As if you needed another reason to get the pints in.
Once upon a time a rapper called Ice Cube experienced a day that was so good, so pure and so life-affirming that he decided to write a song about it: future American national anthem "It Was a Good Day".
But I think today may have just topped it.
Scientists believe that drinking two glasses of beer or wine a day "slashes your risk of dying young by a fifth."
The news comes from a genuine study based on data from 14,000 people aged between 55 and 100, who researchers have tracked for up to 37 years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4UqMyldS7Q
It's aim was to find out the lifestyle trends that have kept people living longer.
And the key was pints. Lots of big frothy pints. Or... not exactly... but they did find that two glasses of wine or beer a day reduces your risk of an early death by 18%.
The very best part is they haven't even specified what size the glasses should be. They have very foolishly not told us what size glasses we are talking about here. The idiots. The stupid, wonderful, beautiful, idiots.
I will now be having precisely two steins a day, one with breakfast and one immediately after breakfast. This is way, way better than Ice Cube having sex and then not being shot in South Central.
https://twitter.com/JOE_co_uk/status/932349512038961153
The results of the study were presented at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science.
And advance science they did, revealing that other than drinking beer, a daily routine that includes drinking two cups of coffee and doing at least 15 minutes of exercise will also cut your chance of a premature death, by 10 to 11%.
Perhaps even more surprisingly they found that two hours of a non-sporting hobby a day such as gardening, reading or board games, i.e some of the worst hobbies, will reduce your likelihood of dying early by 21%.
Study leader Professor Claudia Kawas, from the University of California, stated that "People should try to incorporate as many of these habits into their day to give themselves the best chance of living to a ripe age."
I, for one, will be following her advice to the letter.
Apart from the gardening. I'm not doing any gardening. I will be doing exactly zero gardening.
