A burger van in Wales is selling this heart attack in a loaf

Please never eat this

We’ve covered a lot of interesting food stories recently. And when I say interesting, what I actually mean is, you sort of look at these absolute monstrosities and think “What the fuck? Who would eat that?” or, alternatively, you’re one of those people who looks at them and thinks “Yeah. Yeah I could eat that. Yeah I want to eat that. Let me eat that. Fuck my arteries. GIVE IT TO ME.”

So far we have had:

• A 2,000 calorie deep-fried Mars bar calzone
• A chippy tea pizza
• A Full English out of a slow-cooker
• Pete Doherty putting away a ‘Mega Breakfast’ eating challenge in under 20 minutes

And finally, the last level boss of this particular waistband enhancing genre of article:

• This 7,000 calorie box of nonsense

There might, however, be a new challenger, in the form of this loaf of bread filled with, well, just about everything.

Created by Rolling Rolls, a burger van based in Bridgeland, Wales, the meal(s) is essentially a Full English breakfast sort of encased in a tomb of white bread.

Beans?

You’ve got it.

Bacon?

You’ve got it.

Sausages?

You’ve got it.

Black pudding?

£2 extra, but you’ve got it.

Eggs?

You’ve got it.

Hash Browns?

You’ve got it.

A big fuck off loaf of bread to house the whole menagerie?

You’ve fucking got it, pal. That’ll be a tenner, no, £12 with the extra black puddings. Do you want me to start dialling 9s now or shall I just wait until you’re finished? Up to you. I’d take you to A&E in the burger van myself but I’ve got loads of other victims, sorry, customers waiting.