
Rafa Benitez told he’s too fat to manage Sampdoria
It’s time to get in shape, Rafa…
12 years ago
JOE
Articles written by the more mysterious members of the JOE editorial team

Rafa Benitez told he’s too fat to manage Sampdoria
It’s time to get in shape, Rafa…
12 years ago

Louis Theroux to be the subject of new documentary made by Scientologists
Yes, you read that right. Louis Theroux is set to have the camera turned on him by the Church of Scientology. Theroux’s documentaries always make for fascinating viewing, but it’s fair to say he’s ruffled a few feathers down the years. One particular group he hasn’t seen eye to eye with is Scientologists, who are now […]
12 years ago

Footballers celebrate St. George’s Day on Twitter
St. George’s Day may not be as big as St. Patrick’s Day, St. Andrew’s Day or St. David’s Day, but there will still be plenty of Englishmen having a beer – or doing any of these things – to celebrate on Thursday evening. And judging by these tweets, a few well known footballers will be […]
12 years ago

Video: Robert Downey Jr walks out of this seriously awkward Channel 4 interview
And another one bites the dust under Krishnan Guru-Murthy’s questioning…
12 years ago

Pic: Jack Grealish the latest star to join the hippy crack ‘hall of shame’
Hippy craic…
12 years ago

Happy birthday, Marshawn Lynch! JOE picks 10 of his best quotes…
Who doesn’t like Skittles?
12 years ago

Dog crashes owner’s tractor into motorway central reservation
Ever thought it would be a fun experiment to let your dog drive the car? Come on, we’re in a circle of trust here. You can tell JOE… WHAT? You actually thought that would be a smart idea!? NO! No no no. Think of the consequences. In fact, you don’t even need to use your […]
12 years ago

Barcelona’s 2-0 victory against PSG in pictures…
After flying 1000km from Paris to Barcelona, Laurent Blanc suddenly realises he’s left the oven on. For f**k’s sake, he didn’t even want to come to this stupid second leg; everyone knows it’ll be a routine 2-0 win for Barca… “AAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!” “Keep them closed, keep them closed, keep them closed. Oh balls, there goes Neymar. 1-0. […]
12 years ago

Vine: Pep Guardiola rips his trousers celebrating Bayern’s 6-1 victory
It’s fair to say Pep Guardiola got a little excited on Tuesday evening. And who would blame him after his team overcame a 3-1 first leg defeat against Porto to reach the Champions League semi-finals? The German champions hammered their opponents 6-1 in Munich much to Guardiola’s delight, with Porto’s advantage overturned in the first […]
12 years ago

Jordan Henderson to pen new five-year £100,000-a-week contract
*fist pump*
12 years ago

Twitter’s new direct message feature caused a few users to panic
The idea isn’t to try and make people cry…
12 years ago

Evra: Fergie told me I’d make a great coach…
Patrice Evra has revealed his ambition to move into management after being tipped for the top by Sir Alex Ferguson. The French full-back spent eight years under Ferguson’s tutelage at Manchester United, winning five Premier League titles, before joining Juventus last summer. And he has now shed light on a conversation the pair had before the manager’s […]
12 years ago

Kim Jong-un’s climb up North Korea’s highest mountain met with scepticism
It’s tough being the son of a famous father. According to Kim Jong-il’s biography, the former Supreme Leader of North Korea wrote over 1,500 books in three years in university, scripted six operas that were better than any in the history of music and, in his first ever game of golf, recorded 11 holes-in-one on his way […]
12 years ago

Vines: All the bone-crunching finishes from UFC New Jersey
Whammy!
12 years ago

Japanese train smashes world speed record
Record on the line…
12 years ago

Pirate Bay founder denied Nintendo in prison
Ninten-d’oh!
12 years ago

When fanboys attack: Android vs iPhone row gets stabby
Phoney war…
12 years ago

Danny Welbeck: Trust me, the goals will come…
He’s Gunner score…
12 years ago

Matthew McConaughey reacting to the Star Wars teaser is hilarious
Stellar work…
12 years ago

New Pirlo x Avengers mashup that’s out of this world
Defensive shield…
12 years ago

James Corden teams up with Michael Douglas for Basic Instinct parody
Flash Corden…
12 years ago

Britney Spears calls fan a ‘f**king a**hole’
Wash that mouth out…
12 years ago

There’s a shark in the back garden. No, really…
Lawn Shark
12 years ago

Uber delivers Iron Throne to lucky New Yorkers
Just something we’ve throne together…
12 years ago

West Ham surprise season ticket holder with visit from star midfielder
Just delivering a Cheikh…
12 years ago

Matthew McConaughey to headline Cannes Film Festival line-up
McConaughey is finally shining as brightly as his suits…
12 years ago

Lionel Messi looks to emulate hero Jack Wilshere with new tattoo
“I’ll show you later, Jack”
12 years ago

Is this the most indulgent beer in the world?
You can’t spell ‘Ben and Jerry’s’ without ‘beer’…
12 years ago

Video: Drone crash video brings us down to earth
Sorry to drone on…
12 years ago

Japanese gameshow combines karaoke with hand jobs…no, really
Let’s give them all a big hand…
12 years ago

Video: Australian commuter defends Muslim woman against Islamophobic train rant
Not allowed to suffer in silence…
12 years ago

Whole town in shock after alligator eats beloved dog
The citizens of Mobile were left stunned
12 years ago

Spurs to face MLS All-Star XI – but can Gerrard and Lampard play together?
Maybe playing behind Bradley Wright-Phillips will bring the best out of them…
12 years ago

JOE’s 5-Word Transfers: Falcao, Balotelli, Valencia, Milner, Fuchs
Falcao to take Balotelli’s place? The Daily Star report that Radamel Falcao’s imminent Manchester United exit will not spell the end of his time in England, with Liverpool lining up a shock move for the Colombian. We’re not sure what Brendan Rodgers has seen in Falcao that we haven’t, but he may be ready to cut […]
12 years ago

Video: Paul Walker fools Tyrese Gibson with brilliant Vin Diesel impersonation
Paul Walker was a braver man than we are… It takes balls to impersonate Vin Diesel considering the ass-kicking the Hollywood muscle-head could hand out, but that’s exactly what Walker does in this video…fooling Fast & Furious co-star Tyrese Gibson. Walker, who died in a car accident in November 2013, was never seen as the […]
12 years ago

Video: Russian football fan falls from stadium roof after terrifying stunt
The things people will do just to watch Dmitri Kombarov…
12 years ago

Marvel unveils epic new Avengers: Age of Ultron images
Striking while the Iron’s hot…
12 years ago

Pope’s iPad sells at auction – for just $30,500
“Going once…going twice…sold!”
12 years ago

British band The Rifles retract ‘support’ for UKIP
“You know, I’d never actually listened to them before.”
12 years ago

Video: Robbie Keane sings along to Karma Chameleon
“Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, chameleon…”
12 years ago

Where will Jurgen Klopp go next? Five potential destinations for the Dortmund boss
“It’s not your fault Adrian, I just think we should see different football clubs”
12 years ago

How not to live blog a German press conference…
We’ve all been there… Standing in line at the bäckerei or boulangerie hopelessly praying that our GCSE language skills save us from embarrassment. But most of us have never ended up running a live blog in which we were supposed to translate a German press conference. That’s what happened to The Telegraph’s Ben Bloom on […]
12 years ago

PokerStars to pursue Neymar after Ibrahimovic bid fails?
Will there be a ‘full house’ in Paris tonight…?
12 years ago

Video: Legendary boss bumps up everyone’s wage to £50,000 a year
Get that man a beer…
12 years ago

Hillary Clinton may have the best 404 page on the interweb
US politics isn’t really our bag here at JOE…that is, until we came across the 404 page on Hillary Clinton’s campaign website. You know, that little error page that redirects you when you’ve hit a broken link. Well, take a look at this excellent example that might – just might – carry ‘Hillary for America’ all […]
12 years ago

United fans hijack vote in bid to make Balotelli Liverpool’s player of the year
Mario Lolotelli…
12 years ago

Petr Cech OWNS fan with this brilliant reply on Twitter
He owns him. He f**king owns him. Owned. Ouch. Burn. Zing. Don’t mess with Petr. Come at the Petr, you best not miss. OWNED. https://twitter.com/baelyblind/status/588061942717292547 https://t.co/OUgDDpTKzt. I doubt that as Slovenian he could play for the Czech team 😂😯😮🙈🙊😳 — Petr Cech (@PetrCech) April 14, 2015 Owned.
12 years ago

Pic: Man City women’s team stars snapped with Louis van Gaal
When your club have just lost 4-2 to their bitter rivals in the Manchester derby, it probably isn’t the best idea to be pictured grinning with the opposition manager. But that’s exactly what happened to Man City women’s team players Toni Duggan and Isobel Christiansen on Sunday night. Duggan put the photo on Instagram with the […]
12 years ago

Obese soldiers told to attend ‘fat clubs’ to get back into shape
Chunky soldiers have been ordered to attend army ‘fat clubs’ after medical checks ruledsome troops are too overweight to fight. The Mirror report that a diet of fry-ups for breakfast and chips with every meal has led to a number of soldiers being ‘medically downgraded’ ahead of planned tours to Iraq and Afghanistan, with senior officers forced to step […]
12 years ago

Leverkusen sack Emir Spahic for headbutting a steward
Footballers are notorious for getting away with murder, protected by clubs willing to defend the indefensible to protect their investment. But it turns out there is a line they shouldn’t cross…which was emphatically discovered by Bosnian defender Emir Spahic this week. The centre-back has been sacked by Bundesliga side Bayer Leverkusen for headbutting a steward […]
12 years ago