16 things we learned from the new Jersey Shore trailer

Cabs are here!

To the delight of maybe fourteen people worldwide, Jersey Shore is back. MTV dropped a trailer for the new series and it's every bit as cringe as you'd expect. https://twitter.com/JerseyShore/status/974448160889344000 The new series kicks off on 5th April, on a 'Jerzday', but luckily we've been gifted some nuggets of Jersey Shore gold to keep us going in the meantime. Here's some important things we learned from the trailer.

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1. The boys still look the exact same With the exception of Vinny's beard, these are physically the exact same men that they were in 2009. Nobody has gotten insanely fat or bald, yet.   2. Ronnie now points at people while they're talking It's a fun new personality quirk that many of us are looking forward to seeing how it develops.   3. We're probably going to see a 'Drunk Bitch' or two in the new series I mean, it's a teaser trailer. Does this image allude to the fact that there will be many a drunk bitch appearing on the new series of Jersey Shore? Yes, absolutely.   4. JWoww dances like a Mum at a wedding now Given that most of the cast are married / engaged / parents now, it's unfortunate that we're not going to see the same level of insanity that peak Jersey Shore contained.   5. RONNIE IS GOING TO BE A DAD BUT NOT WITH SAMMI Never again will we get to hear the piercing shrieks of 'RAHN, STAHP!' on Jersey Shore. RIP Rammi x   6. Pauly D tells us that they're going harder than they've ever gone before As if the wine glasses filled with various juices and bootcut jeans weren't enough of an indicator.   7. YOU BETTER BELIEVE THESE BOYS STILL HIT THE GYM HARD Look at Mike and Vinny playing toss. Their physiques have never looked better.   8. The Situation now uses a brand of hairspray called 'Sexy' Of bloodywell course he does.   9. Snooki still can't balance for shit If she ever learns to counteract the effects of gravity, it will be a dark day for fans of watching people falling over.   10. Not sure what the fuck is happening here tbqh Ronnie mate. You're going to be a Dad soon.   11. Snooki is still very much a woman of the people Going to bed with an extra large pizza. She gets it. She just fucking gets it.   12. JWoww has a newfound appreciation for butts? Dunno, just thought the pic was funny tbh.   13. Vinny still looks completely out of place at all times Vinny never looked comfortable in any Jersey Shore situation, so it's good to see that that's still the case.   14. Pauly D still provides more facial expressions than words Every single Jersey Shore argument was made better with the addition of DJ Pauly D's expressions as he watched the drama unfold. Good to see that that's still going to be a thing.   15. Snooki still struggles with the English language Terrific. Watch up, kids. You're the future.   16. Snooki still loves pickles Did Jersey Shore have a longer lasting love affair than Snooki and pickles? No, no it didn't.    

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Images via MTV