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Articles written by the more mysterious members of the JOE editorial team

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  • Arsenal fans slam ‘stupid rules’ as they compare Konsa yellow with David Luiz red

    Arsenal fans slam ‘stupid rules’ as they compare Konsa yellow with David Luiz red

    Arsenal fans believed their side had been victims of refereeing inconsistencies It’s bee a rough week for Arsenal and their supporters. Again. After quiet optimism that Mikel Arteta’s men were slowly getting themselves out of the mess they appeared to be in a few weeks ago, back-to-back defeats in the Midlands have brought them crashing […]

    5 years ago

  • Premier League clubs told ‘monkey emojis don’t violate racism rules’ by Twitter

    Premier League clubs told ‘monkey emojis don’t violate racism rules’ by Twitter

    This follows several high-profile incidents of players being racially abused on social media Premier League clubs have reportedly been left shocked after reporting racist messages directed at players on Twitter only to be told by the social media platform that use of a monkey emoji does not violate any of the rules. According to the […]

    5 years ago

  • Jack Grealish helps pay for funeral of teenage Aston Villa fan who died in car crash

    Jack Grealish helps pay for funeral of teenage Aston Villa fan who died in car crash

    Grealish made a donation and urged others to do the same after hearing the tragic news Aston Villa captain Jack Grealish donated £2,000 towards the funeral of 18-year-old Mia Craen, who sadly passed away after a car accident last week. Mia died at the scene of the crash in Southwater, West Sussex, last Saturday. An […]

    5 years ago

  • 87 million pints to be wasted by Covid pub closures

    87 million pints to be wasted by Covid pub closures

    The amount of beer wasted would have exceeded £300m in sales Pub closures during Covid-19 lockdowns will see up to 87 million pints of beer wasted across the UK, according to the calculations of an industry body. The pub industry has been hit incredibly hard by the closures. Using industry feedback, The British Beer and […]

    5 years ago

  • Police catch one of their own employees at illegal lockdown rave

    Police catch one of their own employees at illegal lockdown rave

    The member of staff has since left their position after it became clear they attended the illegal rave A member of civilian staff at Greater Manchester Police has left the force after it was discovered they attended a 4,000-strong illegal lockdown rave last summer, defying coronavirus restrictions in the process. The female member of staff […]

    5 years ago

  • Scott McTominay shows ‘no mercy’ with his reaction to Man Utd’s ninth goal

    Scott McTominay shows ‘no mercy’ with his reaction to Man Utd’s ninth goal

    Ruthless stuff Look, we get it: elite football is a ruthless business. Life at the top is tough; there can be no room for sympathy for your inferior opponents. All this considered, you wouldn’t be human if some part of you did’t feel at least a *little bit* sorry for Southampton in the closing stages […]

    5 years ago

  • Online petition launched for Captain Sir Tom Moore to receive a military state funeral

    Online petition launched for Captain Sir Tom Moore to receive a military state funeral

    Sir Winston Churchill was the last non-monarch to receive a UK state funeral A petition has been launched to give Captain Sir Tom Moore a military state funeral. “Sir Tom Moore did so much for the NHS with his fundraising he deserves this recognition,” says the Change.org petition. “It’s the right thing to do,” says […]

    5 years ago

  • Piers Morgan blasts Covid deniers after video showing Chris Whitty abuse

    Piers Morgan blasts Covid deniers after video showing Chris Whitty abuse

    “This video should disgust all of us… Where is our decency?” Piers Morgan has ripped into Covid deniers and conspiracy theorists after video footage showing Professor Chris Whitty being abused in the street was posted online. The video, which originally appeared on TikTok but has since been widely shared on other platforms, shows the Chief […]

    5 years ago

  • Study finds Covid-19 vaccine has ‘substantial’ effect on transmission

    Study finds Covid-19 vaccine has ‘substantial’ effect on transmission

    More very good news A new study has found that the Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccine had a ‘substantial’ effect on transmission of Covid-19. While it was already known that the jab prevented people from becoming ill from the virus, it wasn’t clear if it would stop people from catching it and passing it on to others. On […]

    5 years ago

  • Jan Bednarek heard saying Martial admitted red card decision wasn’t even a foul

    Jan Bednarek heard saying Martial admitted red card decision wasn’t even a foul

    A miserable night for Southampton With an injury-ravaged squad, Southampton were already up against it before a ball had been kicked at Old Trafford on Tuesday night. That in mind, they could’ve really done without 19-year-old Alex Jankewitz getting a straight red card for a dangerous tackle on Scott McTominay with barely a minute played. […]

    5 years ago

  • Burnley left ‘£90m worse off’ after recent US takeover

    Burnley left ‘£90m worse off’ after recent US takeover

    The deal has drawn comparisons with the Glazer family’s takeover of Manchester United Burnley’s recent takeover by US consortium ALK Capital is reported to have left the Premier League club around £90m worse off, with the deal containing similarities with the Glazer family’s leveraged buyout of Manchester United in 2005. According to David Conn, writing […]

    5 years ago

  • Saved By The Bell star Dustin Diamond dies, aged 44

    Saved By The Bell star Dustin Diamond dies, aged 44

    Diamond had been diagnosed with cancer in January Saved By The Bell star Dustin Diamond has passed away aged 44. The actor, who rose to fame for playing Screech in the much-loved nineties sitcom, had battled stage four cancer having been diagnosed just a matter of weeks ago. The news of his death was confirmed […]

    5 years ago

  • Liverpool close in on Kabak and Davies for initial combined fee of just £1.5m

    Liverpool close in on Kabak and Davies for initial combined fee of just £1.5m

    Liverpool nearly have their man men They’ve left it late in the window – very, very late in the window, actually – but Liverpool are expected to complete a deadline day double signing of Ozan Kabak and Ben Davies to bolster their depleted defensive ranks. Kabak, a 20-year-old Turkish international, is expected to arrive from […]

    5 years ago

  • All BT Sport customers can now access innovative Matchday Experience features

    All BT Sport customers can now access innovative Matchday Experience features

    Brought to you by BT Sport Game changer Ah, match days. Remember how they used to be? That flutter of excitement as you approached the turnstiles. Queuing for your half-time pie. The screaming yourself hoarse with several thousand others in the glorious chaos that followed your team’s last-gasp winner… *Sigh*. How we miss those days. […]

    5 years ago

  • Evan Rachel Wood accuses Marilyn Manson of grooming and abuse

    Evan Rachel Wood accuses Marilyn Manson of grooming and abuse

    ‘I am done living in fear of retaliation, slander, or blackmail’ Actress Evan Rachel Wood has accused musician Marilyn Manson of grooming her and subjecting her to years of ‘horrific’ abuse. The 33-year-old Westworld star got engaged to Manson, whose real name is Brian Warner, in January 2010 after a three-year relationship. The pair called […]

    5 years ago

  • Liverpool linked with shock Shkodran Mustafi move to solve defensive injury crisis

    Liverpool linked with shock Shkodran Mustafi move to solve defensive injury crisis

    Mustafi could be a short-term fix to Liverpool’s defensive injury crisis Liverpool, you might have heard, could do with a defender. Maybe a couple of defenders. Long-term injuries to Virgil Van Dijk and Joe Gomez – following the summer departure of Dejan Lovren – left the Premier League champions a little light at the back […]

    5 years ago

  • M&S are selling Percy Pig pancakes

    M&S are selling Percy Pig pancakes

    Perfect with Percy Pig dessert sauce If I had to pick one food or drink item to symbolise the UK, honestly, it wouldn’t be tea, or fish and chips, or yorkshire puddings. It would be Percy Pigs. Everyone loves Percy Pigs, no matter who they are – unless you are Piers Morgan getting performatively angry […]

    5 years ago

  • Tory MP refuses apology for urging anti-vaxxers to ‘persist’ against Covid restrictions

    Tory MP refuses apology for urging anti-vaxxers to ‘persist’ against Covid restrictions

    He has been accused of spreading dangerous misinformation Senior Conservative MP Sir Desmond Swayne has refused to apologise for encouraging a group of anti-vaccination campaigners to “persist” in their fight against Covid restrictions. Swayne, the MP for New Forest West and once an aide to David Cameron, told the group that NHS figures were being […]

    5 years ago

  • Disqualified driver arrested for using second-hand ambulance to do Asda shop

    Disqualified driver arrested for using second-hand ambulance to do Asda shop

    The ambulance reportedly arrived at the supermarket with its blue lights flashing, having presumably used them to cut through traffic Okay, we’ll level with you: there was a time, not even a week ago, where we thought we’d heard the most ridiculous ‘news’ story we’d hear all year. It turns out we were wrong – […]

    5 years ago

  • Zlatan Ibrahimovic aims dig at Romelu Lukaku as he posts anti-racism tweet

    Zlatan Ibrahimovic aims dig at Romelu Lukaku as he posts anti-racism tweet

    Zlatan does not appear to be letting this one go Zlatan Ibrahimovic appears to have aimed another dig at Romelu Lukaku, hours after the pair clashed in Tuesday night’s Milan derby. Having reportedly assured his Milan teammates after the game that no racist language was used as he traded insults with Lukaku towards the end […]

    5 years ago

  • Gianluigi Buffon facing one-game ban for breaching blasphemy laws

    Gianluigi Buffon facing one-game ban for breaching blasphemy laws

    *Resists urge to do the obvious thing of beginning article with a blasphemous phrase* Gianluigi Buffon could be facing a one-match ban after allegedly directing a blasphemous term at a Juventus teammate during a game at Parma last month. The soon-to-be 43-year-old is alleged to have shouted ‘Porco Dio!’ when he became exasperated with Manolo […]

    5 years ago

  • Football clubs facing ban on gambling company shirt sponsors

    Football clubs facing ban on gambling company shirt sponsors

    Gambling firm football shirt sponsorship could be banned in months Increasing concerns over gambling addiction in the UK could see Boris Johnson announce a ban on betting company sponsors appearing on football shirts in the months ahead. With a review being conducted by the government, The Telegraph report the prime minister could bring about a […]

    5 years ago

  • Boris Johnson refuses to give NHS and social care staff a £500 Covid bonus

    Boris Johnson refuses to give NHS and social care staff a £500 Covid bonus

    Johnson refused to back calls to follow Scotland Boris Johnson has refused to back calls to give a bonus of £500 to NHS staff in England as a show of support. The prime minister was asked if he would follow the example set in Scotland, where Nicola Sturgeon approved plans to reward  health and social […]

    5 years ago

  • Nando’s are adding limited edition extra, extra hot Peri-Peri sauce

    Nando’s are adding limited edition extra, extra hot Peri-Peri sauce

    Dare you step up and take the challenge? Where do you lie on the Nando’s scale? What level of sauce do you go for? Do you play it safe with Lemon & Herb or Medium, or do you go straight for extra hot? Well, things are about to get a bit hotter and more dangerous […]

    5 years ago

  • Police called to illegal rave to find pensioners queuing for vaccine

    Police called to illegal rave to find pensioners queuing for vaccine

    Someone mistakenly confused a vaccination centre for an illegal rave and alerted the police. An easy mistake It’s been a hell of a 12 months, hasn’t it? No need for a full recap, but let’s just say that, after all that’s gone on, each and every one of us are feeling the strain. Perhaps then, […]

    5 years ago

  • Man ejected from Tesco store for wearing ‘Covid is a con’ mask

    Man ejected from Tesco store for wearing ‘Covid is a con’ mask

    The 58-year-old was wearing a V For Vendetta mask with “Covid is a con” scrawled on it Video has emerged of a 58-year-old ‘Covid-19 protestor’ being ejected from a Tesco branch on the Isle of Man. Company director and computer consultant Martin Houston was wearing a V For Vendetta mask with “Covid is a con” written […]

    5 years ago

  • Eminem stuns Dana White by telling him his opinion “doesn’t matter”

    Eminem stuns Dana White by telling him his opinion “doesn’t matter”

    Eminem’s never been one to not speak his mind With UFC 257 in Abu Dhabi fast approaching, Eminem – in true Eminem fashion – told Dana White that his opinion didn’t matter during a live TV interview, the clip instantly going viral as a result. The rapper’s song, ‘Higher’, is being used in promotional material […]

    5 years ago

  • The Only Way Is Essex star Mick Norcross dies, aged 57

    The Only Way Is Essex star Mick Norcross dies, aged 57

    Norcross’ final tweet has been widely shared after the sad news was confirmed Mick Norcross, the businessman well known for his appearances on The Only Way Is Essex, has died aged 57. Norcross, whose son Kirk starred alongside him in the ITV show, was found dead at his home in Bulphan on Thursday afternoon. Essex […]

    5 years ago

  • Manchester City suffer Kevin De Bruyne injury blow

    Manchester City suffer Kevin De Bruyne injury blow

    De Bruyne could miss next month’s crunch match with Liverpool Manchester City could be without Kevin De Bruyne for the next month after he was forced off with a hamstring injury during their win over Aston Villa. The Belgian playmaker left the game shortly before the hour mark on Wednesday. Although some reports had suggested […]

    5 years ago

  • Floyd Mayweather gives bizarre Instagram tour of his $10m mansion

    Floyd Mayweather gives bizarre Instagram tour of his $10m mansion

    Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather wants to remind you that he’s rich Look, Floyd, we get it mate. You were arguably the best pound for pound fighter the world has ever known and, quite rightly, earned plenty of money for being so ridiculously good at it. All this is fine. We don’t begrudge anyone making a lot […]

    5 years ago

  • Fernando Torres has got absolutely jacked since retiring from football

    Fernando Torres has got absolutely jacked since retiring from football

    Yes, it really is him Understandably, many of us on these shores haven’t seen too much of Fernando Torres of late. The former Liverpool and Chelsea striker left English football nearly seven(!) years ago, eventually hanging up his boots up in 2019 after returning to Atletico Madrid for a bit and then playing out in Japan […]

    5 years ago

  • Liverpool fans complain at timing of half-time whistle in Man Utd draw

    Liverpool fans complain at timing of half-time whistle in Man Utd draw

    Some felt Sadio Mane was through on goal as the whistle blew All the hype, all the buildup, and in the end, Liverpool and Manchester United played out a goalless draw at Anfield on Sunday. Clear-cut chances were few and far between in a game that, despite a lack of goals, still made for an […]

    5 years ago

  • Patrice Evra reveals apology letter from Liverpool as he accuses fans of lacking class

    Patrice Evra reveals apology letter from Liverpool as he accuses fans of lacking class

    Evra revealed the letter he received in October 2019 Patrice Evra has accused Liverpool supporters of lacking ‘respect and class’ when sharing a letter sent to him on behalf of the club from former CEO, Peter Moore. In the letter, dated October 2019, Moore apologises to Evra for the way in which Liverpool responded to […]

    5 years ago

  • Marcus Rashford thanks M&S for boosting School Meal Vouchers to £20

    Marcus Rashford thanks M&S for boosting School Meal Vouchers to £20

    The retailer said the extra £5 can provide children with nutritious meals at home each day Marcus Rashford has thanked Marks and Spencer for bolstering the Government’s weekly £15 School Meal Vouchers to £20. The retailer announced on Friday that the extra £5 would be enough to provide children in England with enough nutritious meals […]

    5 years ago

  • Adidas bring back iconic 1998 Predator with Accelerator ‘Eternal Class’ boot

    Adidas bring back iconic 1998 Predator with Accelerator ‘Eternal Class’ boot

    Can you marry a football boot? (Please say yes) As far as football boots go, few designs come anywhere near close to matching adidas’ iconic 1998 Predator Accelerator. One of the most easy-on-the eye boots ever to grace a football pitch, they were worn by some of the sport’s biggest names in the very biggest […]

    5 years ago

  • JOE Survey T&C’s

    JOE Survey T&C’s

    JOE PRIZE DRAW T&C’s  Terms and Conditions The JOE Prize Draw will run between 20th January – 3rd February 2021. The JOE Prize Draw offers individuals who complete the survey, available to access via https://joefans.typeform.com/to/oZHh0I1A, a chance to win 1 x £50 Amazon Voucher by submitting their email address. In order to complete the survey […]

    5 years ago

  • Gary Neville apologises for his commentary during Burnley vs Man Utd

    Gary Neville apologises for his commentary during Burnley vs Man Utd

    ‘I will be better Sunday’ Gary Neville has tweeted an apology for his commentary during Tuesday night’s Premier League game between Burnley and Manchester United. The former United captain was co-commentating on the game for Sky Sports, and saw his old side move three points clear at the top of the Premier League thanks to […]

    5 years ago

  • BrewDog are giving away free beer to everyone in the UK

    BrewDog are giving away free beer to everyone in the UK

    Want free beer? Or course you do BrewDog has announced it is offering free beer to everyone in the UK. BrewDog’s Chief Executive Officer James Watt tweeted saying that the company would be offering a free four-pack of their Lost Lager to everyone in the UK. You will have to pay £1.95 for delivery though. […]

    5 years ago

  • Premier League announce record number of positive Covid-19 tests

    Premier League announce record number of positive Covid-19 tests

    The numbers continue to rise The Premier League has confirmed a record number of positive Covid-19 tests over the course of the last two rounds of testing. In total, 40 positive results were returned – more than double the 18 recorded during the previous week. The sharp rise is, perhaps, no great surprise. A continuing […]

    5 years ago

  • Pep Guardiola criticised for backing Benjamin Mendy after New Year Covid rule breach

    Pep Guardiola criticised for backing Benjamin Mendy after New Year Covid rule breach

    Guardiola urged those judging Mendy to look at their own actions Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola has been criticised for his quotes regarding Benjamin Mendy’s breach of Covid regulations on New Years Eve. City confirmed over the weekend that Mendy would be the subject of an internal investigation after reports he held a party at […]

    5 years ago