Back once again for the pub quiz master D4 damager, power to the people Back once again for the pub quiz master D4 damager, with the ill behaviour Those aren’t my words, but the slightly altered words of Eddie Castellanos, aka A.D.O.R., sampled Roger McKenzie, aka Wildchild. Why are they the intro to this week’s Pub Quiz? Because […]

6 years ago

Why is the hyper-enthusiastic fan culture surrounding the gangster drama attracting such ire from other corners? Today I received an email. This, as a singular event, is obviously quite unremarkable. Unfortunately, it was the sheer scale of horror contained within this particular email that makes it noteworthy. Today, a day that started out like many […]

6 years ago

The quantum physics thought experiment of a quite good footballer who isn’t actually very good at all In Batman Forever Jim Carrey’s Riddler called Batman’s mind “the greatest riddle of all”. At the very start of World War 2, Winston Churchill said something similar about Stalin’s Russia, describing the country as a “riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma”. Is […]

6 years ago

How different it all could have been, with only a miraculous reflex save from Alisson preventing Liverpool from crashing out of the Champions League at the group stages last December Instead, they faced every football fan’s Italian sweethearts Napoli, both as reigning European champions and – yeah, sorry – the single best team in Europe […]

6 years ago

I don’t know how else to start this other than by saying Norwich City manager Daniel Farke looks like a disgruntled IT technician called upon once too often to reset a password or block Miniclip.com Regardless of appearances – he also looks like a roadie for a moderately successful European heavy metal outfit – the […]

6 years ago

A Jetro Willems bolt from the blue gave Liverpool cause for concern in the first half before Sadio Mane hit back in equally triumphant fashion. After that, well, Liverpool were inevitable You’d be forgiven for being taken slightly aback at the way Jetro Willems collected a pass from Christian Atsu, chop-shimmied inside a startled Trent […]

6 years ago

This is the 156th edition of the infamously notorious and notoriously infamous JOE Friday Pub Quiz And the quizmaster isn’t here. I don’t know where he (Rich Cooper) is. Rumour has it that all the years of designing quizzes, these quizzes you lot hold so dear, round after round after round and question after question […]

6 years ago

6 years ago

Questions were asked when Aston Villa stumped up £20 million to sign the defender permanently. There are no such questions anymore During the pre-game warmup at Villa Park on Friday night, Tyrone Mings pulled up after sprinting and began holding his groin. He looked in visible discomfort. Gary Neville, who was presenting a pitchside segment […]

7 years ago

The ten nominees for this year’s Puskas award have been revealed Another year, another set of bangers. Goals from Ajara Nchout, Matheus Cunha, Andros Townsend, Fabio Quagliarella, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Amy Rodriguez, Billie Simpson, Daniel Zsori, Juan Fernando Quintero and of course, Lionel Messi. We will all have a standout favourite on that list and we […]

7 years ago

It was a tale of two halves at Molineux Much of Wolverhampton Wanderers’ success last season came as a result of the instinctive combination play between their two forwards – Raul Jimenez and Diogo Jota. In the Europa League qualifiers Nuno’s team are currently breezing through, they have continued that form. In the first half, […]

7 years ago

Ashley Cole has retired from football and the tributes have poured in, as they typically do Well actually, they have trickled in. They have hung and drooped and slowly fallen onto our timelines like dead leaves. Given all that Cole was as a player, though, it all seems lacklustre. Underwhelming. Uninspiring. Maybe it was the […]

7 years ago

Kevin De Bruyne is still the best passer of a football in the world. And yet it wasn’t enough So it goes on. The Manchester City freight train tearing through the Premier League team-by-team. Even Spurs, so often a bogey side for Guardiola, were helpless. They could do nothing but succumb to the steamrolling, despite […]

7 years ago

Dani Ceballos was imperious on his Arsenal debut How fitting that one of the most technically gifted midfielders the Emirates has seen in a long time is only here for a season. How very Arsenal. Let’s not go overboard, though. Pirouetting around Ashley Westwood for 80 minutes is hardly the most monumental of achievements. Even […]

7 years ago

From the Mysterious Dwarfs to the Red Imps, it’s time to test your knowledge of obscure football teams from around the globe I don’t know about you, but I love glancing at some random football scores in a far-off country and seeing a wonderfully-named team I had never previously heard of. Honestly. The day I […]

7 years ago

“It’s Shunsuke Nakamura you fucking dough ball” … “Ok Dad” Believe it or not, Celtic’s former Japanese set-piece wizard is still going strong. Last Saturday, during a game in the J2 League (the Japanese second tier), Nakamura took to the field alongside Kazuyoshi Miura in attack for Yokohama FC. He’s 41. Shunsuke Nakamura is 41 […]

7 years ago

Full disclosure, one quiz simply wasn’t enough As you will no doubt know, we have already done a ‘name the Rick & Morty character’ quiz at JOE. You might, might have even taken it yesterday. If you did, well done. Hats off. If you didn’t… what the fuck are you playing at? Here it is. Take […]

7 years ago

Leeds United’s new Amazon documentary doesn’t start how it means to go on (and that can only be a good thing) Take Us Home: Leeds United starts as all football documentaries, and indeed, sports documentaries, seem to now as heavily filtered, grey overlay slow-mo footage of  matches is interlaced with closeup shots of supporters clutching […]

7 years ago

Premier League newcomers Aston Villa were unfortunate to lose 3-1 to Tottenham Hotspur on Saturday They lead for a long stretch of the game thanks to a wonderfully taken goal by John McGinn and, right up until the introduction of Christian Eriksen, looked comfortable keeping Spurs at bay. Unfortunately, this is the Premier League and […]

7 years ago

How well do you remember these lesser characters from the first three seasons of the show? Due to its fast and loose nature, there are many characters that come and go in Rick & Morty. Some are more rogue than others. Some are also far more memorable. That’s why Pickle Rick isn’t here. Do you remember […]

7 years ago

Manchester United and Chelsea are two teams still coming to grips with new identities What is clear, though, is that being able to break the world transfer records for a centre back and full back definitely speeds up the acclimatising process. Chelsea started brightly in Frank Lampard’s first Premier League game as a manager away […]

7 years ago

As the rain beat down on St. James’ Park, a sodden Steve Bruce furrowed his brow and yelled instructions at his players. The commentator asked: “Is this so much different to watching a Rafa Benitez side?” Squint your eyes and no, probably not. Newcastle were tight and compact without the ball, keeping everyone but Joelinton […]

7 years ago

Three lousy wins, 17 lousy points, 27 lousy goals and the worst individual season in one historic club’s long, illustrious history: Welcome, to 2015/16 Villa, revisited Let me take you back. The year was 2015, long before Billie Eilish was a thing, or The Athletic had launched in America, or Britain had voted to leave […]

7 years ago

Hello and welcome to yet another edition of the world-famous JOE Friday Pub Quiz The Cambridge English dictionary defines a pub quiz as “a quiz (= a competition in which you answer questions) held in a pub between teams of players”. Whilst not quite being as established an authority on the English language as I would like, I define it as something pretty similar. You’re probably wondering, […]

7 years ago

Not since the now sacrosanct ‘Purple Dildo Deadline Day’ in 2015 have we had more of a nonsense Do you remember? Do you remember poor Sky Sports journalist Alan Irvine getting prodded in the ear with a big purple dildo whilst he was stood outside Everton’s offices and trying to report on the free-agent signing […]

7 years ago

McVitie’s and Mind are encouraging the nation to get together over a biscuit and a cuppa and get talking. To find out more click here People will often complain that the art of conversation is dying. You’ll have no doubt heard it yourself – someone from an older generation telling you that young people simply don’t […]

7 years ago

All prices in Euros. Why? Because the pound is dying, you fools And also because I’m too lazy to convert them. Hello, and welcome to yet another JOE football quiz. In honour of Slabhead breaking the world record transfer fee for a defender, 80 million Great British pounds no less, this one is all about, […]

7 years ago

7 years ago

Nerves? What nerves? You’d forgive Leeds United supporters for feeling somewhat apprehensive ahead of their first Championship fixture of the season and the last of the opening weekend in the football league before Huddersfield play Derby on Monday. Lee Johnson’s Bristol City are a difficult proposition at Ashton Gate at the best of times, let […]

7 years ago

Ah, the Community Shield. The curtain-raiser. The ‘nice day out for the family’. The ‘corporate shill of an event’. The ‘little more than a pre-season friendly’. The ‘there is a trophy at stake, though’ Show me a football fan that knows what to make of the Community Shield and I will show you a liar. […]

7 years ago

The self-perpetuated legend of a 37-year-old man still pretending to be a god, or a lion, or in any way remotely interesting There’s a story Zlatan likes to tell, one of him arriving in North London as a 17-year-old Malmö player and refusing to trial for Arsene Wenger and Arsenal because, and let me just […]

7 years ago

In partnership with The Woodsman Whisky Yes, you heard that right. A whisky vending machine. A WHISKY VENDING MACHINE You might, might, just have noticed the heatwave that recently consumed these typically sodden isles over the last few weeks, one that culminated in a bone-meltingly ridiculous 38C day on July 25. Britain, of course, responded in […]

7 years ago

With Monaco reportedly close to signing the German defender for £27 million, it’s only fitting Arsenal fans give him the send-off he deserves All these things about Shkodran Mustafi are, somehow, simultaneously true: He is a World Cup winner with Germany, starting one match and coming on twice as a substitute during the 2014 tournament and […]

7 years ago

From Liverpool Twitter overanalysing a pre-season friendly defeat to the Arsenal board pretending they don’t have any money only to bid £72 million for Nicolas Pepe, the world of football is collectively losing its mind, right on cue We’ve done it. We’ve arrived. The Premier League season is almost upon us and with it comes […]

7 years ago

Real Madrid pulling the plug on Gareth Bale’s proposed move to Jiangsu Suning in the Chinese Super League was depressingly inevitable Just imagine the boardroom meeting to give the transfer the final stamp of approval. Fiorentino Perez: “So Bale has actually AGREED to the move?” Zidane: “He has.” Perez: “Wow. Incredible. And they’re paying his […]

7 years ago

Full marks are within reach here.

7 years ago

There’s nothing quite like a nickname that sticks Whilst the NBA does, unfortunately, lay claim to having the best nicknames in sports (don’t argue with me on this, Google them instead) and the NFL once boasted a player nicknamed “The Refrigerator” due to his size and body shape (real name William Perry), football still has […]

7 years ago

Sead Kolašinac bobbing up and down in a boxing stance whilst fending off knife-wielding attackers in motorcycle helmets is undoubtedly the mood of the summer If there is a single member of the Arsenal squad qualified to operate as the burly protector to Mesut Özil, it’s Sead Kolašinac. In fact, it might only be Sead Kolašinac. I mean, […]

7 years ago

And yet nothing predicted here will come close to being as outlandish as a Vincent Kompany 25-yard thunderbastard in the penultimate game of the season to basically win City the title The 2019/20 Premier League season is only three weeks away. Without regular Prem action, the country has descended beyond even the endless farce it […]

7 years ago

“Shut your noise you fucking old c***” – Alan Pardew In the world of football we’re blessed with eloquent managers. Real charismatic wordsmiths who can eke out profound sentence after sentence, each one wiser than the last. To celebrate the fact, I have designed this simple quiz. All you have to do is match the […]

7 years ago

If you picked Eddy Gordo you were a shithouse. I was, unfortunately, a shithouse (on occasion). It was funny. I don’t care I have to be completely honest here: several Tekken games hold a special place in my heart. In fact, my heart has actually been completely erased by Tekken. I no longer have a heart. I […]

7 years ago

James Milner called the challenge “a disgrace” which is the first time James Milner has called anything a disgrace in his entire life. He was once very, very displeased about the amount of peri salt he was given on his chips in Nando’s but even then he couldn’t quite bring himself to call it a […]

7 years ago

Andy Warhol once said that art is “what you can get away with” – I’m not sure this is what he had in mind First of all, a big thank you to Twitter user Charlie Bruce for drawing our attention to this, quite possibly the worst scene in the history of television. Without his tireless […]

7 years ago

The perfect antidote to a disappointing final season of the show The first book of George R. R. Martin’s series of epic fantasy novels, A Game of Thrones, was originally published in 1996, 15 years before the HBO show arrived on our televisions and took over the world. This was the book that started it all; […]

7 years ago

Novak Djokovic, by any measure, is one of the best tennis players there has ever been. Why don’t we adore him? Given that he is still just 32 years of age and is now only two Grand Slam titles behind Nadal and four behind Federer on the all-time list, it isn’t beyond the realms of […]

7 years ago

The appointment of Steve Bruce is the surest sign yet that even a 17th place finish this season would be beyond Mike Ashley’s wildest dreams In his debut season in charge of that other giant football club in Tyne and Wear, Steve Bruce went on a run of 14 games without a victory. Following a […]

7 years ago

‘More than a club’ they say. They certainly spend more For all the talk of the frivolous spending of the two Manchester teams and indeed, their historic La Liga rivals Real Madrid, it is Barcelona who have blown everyone out the water in terms of total transfer spending over the course of the last five […]

7 years ago

Do you remember when John Fashanu was replaced by Jeremy Guscott in the final seasons? DO YOU? This is a quiz. A Gladiators quiz. The premise is simple. There is a picture of a Gladiator and a choice of names. Pick the actual name of the Gladiator and not the two cleverly designed trick answers. If you […]

7 years ago

A quiz in honour of Crouchy Peter Crouch announced his retirement from football on Friday and tributes quickly poured in for everyone’s favourite gangly, breadstick-limbed striker. Like this one, from former Middlesbrough midfielder Marten De Roon. Congrats on a beautiful career @petercrouch. Though we didn’t play a lot against each other, I’ll cherish our photos […]

7 years ago

In partnership with Primula If you don’t like cheese you are, quite frankly, a heathen There are few things quite like the Great British love of cheese. Whether on toast or cracker or biscuit. With wine or without. On a plate or wooden board or simply the entire wheel, sweating, eaten straight out of your […]

7 years ago