Nooruddean Choudry

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  • Colwyn Bay FC win Christmas with brilliant Fairytale of New York tweet

    Colwyn Bay FC win Christmas with brilliant Fairytale of New York tweet

    Well played Colwyn Bay, well played. The Seagulls from North Wales, currently plying their trade in the Northern Premier League Premier Division, have kicked off Christmas with possibly the best official festive football tweet around. It is the time of year when Fairytale of New York is near impossible to ignore. Despite being omnipresent, the classic performed […]

    11 years ago

  • Ashley Cole – from world-class defender to a player LA Galaxy fans don’t want

    Ashley Cole – from world-class defender to a player LA Galaxy fans don’t want

    What a fall from grace. It wasn’t too long ago that Ashley Cole seemed to have it all – a big fat lucrative contract with Chelsea, an automatic England berth, a beautiful pop star girlfriend and a reputation as one of the world’s very finest fullbacks. Now, having only just turned 35 this week, he […]

    11 years ago

  • Claudio Ranieri compares top-topping Leicester City to Forrest Gump

    Claudio Ranieri compares top-topping Leicester City to Forrest Gump

    “RUN JAMIE! RUN!” You’ve got to love Claudio Ranieri. Not only is he mixing things up at the top of the Premier League, but he’s doing it with a smile on his face. His high-flying Foxes sit atop of the tree at Christmas, and are thrilling the country with their pacy, energetic brand of high-octane […]

    11 years ago

  • VIDEO: Bono, Hozier and friends busk in Dublin city centre as fans lose their sh*t

    VIDEO: Bono, Hozier and friends busk in Dublin city centre as fans lose their sh*t

    Tickets for this street gig would have gone for an absolute packet. Dublin’s famous Grafton Street was abuzz as Bono, Hozier, Glen Hansard, The Script, Kodaline and more took part in an impromptu Christmas busk to end all busks. Some short clips of the superstars leading a chorus of festive singers have been posted online and […]

    11 years ago

  • VIDEO: Terry Crews performing Jingle Bells on his pecs is a thing to behold

    VIDEO: Terry Crews performing Jingle Bells on his pecs is a thing to behold

    We love Terry Crews. The star of the Expendables and Everyone Hates Chris is a firm favourite of ours here at JOE towers for his brilliant comedy performances and impressive musical turns. When he’s not killing it on Lip Sync Battle… He’s appearing in classic ads that showcase his best talents… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZ15vCGuvH0 Now, just for Christmas, he […]

    11 years ago

  • Video: A broken Wayne Rooney opens up about Van Gaal and a terrible month

    Video: A broken Wayne Rooney opens up about Van Gaal and a terrible month

    He looks like a broken man. Louis van Gaal may be under immense pressure at the moment for his failing team and dull tactics, but Wayne Rooney isn’t far behind. The England striker is enduring a barren season and is seen by many to be a major part of the problem. Indeed, a major criticism […]

    11 years ago

  • VIDEO: This is still the greatest football/Christmas mashup of all time

    VIDEO: This is still the greatest football/Christmas mashup of all time

    It’s that time of year when we’re all bombarded with Christmas songs. The radio, highstreet stores and even work spaces are wall-to-wall Mariah and Slade. Even if you enjoy these festive ditties, they start to grate very quickly. But for us at least, there’s one Crimbo song that reigns supreme – the Karim Benzema Christmas Song. It’s […]

    11 years ago

  • British Muslim family inexplicably stopped from boarding a plane to Disneyland

    British Muslim family inexplicably stopped from boarding a plane to Disneyland

    One family’s dream holiday has been ruined – and it’s unclear why. A British Muslim family’s once-in-a-lifetime trip to Disneyland, California was scuppered when they were stopped from getting on a plane by US authorities. Department of Homeland Security officials stopped the family at Gatwick airport on December 15. No reason was given for why they wouldn’t let the group […]

    11 years ago

  • Man United plan shock move for Real Madrid’s James Rodriguez

    Man United plan shock move for Real Madrid’s James Rodriguez

    They may be a club in disarray, with their manager’s future very much in the balance, but that’s not going to stop Man United going after ‘marquee’ names. Ed Woodward, possibly the most powerful man with a neckbeard in world football, is plotting an audacious move for Real Madrid’s James ‘Hamez’ Rodriguez. The Colombian playmaker has […]

    11 years ago

  • Man United risk missing out on Mourinho as Real Madrid look to tempt him back

    Man United risk missing out on Mourinho as Real Madrid look to tempt him back

    We’re used to Man United being gazumped for big name players, but are they about to be out-manoeuvred in their attempts to attract a new manager? Whilst Ed Woodward and the Old Trafford board continue to dawdle over whether or not to sack Louis van Gaal, the most obvious candidate to replace him could soon be in […]

    11 years ago

  • Jordan Henderson stares out Watford fan giving him pelters (Video)

    Jordan Henderson stares out Watford fan giving him pelters (Video)

    Jordan Henderson knows all about staring out the opposition. He certainly didn’t flinch when eyeballing pantomime baddie Diego Costa earlier in the year, eventually forcing the Chelsea man to back down… https://twitter.com/LaughingFooty/status/677896150628732929 But it’s a little trickier when your foe is sat in the stands. Unless you’re Eric Cantona, it’s very difficult to do anything […]

    11 years ago

  • The internet mocks Klopp and Liverpool after 3-0 Watford mauling

    The internet mocks Klopp and Liverpool after 3-0 Watford mauling

    The internet can be a very cruel place when you lose a game of football. It wasn’t long ago that everything that Jurgen Klopp touched turned to gold. Now many are revelling in his relative misfortune (despite the fact he has inherited these players and not yet signed a soul). His Liverpool side’s 3-0 defeat […]

    11 years ago

  • Pic: Liverpool’s pre-game Snapchat is more embarrassing than any nude selfie

    Pic: Liverpool’s pre-game Snapchat is more embarrassing than any nude selfie

    Always be super careful what you put on Snapchat. It could come back to haunt you. Of course you may be feeling momentarily brave, but you never know when someone will screenshot that sh*t and share it with the rest of the world. Sadly for Liverpool, that’s just what has happened. And it’s worse than Jurgen […]

    11 years ago

  • Pics: Liverpool keeper Bogdan drops a clanger to gift Watford the lead

    Pics: Liverpool keeper Bogdan drops a clanger to gift Watford the lead

    Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Poor Adam Bogdan. The ‘Ginger Buffon’ as Liverpool fans used to affectionately call him, gifted Watford the lead at Vicarage Road by dropping the ball TWICE in as many seconds… It as within three minutes of the kickoff that the blunder occurred, as a cross was dropped […]

    11 years ago

  • Man United fans turn to the dark side and yearn for Mourinho

    Man United fans turn to the dark side and yearn for Mourinho

    The mood has darkened around Old Trafford. There are a plethora of reasons why many of the United faithful are at the end of their tether with Louis van Gaal. The sense of exasperation can be distilled into two simple facts: the results aren’t good enough, and the performances are soul-destroyingly dull. Both in conjunction simply […]

    11 years ago

  • Official: Bayern Munich chief confirms Carlo Ancelotti is replacing Pep Guardiola

    Official: Bayern Munich chief confirms Carlo Ancelotti is replacing Pep Guardiola

    Well it has been mooted for the last few days and now it’s official – it’s Pep out and Carlo in at the Allianz Arena. Bayern Munich Chief Executive Karl-Heinz Rummenigge has confirmed to German news outlet Bild that Pep Guardiola is leaving the club at the end of the season, to be replaced by former Chelsea […]

    11 years ago

  • Martin Keown mocked for cringeworthy N’Golo Kante gaffe on MOTD

    Martin Keown mocked for cringeworthy N’Golo Kante gaffe on MOTD

    Martin Keown has reinvented himself as something of an intellectual pundit. Or has tried to anyway. He seems to think that speaking…in…a…very…slow…deliberate…manner somehow adds gravitas and extra meaning to what he’s saying. Unfortunately it doesn’t count for much when you’re talking nonsense. On Saturday’s Match of the Day, the former Arsenal man was eager to […]

    11 years ago

  • Is this the worst banner that Chelsea fans have ever produced? (Pic)

    Is this the worst banner that Chelsea fans have ever produced? (Pic)

    For good or for bad, Chelsea supporters are renowned for their banners. Whether it is large and expensive signs proclaiming John Terry to be a ‘Captain,Leader,Legend’… …or home-made inkjet efforts utilising the full range of modern-day colour toners… …or the sensational occasion when some went to the trouble of laminating signs mocking a footballer for slipping, something […]

    11 years ago

  • Spurs tweet Star Wars puns and the replies are absolutely merciless

    Spurs tweet Star Wars puns and the replies are absolutely merciless

    Poor Tottenham. They try and get into the spirit of things and the response from fans is non-stop p*sstaking. With Star Wars mania taking over every aspect of our lives right now, football is not immune to its charms. Spurs clearly decided to capitalise on the trend and have some fun at the same time. So […]

    11 years ago

  • Stam Ford: The Forced Dismissal (Warning: Chelsea spoilers)

    Stam Ford: The Forced Dismissal (Warning: Chelsea spoilers)

    One of the most of the most enduring sagas in English football concluded its latest chapter this week. Here’s our review of the Stam Ford: The Forced Dismissal… The first thing to say is that diehard fans will not be disappointed. All the key ingredients are there – grotesque alien creatures (Diego Costa), an unscrupulous bounty […]

    11 years ago

  • 6 potential candidates to replace Jose Mourinho as Chelsea boss

    6 potential candidates to replace Jose Mourinho as Chelsea boss

    Jose Mourinho’s arse indentations on the cushioned Chelsea bench haven’t yet properly risen, yet already talk has turned to who will replace him. Assuming John Terry is happy enough to hover over the hotseat like an ominous spectre for the time being at least, we’ve looked at six potential candidates to shimmy into Jose’s bum grooves… […]

    11 years ago

  • Somewhere in Manchester, the force awakens for a whole new generation

    Somewhere in Manchester, the force awakens for a whole new generation

    A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…or more precisely a burger joint in the heart of Manchester. The venue was the Great Northern Warehouse – itself a relic of a once mighty empire – and the event a special midnight screening of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The showing was organised by […]

    11 years ago

  • Roy Keane questions Man United’s failing transfer policy (Video)

    Roy Keane questions Man United’s failing transfer policy (Video)

    Man United are expected to spend big again in January and in the summer to solve some of their current problems. Louis van Gaal has been openly critical of Bastian Schweinsteiger, and neither one of Michael Carrick, Morgan Schneiderlin or Ander Herrera seem able to keep their place in the Dutchman’s team. On top of that they can’t score […]

    11 years ago

  • Official: Karim Benzema suspended by France national team following sex tape scandal

    Official: Karim Benzema suspended by France national team following sex tape scandal

    The French Football Federation have confirmed on Thursday that star striker Karim Benzema is suspended indefinitely from representing his nation. The Real Madrid forward has been indicted in the Mathieu Valbuena sex-tape blackmail affair and following reports in French newspaper L’Equipe that he would be banned from the French national team, it has now been confirmed by the FFF. The governing […]

    11 years ago

  • Tyson Fury: I am not a homophobe and I don’t hate anybody (Video)

    Tyson Fury: I am not a homophobe and I don’t hate anybody (Video)

    A defiant Tyson Fury appeared on Sky Sports on Thursday, adamant that he is not a homophobe and rather a uniting presence in the world. When asked directly whether he was homophobic, Fury said it would be un-Christian to be so: “No, definitely not. I wouldn’t be a very good Christian if I hated anybody, would […]

    11 years ago

  • Everyone mocks pathetic Man United for not joining the Champions League party

    Everyone mocks pathetic Man United for not joining the Champions League party

    At one point it looked like all the English teams would struggle to escape the groups stages of the Champions League. But they rallied. Each of the Premier League contingent brought their undeniable quality and fighting spirit to the fore. In the end, the respective tacticians managed to expertly guide their teams to the knockout stages. […]

    11 years ago

  • Arsenal player-by-player twitter ratings – Olympiakos 0-3 AFC

    Arsenal player-by-player twitter ratings – Olympiakos 0-3 AFC

    Starting XI: Cech https://twitter.com/AFCKoyes/status/674694785807073280 Bellerín Bellerin's development >>>>>>>> — MBDN (@Deen8) December 9, 2015 Mertesacker I tell you what, a massive shout out has to go to Mertesacker. He has been magnificent tonight. Solid pretty much all game. — GoonersRelated (@GoonersRelated) December 9, 2015 Koscielny Koscielny is so important in the build up now. We […]

    11 years ago

  • Everton’s Steven Naismith proves once again he is one of football’s most generous blokes

    Everton’s Steven Naismith proves once again he is one of football’s most generous blokes

    He’s already proved he’s a genuinely lovely bloke who cares about people, but Steven Naismith has gone up even further in our estimations with his latest gesture. After sorting out match tickets for unemployed Everton fans earlier in the year, the Goodison Park favourite has again helped those less fortunate than himself on Merseyside – and […]

    11 years ago

  • Tony Blair comes out in support of Tony Blair, and the internet responds superbly

    Tony Blair comes out in support of Tony Blair, and the internet responds superbly

    Tony Blair was once seen as the Labour Party’s saviour. Some loyal devotees still believe that to be true, but many feel his legacy is forever tarnished. The fact that he ignored the laments of a nation and led the country into a bogus war with Iraq remains unforgivable to millions of his former advocates. Then […]

    11 years ago

  • The Daily Show’s perfect response to Donald Trump’s anti-Muslim tirade (Video)

    The Daily Show’s perfect response to Donald Trump’s anti-Muslim tirade (Video)

    The Daily Show never fails to cut through the bullsh*t of US politics with its biting satire and rapier wit. Of course in Donald Trump they have a subject that is both ripe and deserving of merciless ridicule Politicians and the public alike have been damning of Trump’s frankly fascist and unconstitutional call for a “total […]

    11 years ago

  • Neymar’s new tattoo is surprisingly beautiful and poignant (Pics)

    Neymar’s new tattoo is surprisingly beautiful and poignant (Pics)

    Footballers aren’t always renowned for their quality tats. If it’s not a pseudo-philosophical phrase in a foreign language, it’s a life-size image of their mum that looks more like Louis van Gaal. But Neymar has bucked the trend with a genuinely moving and stylish ink. Brazilian tattooist Miguel Bohigues posted two pictures on his Instagram account. One of […]

    11 years ago

  • Man United fans utterly miserable on the mourning after the night before (Tweets)

    Man United fans utterly miserable on the mourning after the night before (Tweets)

    Yes it really happened. Manchester United slumped out of the Champions League, despite on paper having a pretty straight-forward group to navigate. There was a level of spirit and attacking intent in the 3-2 defeat to Wolfsburg, but it was too little too late. United fans woke up with sore heads and broken hearts on […]

    11 years ago

  • Tyson Fury stripped of World heavyweight IBF title

    Tyson Fury stripped of World heavyweight IBF title

    Wow. Tyson Fury has been sensationally stripped of his World heavyweight IBF title – less than a fortnight after winning the belt against Wladimir Klitschko. Lindsey Tucker, championships chairman at the IBF, confirmed to BBC Sport: “It’s true he’s been stripped of his IBF belt.” “Our challenger was Vyacheslav Glazkov, but instead Fury’s gone and signed a re-match clause […]

    11 years ago

  • Michael Owen makes ridiculous comment about Man United’s title hopes (Video)

    Michael Owen makes ridiculous comment about Man United’s title hopes (Video)

    Is Michael Owen for real? It was all doom and gloom in the BT Sport studio after Man United were dumped out of the Champions League following their 3-2 defeat to Wolfsburg. Gary Lineker was joined by former reds Rio Ferdinand, Paul Scholes and Michael Owen as they glumly picked the bones out of a woeful […]

    11 years ago

  • Rival fans take the p*ss out of Schmeichel’s smug Champions League draw tweet

    Rival fans take the p*ss out of Schmeichel’s smug Champions League draw tweet

    Let this be a lesson – never count your chickens. And definitely not on Twitter. Back in August, Manchester United’s Champions League draw was seen as something of a cake walk by many. The reds were joined by Wolfsburg, PSV Eindhoven and CSKA Moscow in Group B. Easy peasy. Former keeper Peter Schmeichel was so confident following […]

    11 years ago

  • Man United player-by-player twitter ratings – Wolfsburg 3-2 MUFC

    Man United player-by-player twitter ratings – Wolfsburg 3-2 MUFC

    Starting XI De Gea David de Gea is something else. — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) December 8, 2015 Varela The one and only positive out of tonight is Varela. — Danielle 🎯⚽️🏎️ (@flash_mufc9) December 8, 2015 Smalling The worst news of the night may still be Smalling's injury. When there was still hope, fine, but after […]

    11 years ago

  • Man United XI to face VfL Wolfsburg – Varela starts

    Man United XI to face VfL Wolfsburg – Varela starts

    Manchester United have announced the line-up for their crunch game with VfL Wolfsburg in the Champions League. The Old Trafford side need a win in Germany and have plumped for novice Guillermo Varela at right-back. Fellaini, Schweinsteiger and Lingard make up the midfield, with Mata, Memphis and Martial up front. The full line-up is as […]

    11 years ago

  • The single most damning stat about Van Gaal’s dreary possession obsession

    The single most damning stat about Van Gaal’s dreary possession obsession

    Dominating the ball is all well and good, but it’s what you do with it that counts. And there is the distinct feeling amongst Man United fans that their team is doing very little with their pointless plodding ponderous possession. Louis van Gaal is adamant that Man United do play attacking, exciting football, and that the […]

    11 years ago

  • Louis van Gaal tells fans that Man United shall be champions (Video)

    Louis van Gaal tells fans that Man United shall be champions (Video)

    Well you’ve got to admire his confidence if nothing else. Louis van Gaal is under increasing pressure at Man United. The honeymoon period is well and truly over, as fans become disillusioned by a lack of goals and attacking intent. But few can doubt that the man has charisma, and a very colourful personality. He […]

    11 years ago

  • Robbie Savage’s cheeky reference to John Terry during award speech (Video)

    Robbie Savage’s cheeky reference to John Terry during award speech (Video)

    He couldn’t resist. Robbie Savage seemed genuinely humbled when he went up to accept the Radio Show of the Year award on behalf of BBC 5Live’s 606 at the Football Supporters’ Federation Awards on Monday night. The prestigious FSF Awards are voted by the fans and so mean a great deal to those lucky enough […]

    11 years ago