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Articles written by the more mysterious members of the JOE editorial team

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  • Disqualified driver arrested for using second-hand ambulance to do Asda shop

    Disqualified driver arrested for using second-hand ambulance to do Asda shop

    The ambulance reportedly arrived at the supermarket with its blue lights flashing, having presumably used them to cut through traffic Okay, we’ll level with you: there was a time, not even a week ago, where we thought we’d heard the most ridiculous ‘news’ story we’d hear all year. It turns out we were wrong – […]

    5 years ago

  • Zlatan Ibrahimovic aims dig at Romelu Lukaku as he posts anti-racism tweet

    Zlatan Ibrahimovic aims dig at Romelu Lukaku as he posts anti-racism tweet

    Zlatan does not appear to be letting this one go Zlatan Ibrahimovic appears to have aimed another dig at Romelu Lukaku, hours after the pair clashed in Tuesday night’s Milan derby. Having reportedly assured his Milan teammates after the game that no racist language was used as he traded insults with Lukaku towards the end […]

    5 years ago

  • Gianluigi Buffon facing one-game ban for breaching blasphemy laws

    Gianluigi Buffon facing one-game ban for breaching blasphemy laws

    *Resists urge to do the obvious thing of beginning article with a blasphemous phrase* Gianluigi Buffon could be facing a one-match ban after allegedly directing a blasphemous term at a Juventus teammate during a game at Parma last month. The soon-to-be 43-year-old is alleged to have shouted ‘Porco Dio!’ when he became exasperated with Manolo […]

    5 years ago

  • Football clubs facing ban on gambling company shirt sponsors

    Football clubs facing ban on gambling company shirt sponsors

    Gambling firm football shirt sponsorship could be banned in months Increasing concerns over gambling addiction in the UK could see Boris Johnson announce a ban on betting company sponsors appearing on football shirts in the months ahead. With a review being conducted by the government, The Telegraph report the prime minister could bring about a […]

    5 years ago

  • Boris Johnson refuses to give NHS and social care staff a £500 Covid bonus

    Boris Johnson refuses to give NHS and social care staff a £500 Covid bonus

    Johnson refused to back calls to follow Scotland Boris Johnson has refused to back calls to give a bonus of £500 to NHS staff in England as a show of support. The prime minister was asked if he would follow the example set in Scotland, where Nicola Sturgeon approved plans to reward  health and social […]

    5 years ago

  • Nando’s are adding limited edition extra, extra hot Peri-Peri sauce

    Nando’s are adding limited edition extra, extra hot Peri-Peri sauce

    Dare you step up and take the challenge? Where do you lie on the Nando’s scale? What level of sauce do you go for? Do you play it safe with Lemon & Herb or Medium, or do you go straight for extra hot? Well, things are about to get a bit hotter and more dangerous […]

    5 years ago

  • Police called to illegal rave to find pensioners queuing for vaccine

    Police called to illegal rave to find pensioners queuing for vaccine

    Someone mistakenly confused a vaccination centre for an illegal rave and alerted the police. An easy mistake It’s been a hell of a 12 months, hasn’t it? No need for a full recap, but let’s just say that, after all that’s gone on, each and every one of us are feeling the strain. Perhaps then, […]

    5 years ago

  • Man ejected from Tesco store for wearing ‘Covid is a con’ mask

    Man ejected from Tesco store for wearing ‘Covid is a con’ mask

    The 58-year-old was wearing a V For Vendetta mask with “Covid is a con” scrawled on it Video has emerged of a 58-year-old ‘Covid-19 protestor’ being ejected from a Tesco branch on the Isle of Man. Company director and computer consultant Martin Houston was wearing a V For Vendetta mask with “Covid is a con” written […]

    5 years ago

  • Eminem stuns Dana White by telling him his opinion “doesn’t matter”

    Eminem stuns Dana White by telling him his opinion “doesn’t matter”

    Eminem’s never been one to not speak his mind With UFC 257 in Abu Dhabi fast approaching, Eminem – in true Eminem fashion – told Dana White that his opinion didn’t matter during a live TV interview, the clip instantly going viral as a result. The rapper’s song, ‘Higher’, is being used in promotional material […]

    5 years ago

  • The Only Way Is Essex star Mick Norcross dies, aged 57

    The Only Way Is Essex star Mick Norcross dies, aged 57

    Norcross’ final tweet has been widely shared after the sad news was confirmed Mick Norcross, the businessman well known for his appearances on The Only Way Is Essex, has died aged 57. Norcross, whose son Kirk starred alongside him in the ITV show, was found dead at his home in Bulphan on Thursday afternoon. Essex […]

    5 years ago

  • Manchester City suffer Kevin De Bruyne injury blow

    Manchester City suffer Kevin De Bruyne injury blow

    De Bruyne could miss next month’s crunch match with Liverpool Manchester City could be without Kevin De Bruyne for the next month after he was forced off with a hamstring injury during their win over Aston Villa. The Belgian playmaker left the game shortly before the hour mark on Wednesday. Although some reports had suggested […]

    5 years ago

  • Floyd Mayweather gives bizarre Instagram tour of his $10m mansion

    Floyd Mayweather gives bizarre Instagram tour of his $10m mansion

    Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather wants to remind you that he’s rich Look, Floyd, we get it mate. You were arguably the best pound for pound fighter the world has ever known and, quite rightly, earned plenty of money for being so ridiculously good at it. All this is fine. We don’t begrudge anyone making a lot […]

    5 years ago

  • Fernando Torres has got absolutely jacked since retiring from football

    Fernando Torres has got absolutely jacked since retiring from football

    Yes, it really is him Understandably, many of us on these shores haven’t seen too much of Fernando Torres of late. The former Liverpool and Chelsea striker left English football nearly seven(!) years ago, eventually hanging up his boots up in 2019 after returning to Atletico Madrid for a bit and then playing out in Japan […]

    5 years ago

  • Liverpool fans complain at timing of half-time whistle in Man Utd draw

    Liverpool fans complain at timing of half-time whistle in Man Utd draw

    Some felt Sadio Mane was through on goal as the whistle blew All the hype, all the buildup, and in the end, Liverpool and Manchester United played out a goalless draw at Anfield on Sunday. Clear-cut chances were few and far between in a game that, despite a lack of goals, still made for an […]

    5 years ago

  • Patrice Evra reveals apology letter from Liverpool as he accuses fans of lacking class

    Patrice Evra reveals apology letter from Liverpool as he accuses fans of lacking class

    Evra revealed the letter he received in October 2019 Patrice Evra has accused Liverpool supporters of lacking ‘respect and class’ when sharing a letter sent to him on behalf of the club from former CEO, Peter Moore. In the letter, dated October 2019, Moore apologises to Evra for the way in which Liverpool responded to […]

    5 years ago

  • Marcus Rashford thanks M&S for boosting School Meal Vouchers to £20

    Marcus Rashford thanks M&S for boosting School Meal Vouchers to £20

    The retailer said the extra £5 can provide children with nutritious meals at home each day Marcus Rashford has thanked Marks and Spencer for bolstering the Government’s weekly £15 School Meal Vouchers to £20. The retailer announced on Friday that the extra £5 would be enough to provide children in England with enough nutritious meals […]

    5 years ago

  • Adidas bring back iconic 1998 Predator with Accelerator ‘Eternal Class’ boot

    Adidas bring back iconic 1998 Predator with Accelerator ‘Eternal Class’ boot

    Can you marry a football boot? (Please say yes) As far as football boots go, few designs come anywhere near close to matching adidas’ iconic 1998 Predator Accelerator. One of the most easy-on-the eye boots ever to grace a football pitch, they were worn by some of the sport’s biggest names in the very biggest […]

    5 years ago

  • JOE Survey T&C’s

    JOE Survey T&C’s

    JOE PRIZE DRAW T&C’s  Terms and Conditions The JOE Prize Draw will run between 20th January – 3rd February 2021. The JOE Prize Draw offers individuals who complete the survey, available to access via https://joefans.typeform.com/to/oZHh0I1A, a chance to win 1 x £50 Amazon Voucher by submitting their email address. In order to complete the survey […]

    5 years ago

  • Gary Neville apologises for his commentary during Burnley vs Man Utd

    Gary Neville apologises for his commentary during Burnley vs Man Utd

    ‘I will be better Sunday’ Gary Neville has tweeted an apology for his commentary during Tuesday night’s Premier League game between Burnley and Manchester United. The former United captain was co-commentating on the game for Sky Sports, and saw his old side move three points clear at the top of the Premier League thanks to […]

    5 years ago

  • BrewDog are giving away free beer to everyone in the UK

    BrewDog are giving away free beer to everyone in the UK

    Want free beer? Or course you do BrewDog has announced it is offering free beer to everyone in the UK. BrewDog’s Chief Executive Officer James Watt tweeted saying that the company would be offering a free four-pack of their Lost Lager to everyone in the UK. You will have to pay £1.95 for delivery though. […]

    5 years ago

  • Premier League announce record number of positive Covid-19 tests

    Premier League announce record number of positive Covid-19 tests

    The numbers continue to rise The Premier League has confirmed a record number of positive Covid-19 tests over the course of the last two rounds of testing. In total, 40 positive results were returned – more than double the 18 recorded during the previous week. The sharp rise is, perhaps, no great surprise. A continuing […]

    5 years ago

  • Pep Guardiola criticised for backing Benjamin Mendy after New Year Covid rule breach

    Pep Guardiola criticised for backing Benjamin Mendy after New Year Covid rule breach

    Guardiola urged those judging Mendy to look at their own actions Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola has been criticised for his quotes regarding Benjamin Mendy’s breach of Covid regulations on New Years Eve. City confirmed over the weekend that Mendy would be the subject of an internal investigation after reports he held a party at […]

    5 years ago

  • Edinson Cavani receives three match ban for using offensive phrase in social media post

    Edinson Cavani receives three match ban for using offensive phrase in social media post

    The Uruguayan has received a three-match ban for using a Spanish phrase that is considered offensive in some contexts on social media Edinson Cavani will also be fined £100,000 and must complete face-to-face education. Cavani chosed not to contest the FA’s charge. “A comment posted on the Manchester United FC striker’s Instagram page was insulting, […]

    5 years ago

  • Bill Bailey says he is up for a Never Mind The Buzzcocks reboot

    Bill Bailey says he is up for a Never Mind The Buzzcocks reboot

    “I don’t think there is anything that’s replaced it” Bill Bailey has said he would love to be part of a revived Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Speaking to The Mirror, the Strictly Come Dancing champion said that making the show was “some of the best fun I’ve ever had on television”. In September it was reported that Never Mind […]

    5 years ago

  • Craig David receives MBE in New Years Honours list

    Craig David receives MBE in New Years Honours list

    Hundreds of coronavirus volunteers have also received honours Singer Craig David has been made an MBE for his services for music in the 2021 New Years Honours list. Craig David’s first album Born To Do It became the fastest-selling debut from a British male solo artist in 2000. David’s manager Colin Lester also receives an […]

    5 years ago

  • Man Utd no longer have a free run at Jadon Sancho transfer

    Man Utd no longer have a free run at Jadon Sancho transfer

    United have competition It’s only right that today, the final day of 2020, we sign off with one final transfer story involving Jadon Sancho and Manchester United. The highly rated Borussia Dortmund winger seemed destined to move to Old Trafford throughout the summer, only for the relentless stream of articles and tweets promising the transfer […]

    5 years ago

  • Aston Villa equaliser stands despite Chelsea claims Grealish fouled Christensen

    Aston Villa equaliser stands despite Chelsea claims Grealish fouled Christensen

    Chelsea dropped more points as Aston Villa took a point from Stamford Bridge Chelsea players were left angered as Aston Villa scored an equaliser at Stamford Bridge seconds after what they felt was a foul by Jack Grealish on Andreas Christensen. Olivier Giroud had given Frank Lampard’s side the lead in the first half, but […]

    5 years ago

  • Neymar criticised after reportedly holding 5-day party with 500 guests

    Neymar criticised after reportedly holding 5-day party with 500 guests

    Neymar has yet to respond to the reports Paris Saint-Germain forward Neymar has been on the receiving end of criticism in his native Brazil after reportedly organising a five-day party in a mansion close to Rio de Janeiro. Brazilian outlet O Globo (via the Daily Mail) claim Neymar rented a mansion in Mangaratiba on Rio’s Green […]

    5 years ago

  • PSA: Jurassic Park will leave Netflix on New Year’s Day

    PSA: Jurassic Park will leave Netflix on New Year’s Day

    Life finds a way – but Netflix doesn’t Christmas is a time for giving, and being with the ones you love. But it is also a time for watching lots of films. Classic films in particular. Classic films that you have seen a million times before, but you still end up watching in a nostalgic […]

    5 years ago