Search icon


04th Jan 2022

Book claims you may ‘fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese’

Kieran Galpin


Do you brie-lieve in magic?

If you have struggled to get a date recently then don’t fear – a book on witchcraft has stated that simply giving a woman cheese will suffice in your quest for love.

You know the saying: all great things come from the 17th century. Straight from the time period that saw historic moments like the Mayflower crossing and the fall of the Ming Dynasty, tips on how to pick up women have seen new light on Twitter.

In a picture taken of The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft, Twitter users were delighted to find out that it only takes cheese to woo a woman.

While we’d argue that any person, regardless of gender identity, is susceptible to the enchantment of a cheese board, the book’s explanation leaves a lot to speculation.

“You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese,” the text reads.

But what cheese? Is there a certain amount required? How does handing someone a slice of brie count as witchcraft?

Since sharing the excerpt on Twitter, Dr Holly Walters has seen thousands of notifications flood her phone.

One quote tweet reads: “Armed with his tactical brie, the young American male heads into the nearest Sephora. He must secure a mate before the rainy season ends.”

While combing through literally dozens of ‘comedians’ and their cheese-related puns, it became apparent that many women are in agreement.

“I am not ashamed to admit this is me,” one wrote.

Other tidbits from this bible of dating techniques also include cheese. Most notably, the book suggests mixing cheese, salt and flour together before leaving it in your crush’s room.

“She will have no rest until she sees you,” it adds.

So delete Tinder, Grindr, or whatever 21st-century invention you use for love. If you want a girlfriend then it’s never been cheesier – sorry, couldn’t help ourselves.

Related links: