Well now you can say he lifted the Champions League trophy from his knees, not his hips like the modern footballer They did it. Liverpool won their sixth Champions League trophy on Saturday night, beating Tottenham Hotspur 2-0 at the Wanda Metropolitano stadium in Madrid. As a result, Jordan Henderson became just the fourth Liverpool […]

7 years ago

‘Allez, Allez, Allez’ has always been a danger for mobile phones Liverpool had an open-top bus tour through the city on Sunday to celebrate a sixth Champions League title after their 2-0 win over Tottenham Hotspur. As you can imagine, the club’s supporters were out lining the streets in great numbers, singing and cheering their […]

7 years ago

Liverpool have won the Champions League, haven’t they? They’re absolutely fucking buzzing, aren’t they? Come child, let us take a look at the #scenes and the #limbs. First up: the bus is very, very wonky. Please also note the fact that Alberton Moreno has managed to nab himself a prime spot at the front, the […]

7 years ago

Jurgen has had a shandy We cannot really stress enough just how great Jurgen Klopp has been since winning the Champions League on Saturday night, his very first trophy with Liverpool. We’ve had him singing the Liverpool version of ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’ by Salt-N-Pepa in a post-match presser. We’ve had him, 20 minutes after […]

7 years ago

7 years ago

What a bloke Liverpool have won their sixth European Cup. Jordan Henderson lifted the trophy like a man possessed. Dejan Lovren has a fucking Champions League medal. Now Jurgen Klopp is singing 90s hip-hop classics in his post-match interview. Honestly, however good that game actually was, what a night it has been. This, though, is […]

7 years ago

You always felt that the Champions League would be decided by Moussa Sissoko’s armpit Just 26 seconds of the game had elapsed by the time that Sadio Mane had fired a cross, or a shot, or just a cynical attempt to win a penalty under the new UEFA rules, into the body of Moussa Sissoko. […]

7 years ago

The unbearable lightness of winning I’ve been thinking about a German phrase, Einmal ist Keinmal, that translates as ‘once is never’. I read it in a book. It means whatever happens once might as well never have happened at all. It means that, ultimately, one incident is not significant. Once is nothing. Tomas, one of four […]

7 years ago

Let’s take a trip down memory lane, Spurs fans… So this is it, Tottenham versus Liverpool tonight at the Wanda Metropolitano in the Champions League final, and the chance for Mauricio Pochettino to give Spurs their first trophy since the 2008 Carling Cup. And of course, win himself a very first trophy in management. What […]

7 years ago

Europe’s most active volcano lit up the sky on Thursday night Streams of lava were photographed shooting into the Italian night sky on Thursday as Mount Etna erupted. The volcano – which is both Europe’s highest and most active – began erupting at 3am local time, billowing smoke and pouring lava. As you can see, […]

7 years ago

Klopp: “Hahahaha… same haircut like today! I like that” This is the content you need before a Champions League final. Let me just say that. If you’re feeling nervous, this is all you need: big, smiley, happy Jurgen Klopp looking at the baby pictures of James Milner and Virgil van Dijk and giving them a […]

7 years ago

Olivier Giroud doesn’t appear too concerned with burning any bridges Chelsea beat Arsenal 4-1 in the Europa League final on Wednesday, with none other than former Gunners striker Olivier Giroud opening the scoring for the Blues with a wonderful diving header into the bottom corner. He chose not to celebrate at the time given his […]

7 years ago

Friendship ended with John Cleese, now Elton John is my best friend Elton John has launched a blistering attack on Brexit and English attitudes to Europe during a concert the Rocketman was playing in Verona, Italy this week. Addressing the crowd before performing his 1995 hit ‘Believe’, Sir Elton said: “I am sick to death […]

7 years ago

One Aston Villa fan’s experience of the biggest game in football, forced to watch from the Derby County end. With his boss. 8:00am I feel sick. I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick. Water, now. Water. Water from this pint glass on my bedside cabinet. It is warm. The water is […]

7 years ago

The Brexit party aren’t far behind them A new national YouGov poll conducted for The Times has shown strong gains made by the Liberal Democrats, who, according to the results, would win the general election if it were held tomorrow. It is only the second occasion that a party other than Labour and the Conservatives […]

7 years ago

Cesc Fabregas becomes the latest pundit to publicly lambast Mesut Ozil It may not mean much to Arsenal supporters now, but Monaco midfielder and occasional BT Sport football pundit Cesc Fabregas might just know a thing or two about leading the Gunners on the pitch. After all, he made his debut for the club at […]

7 years ago

The boy is back in town Antonio Conte is back, baby, after being appointed as manager of Serie A side Inter Milan following a year out from football. The 49-year-old back-three enthusiast returns after being sacked as Chelsea manager at the end of the 2017/18 season, despite winning the FA Cup in his final game […]

7 years ago

Oh my word Ben Stokes, stop that We here at JOE are very, very fond of cricket, hence our brand new show presented by none other than former England bowler Graeme Swann, which you can watch here. Or, if podcasts are more your thing, subscribe to here. 🏏 JOE Presents Swanny's Cricket Show with @SwannyG66 […]

7 years ago

It had been rumoured that Ramos had requested a free transfer away from the club he has played for since 2005 Sergio Ramos held a press conference today to clarify his future at Real Madrid after it had been reported earlier this week that he had held a meeting with club president Fiorentino Perez and […]

7 years ago

Hollywood beckons A film starring Manchester United forward Alexis Sanchez is being released in his native Chile on Thursday. Entitled Mi Amigo Alexis, the motion picture tells the story of a 12-year-old boy called Tito who, in fortuitous circumstances, ends up meeting his footballing idol – Alexis Sanchez. Helmed by an award-winning Chilean director known for […]

7 years ago

A man who set himself on fire outside the White House in Washington DC on Wednesday has died from his injuries The man who set himself on fire outside the White House has died, according to police reports. He has since been named as Arnav Gupta and was taken to the hospital on Wednesday where […]

7 years ago

Maurizio Sarri won his first major trophy in almost 20 years of professional coaching with Chelsea’s victory in the Europa League final on Wednesday night Chelsea beat Arsenal 4-1 on Wednesday to lift the Europa League and hand Maurizio Sarri his first ever major trophy as a football manager. Unless you’re counting the Serie D […]

7 years ago

He didn’t celebrate when he opened the scoring. On the team bus it was a different story Chelsea beat Arsenal 4-1 in the Europa League final on Wednesday night thanks to a brace from Eden Hazard, in what appears to be his final game for the Blues, and a goal each from Giroud and Pedro. […]

7 years ago

The lesson, as always: Really good idea to bring full kit, just in case you want to lift the trophy and piss everyone off How many games has Rob Green played for Chelsea? That’s a very good question, strange voice I can somehow hear reading this article. He has played 0 games in total for […]

7 years ago

If the pre-match ceremony was anything to go by, this wasn’t going to be much of an occasion in Baku But enough about all that. Let’s talk about the football. The thing we can all agree to try and enjoy no matter what moral, ethical, and political quandaries present themselves to us. The opening exchanges […]

7 years ago

The deal would allow the richest nation on earth to enter English football for the first time Qatar Sports Investments (QSI), a state-backed group founded by the emir of Qatar, Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani, are in talks to buy a stake in Leeds United, according to The Financial Times. The deal would allow the […]

7 years ago

The man covers his boots in Pritt Stick Bayern Munich beat RB Leipzig 3-0 in the DFB-Pokal final on Saturday thanks to two typical Robert Lewandowski finishes and a sublime piece of individual skill from French winger Kingsley Coman. In the end, the scoreline flattered Bayern, with Leipzig bravely pressing the Bavarians throughout and arguably […]

7 years ago

What a day for Neil Lennon Celtic made history on Saturday after beating Heart of Midlothian 2-1 in the Scottish Cup Final, becoming the first Scottish team to win nine domestic trophies in a row – the treble treble. The win came via two goals from French striker Odsonne Edouard after Hearts midfielder Ryan Edwards […]

7 years ago

Mike Dean loves Tranmere Rovers even more than loves Mike Dean Say what you will about Mike Dean the referee, the man who turns the most important games between the best sides in England into his own personal audition for Strictly Come Dancing. Say whatever you like. “He ruins the games.” Sure, if you want. “Mike […]

7 years ago

Celtic have won an unprecedented nine trophies in a row in Scotland Celtic beat Hearts 2-1 at Hampden Park today thanks to two goals from Odsonne Edouard to secure an unprecedented ninth trophy in a row in Scotland – a treble Treble. As you’d expect, the likes of Neil Lennon, Scott Brown and Mikael Lustig […]

7 years ago

CC: Jurgen Klopp Cast your mind back to the summer transfer window last year and you will know that Lyon’s captain and talisman, Nabil Fekir, was very close to joining Liverpool prior to the World Cup. That was, of course, before the club reportedly pulled the plug on the move due to concerns over the […]

7 years ago

The striker is available on a free this summer Danny Welbeck, who you may or may not know better as ‘Dat Guy Welbz’, will leave Arsenal on a free transfer this summer, with Everton leading the pack of clubs interested in the striker. According to the Evening Standard, Everton are in pole position to sign […]

7 years ago

Theresa May has resigned as prime minister and now we must choose her replacement from a list even more sloppy, underwhelming and disappointing than the final series of Game of Thrones The next prime minister will (very likely) come from the following list: Boris Johnson, Dominic Raab, Jeremy Hunt, Andrea Leadsom, Michael Gove, Penny Mordaunt, […]

7 years ago

Philippe Mexes was another target. Just imagine the outrageous bicycle kicks he could have scored at Old Trafford Sir Alex Ferguson’s transfer target list from 2004 has been unearthed on Reddit and it features a number of interesting little gems. The main one being that Fergie wanted Manchester City captain Vincent Kompany – who is […]

7 years ago

25,000 jobs are now at risk British Steel, who employ 5,000 people and thousands more in the supply chain, has entered insolvency after emergency funding talks with the government failed. Those 5,000 jobs are now at risk, along with a further 20,000 jobs in the company’s supply chain. The business secretary, Greg Clark, issued a […]

7 years ago

A battle as old as time itself: good versus evil, light versus darkness, the green peppers versus the red tomatoes Let me ask you: remember Ainsley Harriott? The TV chef who turned ‘just grinning a lot and rubbing his hands together’ into an art form? Yeah? Really, really into drizzling olive oil? Like a bit too […]

7 years ago

Well, at least you’ve got Sergio Romero David De Gea has rejected Manchester United’s final contract and now looks set to leave the club this summer according to reports. The Spanish international, who has had his poorest run of form this season since joining the club, has a contract that runs until next summer, meaning […]

7 years ago

The UK uses 4.7 billion plastic straws per year Plastic straws, plastic drink stirrers and cotton buds with plastic stems will be banned from sale and use in the UK by April next year, the government has confirmed. Following the ban, food and drink outlets will be unable to display plastic straws or provide them […]

7 years ago

There is one condition, however. That condition being he won’t actually be captain Paul Pogba is set to be offered a captaincy role at Manchester United next season by boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer as current club captain Antonio Valencia leaves the team this summer after a decade spent at Old Trafford. The bad news for […]

7 years ago

What a season of Game of Thrones it has been: full of highs and lows, mostly lows, in fact a season almost exclusively made up of lows, just crushing disappointment after crushing disappointment until you just wish Flanders was dead, but one that was, at least, never short on drama or controversy. Or stupid shit like a […]

7 years ago

The original set was in Dubrovnik, Croatia, but the show’s producers didn’t want ‘to burn it down’ For anyone that saw ‘The Bells’ – the penultimate episode of the final series of Game of Thrones and the lowest rated of the show’s to date – you’ll know that, even if it was perhaps underwhelming from a […]

7 years ago

Yaya, Yaya Yaya, Yaya Yaya, Yaya Yaya, Toure – LAST FRIDAY – According to Yaya Toure’s agent, the former Manchester City midfielder has informally retired from the game. Dimitri Seluk told members of the press: “Yaya has decided to end his career as a champion.” “The farewell match which Manchester City gave him was, in […]

7 years ago

Arsenal have released a strongly-worded statement regarding the lowly allocation they have been given for the Europa League final Arsenal play Chelsea in the Europa League final on May 29th in Azerbaijan’s Baku Olympic Stadium. As it stands, only 6,000 of their fans will be in attendance due to UEFA’s controversial division of the matchday […]

7 years ago

He was Chelsea’s best player during the semi-final tie against Eintracht Frankfurt and will now likely miss the final Chelsea midfielder Ruben Loftus-Cheek could be out for at least six months after rupturing his Achilles tendon during the club’s charity friendly match against New England Revolution. The 23-year-old England international went down in the first […]

7 years ago

An investigation into the club’s financial activity began in March Manchester City have been referred to the UEFA Club Financial Control Body adjudicatory chamber for a potential breach of financial fair play rules. The Club Financial Control Body (CFCB) chief investigator has referred the club to the adjudicatory chamber following the conclusion of an investigation that […]

7 years ago

At the time of writing it has over 250,000 signatures A Game of Thrones fan has started a petition on Change.org to ‘Remake Game of Thrones Season 8 with competent writers’ that has garnered over a quarter of a million signatures at the time of writing. Started by ‘Dylan D’, suitably using the image of […]

7 years ago

Here is the shirt Phil Jones will be covering in grass stains from unnecessarily falling over next season Adidas football have released the Manchester United home shirt for the upcoming 19/20 Premier League season, celebrating 20 years since their famous treble, as well as an exquisitely rogue goalkeeper number for Davide De Gea to look […]

7 years ago

Super, super Frank It’s difficult to say whether Leeds United bottled it on Wednesday night in their play-off semi-final second leg against Derby County. Oh no, wait. No it isn’t. It isn’t at all. They bottled it. They completely and utterly bottled it. It was a staggering bottlejob. A bottlejob of epic proportions. A monumental […]

7 years ago

You have got to respect this lad’s commitment A college athlete named – and I’m not making this up – Infinite Tucker risked it all over the weekend to win the 400m hurdles at the 2019 SEC Track & Field Championships in America. Tucker, representing Texas A&M University, was neck and neck with his teammate […]

7 years ago

It was reported that Aguero said the winner of the award should come from one of the two Champions League finalists Manchester City striker Sergio Aguero has taken to Twitter to clarify a statement he made about the potential winner of the Ballon d’Or. Aguero was reported as saying that the winner of the award, […]

7 years ago