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Comedy

25th Nov 2021

Preacher says reptile masked as her husband tried to have sex with her

Danny Jones

Preacher claims she resisted sex from reptile masked as her husband

She asked the imposter, ‘who are you?’

A woman on an online TV show has claimed that a reptile masked as her husband Derek tried to have sex with her whilst her real partner was lying right next to her. Totally reasonable claim.

Preacher Sharon Gilbert was appearing on the religious The Jim Bakker Show online, which styles itself as ‘Prophetic End Time News’ – because of course it does.

While we wouldn’t hang our hat on too many ‘news’ stories birthed from this particular outlet, this tall tale is certainly worth watching. You can see the full clip here:

As you can see, Gilbert claims that one night “another Derek” sat up next to her in bed and she immediately suspected that it was not her husband. “I asked this critter ‘who are you?’ because he clearly wanted to have sexual relations,” she explained.

It gets better.

Not only does Gilbert say that the creature continued to try and have intercourse with her but, apparently, he also “had the nerve to claim to be ‘Ahasuerus’, Xerxes” – you know, the Persian king most people will have first heard of from that film 300?

The televangelist goes on to say that Dere—sorry, Xerxes, wanted to invite her to “use [her] free will” and do something that would “pull [her] away from God.”

Perhaps the most alarming thing about this entire story (beyond people actually believing it) was that she seems to suggest it happened more than once, adding that the last time this possessed lizard man tried to copulate with her, she had an “internal dialogue […] in my mind” as she told him no one last time.

Finally, the story ends as Gilbert says she reached up, grabbed the creature’s face and, just as she declared “you are a liar and Jesus is real”, it was revealed to be a reptile masked as her husband.

Oh yeah – and she also claims that there were “little halfling creatures” with him this time, comparing them to “gargoyles”.

Well that was some ride, wasn’t it? In fact, even the presenters of this eschatological experience quickly moved on after she finished.

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