Man United plan shock move for Real Madrid’s James Rodriguez

They may be a club in disarray, with their manager's future very much in the balance, but that's not going to stop Man United going after 'marquee' names.

Ed Woodward, possibly the most powerful man with a neckbeard in world football, is plotting an audacious move for Real Madrid's James 'Hamez' Rodriguez. The Colombian playmaker has struggled for games under Rafael Benitez after an injury-hit season, and the word in Spain is that he is considering his future at the Bernabeu. He would surely be tempted by the prospect of playing in a free-scoring Man United side, whose exciting, fluid style is very much in keeping with the 24-year-old's game. Ahem. Jose Luis Sanchez, a Spanish journalist on television show El Chiringuito, claimed on Tuesday that United are “very interested” in bringing Rodriguez to Old Trafford, and suggested something was in the works. We look forward to the South American being criticised for taking shots on goal when 34 extra passes could have been improved the possession stats.