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30th Jul 2018

The Tories are giving away Love Island-style water bottles that slag off Jeremy Corbyn

Wil Jones

Imagine the scene

You sassily stroll into your college, university or place of employment. You flip your hair back, take a sip of water, and wink seductively. Everyone stops and stares. Their jaws drop. Your crush looks impressed.

What’s that you are drinking from? Why yes, this is my limited-edition The Conservative Party X Love Island water bottle. You instantly gain 5000 Popularity XP.

Ok, let’s back up. So tonight is the final of Love Island, and either you are going to watch it, or you are just really hoping it means that Piers Morgan might shut up about it now.

Well, that’s what most normal people are doing. However, if you are a strategists for the Conservative Party, you are thinking about how you can use this pop cultural event that you have only read about in The Spectator thinkpieces, and never actually seen, into some way of getting #engagement with that all important #millennial electoral vote.

So, in their infinite wisdom, they are giving away water bottles like the ones they have on Love Island, with “Don’t let Corbyn mug you off” on them.

Because “mugged off” is a thing they say on Love Island, get it?

Literally, you could not get any more Steve-Buscemi-with-a-skateboard-saying-How-Do-You-Do-Fellow-Kids if you tried.

And how do you get one of these son-to-be-coveted items? Register your details on the Conservatives website – oh yes, they are definitely getting your data – and you will in with a “chance” of winning one . The site says “With just a limited number available, winners will be chosen at random,” so we don’t know how many they’ve actually bothered to make.

This stunt has left people rather, well confused.

Can’t wait for Jacob Rees-Mogg to start talking about playing “The Fortnites” next week.