‘I see nothing ahead of me but blackness’
Phillip Schofield has expressed deep remorse after he spoke out for the first time about his affair with a much younger colleague.
The disgraced TV presenter gave two separate interviews to the BBC and The Sun after his career was effectively ended by the scandal.
After fleeing waiting paparazzi outside his house, he sat down with Amol Rajan for an interview in which he said he has “lost everything” and that he’ll never work on TV again.
“I have to talk about television in the past tense, which breaks my heart,” he said, adding: “I see nothing ahead of me but blackness, and sadness, and regret, and remorse, and guilt. I did something very wrong, and then I lied about it consistently.”
In a separate interview with The Sun, Schofield, who was “visibly shaking”, denied that he had groomed the boy, saying: “I know the photos of us circulating on Twitter look shocking, but I’m not a groomer”.
He also revealed he is still friends with the ex show runner, 30 years his junior, and says their romance only started once the man was 20 after “something just happened between us that changed everything”.
Schofield offered a huge apology to former co-host Holly Willoughby for ruining their TV partnership, and confirms the pair no longer speak, and he said he has not watched a single This Morning since his resignation, adding: “I can’t watch it. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to again.”
Furiously vaping, he concluded: “I’m sorry. And I will forever be sorry. I will die sorry. I am so deeply mortified.”
Schofield said the past week had made him understand how Caroline Flack had felt before she took her own life.
He said: “It is relentless, and it is day after day, after day after day,” he said. “If you don’t think that that is going to have the most catastrophic effect on someone’s mind… do want me to die? Because that’s where I am. I have lost everything.”
He went on: “How much do you want a man to take? Are you truly only happy when he’s dead? This is how Caroline Flack felt, and it didn’t stop, and I know I’ve done something wrong, and I’ve owned up to doing something wrong, but constant friends texting me, ‘Mate, this is relentless, when’s it gonna stop? What’s the agenda?’ Someone said, ‘You’re being treated like Jack the Ripper.’
“I haven’t looked at a single thing, that would be the single thing. I took off all the apps, I haven’t looked at the news but well-meaning people come through, ‘Can’t believe they’ve said this.’ Still it comes, it is utterly relentless, uncontrolled, online.”