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Fitness & Health

29th Mar 2016

29 Golden gym rules you should never break

The people have spoken...

Richard Beech

We asked JOE readers which gym behaviours should be banned worldwide, and we’ve ended up with a list of golden rules for the gym.

Here’s what, according to British gym-goers, you should never, ever do in the gym:

1. “Monopolise every single bench by putting your jumper/bottle/discarded dumbells around as if to mark out your territory.”

2. “Grunt loudly before you’ve even started the set.”

3. “Lift up your vest to check out your abs in the mirror, even though you definitely have a mirror at home.”

4. “Take a selfie of your abs in the mirror to set as your new Tinder profile picture.”

5. “Loudly discuss the events of your Friday night out with your mates, while each leaning on pieces of equipment, meaning nobody else can use them.”

6. “Talk to yourself while doing reps.”

7. “Be on your phone while spotting.”

8. “Be on your phone while using any piece of gym equipment.”

Guy using phone at the gym

(via YouTube)

9. “Dish out advice that definitely sounds like it’s wrong.”

10. “Leave rivers of crack sweat on machine seats so the next user needs a Hazmat suit to work out safely.”

11. “Do one extra rep than the guy before you just to, y’know, show him.”

12. “Don’t re-rack the weights… even though you literally just displayed that you can lift the weight 30 times.”

13. “Wear flip-flops”

14. “Be barefoot”

15. “Stand between a bench which is being used, and the mirror, so the person using it can’t see their form.”

16. “Bench in the squat rack.”

17. “Wear shorts that are so short they are probably banned in some countries.”

18. “Pace around in between sets and rap along to the Marshall Mathers LP on your iPhone.”

19. “Start a conversation with a stranger. We’re British, we just want to work out in miserable, silent peace, and then go home.”

20. “Slam the weight(s) down on the floor so hard that it registers on the Richter scale.”

21. “Wear full football kit.”

22. “Count while loudly exhaling like Ron Burgundy.”

23. “Shadow box. Full stop.”

24. “Stare at people, for ages. Like… absolutely ages.”

25. “Ask people if they have many sets left when they are clearly on their first rep of their first set.”

26. “Wear a vest that doesn’t cover your nipples.”

27. “Change the weight on a machine before you leave it so it looks like you’ve done a higher weight.”

28. “Make a huge deal of putting the weight up on a machine when you use it so everyone can see what a legend you are.”

29. “Make every single day ‘bicep day’, and only do ‘leg day’ once a year.”

Read more: There are two types of food you should avoid if you want a six pack.

(Main image by Rene Cunningham/Creative Commons/JOE UK).