on Football Manager

    It’s happened to us all. Who hasn’t had a terrible season with a team on Football Manager, and got the awful meeting to say that the club aren’t happy with results and it’s a case of not us, but you. So you must have some sympathy for poor Andy Murray who we’re sure put loads […]

    11 years ago

  • Creepy clowns are coming out to play when the sun goes down (Video)

    Creepy clowns are coming out to play when the sun goes down (Video)

    There is a very sinister craze spreading across the US – creepy clowns wandering the streets and breaking into cemeteries. The latest sighting of the circus-themed miscreants occurred in Chicago, where Julia Graham and her husband spotted a fancy-dressed weirdo running towards a local graveyard before scaling its 7ft-tall gate. The ghoulish jester then turned to wave slowly at […]

    11 years ago

  • Four minutes of the best mountain biking you’ll see – all in one perfect take

    Four minutes of the best mountain biking you’ll see – all in one perfect take

    If this doesn’t make you want to drag your mountain bike out of the shed, nothing will. To help promote their new mountain biking film unReal, producers Anthill Films and Teton Gravity Research have released a stunning video featuring world-class mountain biker Brandon Semenuks. What makes the footage so enthralling is the fact that it was […]

    11 years ago

  • Angel Di Maria to PSG: L’Equipe report a £46m fee has been agreed

    Angel Di Maria to PSG: L’Equipe report a £46m fee has been agreed

    French newspaper L’Equipe claim that a deal has been agreed between Manchester United and Paris Saint-Germain for the transfer of Angel Di Maria. According to the report on Saturday afternoon, United and PSG have negotiated a transfer fee of ‘just over €65m’ – which amounts to around £46m. The figure seems unusually low, considering the Argentine was […]

    11 years ago

  • Ronaldo’s tippy-toe trick is the height of vanity

    Ronaldo’s tippy-toe trick is the height of vanity

    You would have thought the current Ballon d’Or holder and one of the most recognisable faces on the planet wouldn’t need any more attention. You’d be wrong. As Real Madrid lined up to face Manchester City in Melbourne on Friday, one player towered over the rest of his teammates – both in terms of stature and […]

    11 years ago

  • England and Scotland drawn together in same World Cup qualifying group

    England and Scotland drawn together in same World Cup qualifying group

    England and Scotland have been paired together in the same group as they vie to qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia. They are joined by Slovakia, Slovenia, Lithuania and Malta in the relatively easy (on paper) Group F. Wales also have familiar opponents in the shape of the Republic of Ireland, as well as Austria, Serbia, Moldova and Georgia […]

    11 years ago

  • Aaron Ramsey admits he is flattered by Barcelona interest

    Aaron Ramsey admits he is flattered by Barcelona interest

    Amid reports that Barcelona have identified Aaron Ramsey as a transfer target, the player has admitted that he’s flattered with the links. There are growing rumours that the Catalan club are ready to ‘swoop’, ‘pounce’ and do other animalistic things to the Arsenal man as soon as their transfer ban comes to an end in January […]

    11 years ago

  • Stunning video of two brothers saving a shark’s life

    Stunning video of two brothers saving a shark’s life

    Two brothers bravely risked their own safety in order to save a shark’s life. Just days after a Fox News (w)anchor suggested that the ocean should be cleared of all sharks so they’re no longer a threat to humans, these two heroes went to dangerous lengths to rescue one. The hammerhead shark was in clear distress on the Destin, […]

    11 years ago

  • The Godfather is going nowhere, says Al Pacino

    The Godfather is going nowhere, says Al Pacino

    Good news for Al Pacino fans – he has no desire to retire from the film industry. The Godfather might be 75 but he has no plans to quit and take things slow. Pacino, who stars in new movie Manglehorn, said: “I have no desire to quit. Sorry. Why? Why didn’t I quit 20 years […]

    11 years ago

  • Video: Is this why Hulk Hogan has been kicked out of WWE?

    Video: Is this why Hulk Hogan has been kicked out of WWE?

    It looks like wrestling hero Hulk Hogan has parted ways with WWE after he was alleged to made racist comments in a recent interview. The offending remarks can be heard in the video below, as Hogan relays a story about a meeting he had with fellow wrestler Booker T… Since the interview, the WWE website has started to remove all references to the Hall of Famer, but […]

    11 years ago

  • Manchester United set to sign ‘new Fabien Barthez’

    Manchester United set to sign ‘new Fabien Barthez’

    Manchester United have agreed a deal to sign Argentine keeper Sergio Romero, according to reports in Argentina. Old Trafford chiefs are thought to have agreed a deal with the free agent, who has been without a club since he was released by Serie A side Sampdoria. https://twitter.com/eaamalyon/status/624547259108184064 The good news is that the 28-year-old is his […]

    11 years ago

  • Watch this idiot fan run on stage to sniff Colin Farrell during Jimmy Kimmel Live

    Watch this idiot fan run on stage to sniff Colin Farrell during Jimmy Kimmel Live

    You don’t want to mess with Colin Farrell. No sir. The In Bruges actor has rightfully been earning some massive praise for his current role in True Detective, playing the violent and unhinged Detective Ray Velcoro. And Farrell may have been tempted to embrace his inner Ray when this crazed fan rushed on stage to smell […]

    11 years ago

  • Watch the most hilarious TV-bomb you will ever see…

    Watch the most hilarious TV-bomb you will ever see…

    As the Sky Sports chap who had a purple dildo poked in his ear will tell you, any TV reporter constantly runs the risk of being publicly embarrassed. While most of these journalists are consummate professionals just trying to do their job, there’s something about a camera crew that causes people to go bat-sh*t crazy. The level […]

    11 years ago

  • American fans go crazy after watching Pirlo in training…

    American fans go crazy after watching Pirlo in training…

    It looks like America could be in for a shock after the arrival of some seriously world-class footballing talent over the past few months. With Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Kaka, David Villa and now Andrea Pirlo all moving to MLS, the league’s quality has really gone up a notch. In fact, it might look like […]

    11 years ago

  • First look at the second series of Batman spin-off Gotham (Video)

    First look at the second series of Batman spin-off Gotham (Video)

    Gotham, the slick TV spin-off of the Batman franchise, is back for a second season. The award-winning drama returns with a number of big names in the cast, including The Shield star Michael Chiklis and Homeland’s Morena Baccarin. Not much is given away in the trailer, which is soundtracked by a slick pared-down cover of […]

    11 years ago

  • British radio station offers Sepp Blatter journalism internship

    British radio station offers Sepp Blatter journalism internship

    Sepp Blatter announced that he plans to finally step down as Dark Lord of the Sith Fifa President, but the 79 year old has no plans to settle into comfortable retirement. Blatter hopes to become a radio journalist, saying: “I think radio is the most popular form of information.” (Just wait until he discovers the internet). The Swiss […]

    11 years ago

  • Japan win the World Cup – for robots (Video)

    Japan win the World Cup – for robots (Video)

    Japan have won the RoboCup, the world’s annual robotic soccer championship. Over 40 countries competed for the coveted title, but it was a group from the University of Chiba in Japan who emerged victorious. They beat the hosts China in the final. We just hope the robot who got the winning goal did a Peter Crouch celebration. […]

    11 years ago

  • Liverpool fan brilliantly predicts summer signings…

    Liverpool fan brilliantly predicts summer signings…

    Most football fans spend the entire summer dreaming about the star names their club might sign, but some are a little more realistic. Step forward Liverpool supporter Adeel Armhead, who nailed his prediction for the Reds’ transfer business all the way back on May 27. While Armhead shared his peers’ hopes that the likes of Pierre-Emerick […]

    11 years ago

  • David Beckham surprises family with $100,000 gift (Video)

    David Beckham surprises family with $100,000 gift (Video)

    For some people, just meeting David Beckham would be enough, but he went one step beyond for one family. The former England midfielder is a celebrity in his own right out in the USA, and the Gonzalez family were delighted to see him show up at their front door. He was there as part of […]

    11 years ago

  • Gym-goers more likely to be hiding an STI

    Gym-goers more likely to be hiding an STI

    If you’re a 24-year-old bloke with brown hair who spends a lot of time at the gym, we’ve got some bad news for you. According to a survey of the British public, you’re the demographic most likely to have a sexually transmitted infection. Over half of British males between 18 and 30 have contracted an […]

    11 years ago

  • Spanish town grants citizenship to reigning cats and dogs

    Spanish town grants citizenship to reigning cats and dogs

    What do we want? Woof! When do we want it? Miaow! A dog’s life isn’t so bad in an animal-loving corner of Iberia. Trigueros del Valle – a small town of a human population of just 330 – is the first town in Spain to recognise cats and dogs as citizens. A unanimous vote was gathered from […]

    11 years ago

  • 50 Cent isn’t letting bankruptcy affect his “40 birthday events”

    50 Cent isn’t letting bankruptcy affect his “40 birthday events”

    50 Cent has been grabbing headlines a lot lately. The rapper, who has filed for bankruptcy as he potentially faces being ordered to pay a sickening sum of money in a lawsuit over a sex tape, testified in court that his lavish displays of wealth are all a show. Basically he reckons all of his bling […]

    11 years ago

  • Women rank the eight most important things that make up a beautiful penis

    Women rank the eight most important things that make up a beautiful penis

    Does size matter? Not really as it turns out. It’s not something you necessarily want to bring up at the dinner table with your parents, but the subject of the male penis will always raise interest, amongst men and women alike. So much interest in fact, that the University of Zurich went to the bother […]

    11 years ago

  • Women give their verdict on Andrea Pirlo – with and without his famous beard

    Women give their verdict on Andrea Pirlo – with and without his famous beard

    What a difference a shave makes. There’s no more recognisable beard in world football than that which warms the beautiful cheeks of Andrea Pirlo. It’s difficult to remember a time when the New York City FC midfielder was clean shaven but it did exist, and what a terrible time that was to be alive. The curious […]

    11 years ago

  • Liverpool complete Christian Benteke signing

    Liverpool complete Christian Benteke signing

    Liverpool have finally announced the signing of Aston Villa’s Christian Benteke. The 24-year-old is the Anfield club’s seventh signing of the summer, and joins other high-profile recruits James Milner, Roberto Firmino and Danny Ings. #LFC are delighted to confirm the signing of Belgian striker @bentekechris20 from @AVFCOfficial #BentekeLFC pic.twitter.com/QODMLLUGhn — Liverpool FC (@LFC) July 22, […]

    11 years ago

  • The Apple Car could be just around the corner

    The Apple Car could be just around the corner

    They’ve revolutionised your laptop, phone, watch and music collection, but Apple have eyes on another part of your life – the garage. That’s right, the Apple Car has moved a step closer with the news that the Senior Vice President of Chrysler Group, Doug Betts has joined the technology company. Previously responsible for product service and quality at Chrysler, Betts will join […]

    11 years ago

  • One bacon lover’s distressing tale – and Tesco’s hilarious response

    One bacon lover’s distressing tale – and Tesco’s hilarious response

    As we all know, Bacon is no laughing matter. It’s a national obsession, nay addiction. Ben Roberts, a bacon lover of some 24 years, was craving the good stuff one Sunday morning when he discovered that his fridge was sans swine. Ben didn’t panic. He popped out to his local Tesco in Derby to top up […]

    11 years ago

  • James Milner: Even Lionel Messi couldn’t replace Steven Gerrard

    James Milner: Even Lionel Messi couldn’t replace Steven Gerrard

    We reckon James Milner might just rate Steven Gerrard. Liverpool’s brand spanking new signing has spoken about the void left by the former Reds captain and doesn’t think there’s a player on earth who could fill his boots – not even a little fella by the name of Lionel Messi. Speaking to abc during Liverpool’s pre-season tour of Australia, Milner revealed just how highly […]

    11 years ago

  • “Arsenal should finish in the top two next season,” Lethal Bizzle tells JOE

    “Arsenal should finish in the top two next season,” Lethal Bizzle tells JOE

    You may know Lethal Bizzle for a few reasons… First, he’s a grime artist from London’s Walthamstow, who loves Arsenal and Lamborghinis. Then there’s his successful clothing line Dench, derived from playing a video game with his cousin, former Gunners midfielder Emmanuel Frimpong. He coined the word ‘dench’, which was recently added to the dictionary […]

    11 years ago

  • Meet Medusa, the two-headed albino snake (Warning: Not for the squeamish)

    Meet Medusa, the two-headed albino snake (Warning: Not for the squeamish)

    If you’re scared of snakes, for the love of God, look away now. Let us introduce you to Medusa, a two-headed albino Honduran milksnake. That’s right – twice the forked tongues, twice the fangs and double the nightmares. The two-headed reptile was born in captivity and currently resides at Ben Siegel Reptiles in Florida (so far enough […]

    11 years ago

  • Woman gets surprise response after asking for drugs on Twitter

    Woman gets surprise response after asking for drugs on Twitter

    Either police are getting lazier or criminals are getting stupider. Maybe both. When a woman in Florida tweeted asking for someone to bring her marijuana, her local sheriff responded with the least subtle sting operation ever. Where should we meet you? https://t.co/5YjcB0kLET — PBSO (@PBCountySheriff) July 21, 2015 It was an impressively nonchalant approach from […]

    11 years ago

  • Awesome slow-mo video shows giant water balloon burst with man sat inside

    Awesome slow-mo video shows giant water balloon burst with man sat inside

    The Slow-Mo Guys are at it again, with one of their weirdest videos yet. The scene is set with one of the YouTube duo sitting inside a giant six-foot water balloon as it fills to bursting, while his partner stands nearby laughing. The volunteer, Dan, is turned into what fellow Slow-Mo guy Gav describes at various stages […]

    11 years ago

  • Kendrick Lamar, Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran lead the charge with VMA nods

    Kendrick Lamar, Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran lead the charge with VMA nods

    The MTV Video Music Awards is always worth bookmarking a night in front of the telly for. Remember when Miley Cyrus had more than a little fun with a foam finger at the 2013 bash? After keeping a low profile last year, she’s back with a Bang Bang and has been booked to host the […]

    11 years ago