Nooruddean Choudry

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  • Cyprus hijack hostage situation is over; ‘It was all about a woman’

    Cyprus hijack hostage situation is over; ‘It was all about a woman’

    Thankfully, the siege situation on aircraft EgyptAir MS181 has come to an end. The Cypriot Ministry of Foreign Affairs announced that the hostage situation at Larnaca Airport had ended via a succinct and simple message on Twitter: Its over. The #hijacker arrested. #LarnacaAirport # Egyptair — Cyprus MFA (@CyprusMFA) March 29, 2016 Earlier President Nikos Anastasiades stressed that […]

    10 years ago

  • Why Dean Ashton’s wondergoal in a meaningless game was so incredibly special

    Why Dean Ashton’s wondergoal in a meaningless game was so incredibly special

    It was Mark Noble’s day, but Dean Ashton’s special moment. Over 35,000 packed into West Ham United’s famous Boleyn Ground to celebrate the ongoing (and internationally ignored) career of inspirational captain Mark Noble in his testimonial game. But perhaps the highlight of a wonderful occasion was the sight of former Hammers favourite Dean Ashton scoring a sensational overhead […]

    10 years ago

  • Hijack update: Hostages being held; hijack may be related to a domestic family issue

    Hijack update: Hostages being held; hijack may be related to a domestic family issue

    This is desperate stuff. EgyptAir flight MSR181 may have landed at Larnaca Airport in Cyprus with some passengers allowed to leave, but the danger to innocent civilians is far from over. The plane was carrying 56 passengers and 7 crew members. Women and children were allowed to leave, followed by other passengers, but reports suggest that crew […]

    10 years ago

  • Wales struggle with the most basic thing about international football

    Wales struggle with the most basic thing about international football

    Come on boys! Sort yourselves out… We suggest anyone with a respect for natural order perhaps look away now, because what you’re about to see will haunt you for the rest of the day – and well into the European Championships by the looks of things. The Welsh national team have made their country proud for a whole […]

    10 years ago

  • Barcelona’s Arda Turan mocks Arsenal with cruel burn

    Barcelona’s Arda Turan mocks Arsenal with cruel burn

    Well this is a bit uncalled for. As Ronan Keating once sang, being an Arsenal fan is a rollercoaster. Just when they think it’s definitely their season, something goes wrong post-Christmas and it all goes to pot. What they don’t need in their current tender state is a world star having a go for no reason. […]

    10 years ago

  • Roy Hodgson: ‘Drinkwater and Dier are both in Wilshere’s shadow’

    Roy Hodgson: ‘Drinkwater and Dier are both in Wilshere’s shadow’

    Two of them are pivotal powerhouse midfielders in a race for the title; the other is never fit. Whilst Danny Drinkwater and Eric Dier strain every sinew and pump every muscle in order to drive their respective sides to domestic glory, Jack Wilshere continues his perennial fight with injury. And yet according England boss Roy Hodgson, […]

    10 years ago

  • All our dreams come true as Snoop Dogg gets his own nature programme

    All our dreams come true as Snoop Dogg gets his own nature programme

    It’s happening. It’s actually happening. Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr. AKA Snoop Dogg has previously enthralled us with his hilarious narrations of the natural world. A sort of David Attenborough meets gangsta rap. Who can forget the rapper’s star turn during his ‘Plizzanet Earth’ segment on Jimmy Kimmel Live… Such was the popularly of Snoop’s venture into zoology that over 65,000 fans […]

    10 years ago

  • Is this the new face of football coverage in this country?

    Is this the new face of football coverage in this country?

    ‘Modern football is rubbish…’ It is something you read and hear all the time. The traditional fanbase grows increasingly dismayed as the national obsession becomes ever more sanitised of its natural vitality, tribalism and working-class roots. Essentially the sport is moving further away from its origins as the ardent passion of the proletariat, to becoming a form of casual entertainment […]

    10 years ago

  • Hilarious ‘Sad Affleck’ video is far more entertaining than Batman v Superman

    Hilarious ‘Sad Affleck’ video is far more entertaining than Batman v Superman

    If the eyes are truly windows to the soul, Ben Affleck’s spirit is most definitely broken. We really feel for actors and actresses who have to spend hour upon hour promoting their movies via energy-sapping press junkets. It must be tough to seem fresh and enthusiastic after being asked the same question for the 600th […]

    10 years ago

  • England announce starting lineup to face Germany…and there’s no Leicester players

    England announce starting lineup to face Germany…and there’s no Leicester players

    Tottenham may trail Leicester City by five points in the Premier League, but they lead the way in terms of starters in Roy Hodgson’s team to face Germany. England’s first XI for Saturday’s friendly in Berlin has been announced and there are four Spurs players included – Danny Rose, Dele Alli, Eric Dier and Harry Kane – as […]

    10 years ago

  • Aldi forced to change horribly inappropriate name of their yellow paint

    Aldi forced to change horribly inappropriate name of their yellow paint

    We’re not sure this was the best idea. If you’ve ever been shopping for paint in a supermarket or DIY store, you’ll be fully aware of all the weird and wonderful names they have for the differing colours. There’s about twelve shades of white. But this is definitely the worst we’ve seen. In fact we’re […]

    10 years ago

  • The Dutch go all blue with classy new Nike away kit

    The Dutch go all blue with classy new Nike away kit

    It’s such a pity we won’t be seeing this beauty in France. When we’re in the throes of international qualifying, there’s nothing we enjoy better than to see one of the bigger nations falter and fail to make the grade. And yet come the actual tournament, their presence is desperately missed. It takes away some […]

    10 years ago

  • Virgin Trains have a weird dig at Gary Cahill captaining England

    Virgin Trains have a weird dig at Gary Cahill captaining England

    We’ve all heard of the banter bus, but what’s with this rail ribbing? Everyone is entitled to take the p*ss and have a laugh. In fact many of us positively revel in making mirth of our footballing heroes. It just seems a little strange when it’s out of the blue…from a train company. Ahead of […]

    10 years ago

  • Johan Cruyff and the turn of the century

    Johan Cruyff and the turn of the century

    Genius abridged in one movement. You’ll read all sorts of glowing superlatives and heartfelt tributes about Johan Cruyff over the next few days, following his premature death at the age of only 68. It tells you something about the mark of the man that many respected scribes have excelled themselves with superlative prose in his […]

    10 years ago

  • “I will be naked forever”, says Hulk Hogan about sex tape scandal

    “I will be naked forever”, says Hulk Hogan about sex tape scandal

    Hulk Hogan is accustomed to winning, but even a $140m lawsuit victory can’t give him back his privacy. The former wrestler took publisher Gawker Media to court after it shared a video of him having sex with his ex-best friend’s wife. He has since been awarded an initial $115m and a further $25m for punitive damages. But the fact remains that people around the […]

    10 years ago

  • People are slating this guy who bragged about confronting a Muslim woman over Brussels

    People are slating this guy who bragged about confronting a Muslim woman over Brussels

    You can’t be so incredibly insensitive and expect to get away with it. The bigot’s favourite trick is to take something incendiary and tar a whole group of people with it. It is how football fans were dismissed as sub-human scum during the ’80s, and why people of Irish descent were slandered with references to the IRA for […]

    10 years ago

  • Brussels and the morbid race to spin a tragedy

    Brussels and the morbid race to spin a tragedy

    No time to mourn. There’s a sad predictability about the response to any act of terrorism. And of course it’s desperate that we’re even able to gauge it due to regularity. The information age may be brilliant and instant, but it is also an era of misinformation, rumour, and prank. It is perfectly natural that people should […]

    10 years ago

  • Juve legend Gianluigi Buffon composed this passionate love letter to his goal

    Juve legend Gianluigi Buffon composed this passionate love letter to his goal

    It’s easy to see why he’s a keeper. Gianluigi Buffon is not your average number one. Not only is he a bona fide legend of the game for both club and country, but the 38-year-old stopper is something of a sensitive soul who always wears his heart on his sleeve. Or glove. During Sunday’s Turin […]

    10 years ago

  • Slaven Bilic outdoes horny Van Gaal with some sexy football talk of his own

    Slaven Bilic outdoes horny Van Gaal with some sexy football talk of his own

    Turns out beating Chelsea is hard. Really hard. Hot on the heels of Louis van Gaal explaining how he regularly orders his charges to show their “horny” side during games, West Ham United’s Slaven Bilic shared some sexy football talk of his own. The Claret and Blue Army are erecting something of a late push to stealthily enter […]

    10 years ago

  • VIDEO: Gareth Bale overtakes Gary Lineker to make La Liga history

    VIDEO: Gareth Bale overtakes Gary Lineker to make La Liga history

    What a phenomenal achievement. Gareth Bale’s time at Real Madrid has been punctuated by constant stories that either he is unhappy, the club are unhappy, the fans are displeased, or perhaps most pertinently his agent’s phone fingers are restless. But the mercurial Welshman has consistently stressed that he’s extremely content at the Bernabeu. He has continued to do […]

    10 years ago

  • VIDEO: Fed up Pellegrini walks out of interview after Man City slump to derby defeat

    VIDEO: Fed up Pellegrini walks out of interview after Man City slump to derby defeat

    He’s not a happy man. Manuel Pellegrini may be working out his notice at Man City as the club readies itself for Pep Guardiola’s arrival, but he still cares deeply about the club’s current fortunes. The Blues lost their vital Sunday fixture with arch-rivals and neighbours Man United 1-0, courtesy of a Marcus Rashford goal, and […]

    10 years ago

  • Toffees rejoice as Everton confirm that Tim Howard is leaving for MLS

    Toffees rejoice as Everton confirm that Tim Howard is leaving for MLS

    He’s off home. It’s not that long since US national keeper Tim Howard was the subject of global memes due to his World Cup heroics in Brazil. He was even congratulated by President Obama for his superhuman efforts between the posts. But things change quickly in football. Fast forward to 2016 and Everton fans are constantly […]

    10 years ago

  • Alex Iwobi scores on his full Arsenal debut and the Martial comparisons begin

    Alex Iwobi scores on his full Arsenal debut and the Martial comparisons begin

    What a moment for the youngster. Arsene Wenger raised a few eyebrows when he decided to pick 19-year-old Alex Iwobi to partner Danny Welbeck ahead of both Olivier Giroud and Theo Walcott against Everton. But it proved to be an inspired decision as the Nigerian teenager linked up brilliantly with Welbeck and marked his first start with […]

    10 years ago

  • PIC: Pope Francis joins Instagram and the response is brilliant

    PIC: Pope Francis joins Instagram and the response is brilliant

    “I am beginning a new journey, on Instagram, to walk with you along the path of mercy and the tenderness of God.” We’ll be honest with you, that’s not a sentence we’d necessarily have imagined a Pope ever saying, but there you go. In these technological times, why not use every avenue open to you […]

    10 years ago

  • PICS: Leicester City physio slams Crystal Palace’s disgusting dressing room

    PICS: Leicester City physio slams Crystal Palace’s disgusting dressing room

    Not fit for purpose. We’re well aware that certain clubs seek to make the away dressing room a less than hospitable place for the visiting team, but surely this is taking the almighty p*ss. Ahead of Leicester City’s match at Crystal Palace on Saturday afternoon, the Foxes’ Head Physiotherapist was less than impressed with Selhurst Park’s […]

    10 years ago

  • Everton vs Arsenal starting lineups – Teenager Alex Iwobi starts ahead of Giroud and Walcott

    Everton vs Arsenal starting lineups – Teenager Alex Iwobi starts ahead of Giroud and Walcott

    Martinez vs Wenger. Two under-fire patrons of the beautiful game. Neither will sacrifice their devotion to free-flowing, attacking football but their respective sets of fans are often dismayed by disappointing results. Everton and Arsenal meet at Goodison Park for Saturday’s early kickoff and the starting XIs have been announced… Team news! Here's our XI and subs to face @Arsenal… […]

    10 years ago

  • PICS: England fans aren’t sure how to react to unusual new Euro 2016 kits…

    PICS: England fans aren’t sure how to react to unusual new Euro 2016 kits…

    Well that escalated quickly. Nike and the FA proudly unveiled the new home and away England kits on Thursday, and it’s fair to say that the reaction was…passionate. The subtle two-tone shirts – and the not-so-subtle inverted sock colours – certainly stirred an emotional response amongst the fans. But it wasn’t all positive. Below are just […]

    10 years ago

  • PICS: Italy’s new PUMA leisurewear range is achingly cool

    PICS: Italy’s new PUMA leisurewear range is achingly cool

    Italy: home of the Renaissance, football, and style. Unfortunately, we can’t crowbar the first into a story about PUMA’s new Italia leisurewear range, but the last two certainly apply – and how. We already knew the Euro 2016 away kit in particular was something of a work of art (much like a Renaissance painting…No? Fine…), but there’s so much more. There’s […]

    10 years ago

  • VIDEO: Batman v Superman gets the romcom treatment and it’s brilliant

    VIDEO: Batman v Superman gets the romcom treatment and it’s brilliant

    “I’m just a Son of Krypton, standing in front of a billionaire playboy, asking him to love him…” Okay, so maybe that’s not a line taken from the highly-anticipated Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but it could easily belong to this brilliantly imaginative parody, that casts Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne as superstar-crossed lovers. https://twitter.com/captaindeadpooI/status/707792117607739392 […]

    10 years ago

  • VIDEO: River Plate striker somehow manages to score an overhead kick on the half-volley

    VIDEO: River Plate striker somehow manages to score an overhead kick on the half-volley

    Talk about inventive. In a stunning moment of invention, with his back to goal and five defenders between him and the keeper, River Plate’s Rodrigo Mora somehow managed an overhead kick with the ball barely a foot from the ground. The Uruguayan forward scored the remarkable goal against the brilliantly named Bolivian side ‘The Strongest’ in the group stages […]

    10 years ago

  • Pep ensures the Premier League has four clubs in the Champions League for another year

    Pep ensures the Premier League has four clubs in the Champions League for another year

    Bless his beautiful shiny head. You’ll no doubt have heard a lot of talk about coefficients regarding European football of late. That’s because Italy’s Serie A were dangerously close to nabbing one of the Premier League’s extra Champions League places. Italian clubs performing well in both the European Cup and Europa League in recent years, […]

    10 years ago

  • PICS: West Ham are selling the most ridiculous item of official merchandise of all time

    PICS: West Ham are selling the most ridiculous item of official merchandise of all time

    Good Lord. We’re practically at a loss to describe how truly bizarre West Ham United’s latest piece of official club merchandise is. When Liverpool started advertising this abomination, we didn’t think it could be beat. We were wrong. The Hammers are of course leaving their beloved Boleyn Ground at the end of the season, to move into the […]

    10 years ago

  • PICS: Man United announce new sponsor…but Antonio Valencia is the worst player to promote it

    PICS: Man United announce new sponsor…but Antonio Valencia is the worst player to promote it

    Another day, another sponsor. Manchester United have more official partners than an indecisive Mormon. Forget about their struggles on the pitch, when it comes to milking as much money as possible from the footballing ‘brand’, they have few peers. The latest addition to the club’s obscure and varied roster of corporate bedfellows is Gulf Oil International, […]

    10 years ago

  • Liverpool fans celebrate Ian Ayre’s decision to step down as Anfield CEO

    Liverpool fans celebrate Ian Ayre’s decision to step down as Anfield CEO

    The end of an era. Liverpool Football Club have announced that Ian Ayre will step down as the club’s Chief Executive Officer at the end of May 2017, when his current contract expires. The Anfield club stressed that the decision was Ayre’s himself, and that they actually did their best to talk him out of […]

    10 years ago

  • When a teetotal Muslim asked the internet what Guinness tastes like

    When a teetotal Muslim asked the internet what Guinness tastes like

    A pint of Guinness. There’s nothing quite like it. Or so I’m told. As a practicing Muslim, I’ve never tried it myself. But I’ve spent many an evening watching pals neck the stuff in various public houses as I nurse a glass of orange juice. Now I’ve never been tempted to sup on the dark […]

    10 years ago

  • Piers Morgan attacks David Beckham for ‘attention-seeking’ Arsenal comment

    Piers Morgan attacks David Beckham for ‘attention-seeking’ Arsenal comment

    One is an incredibly popular British icon who is loved on both sides of the Atlantic. The other is Piers Morgan. But David Beckham and the infamous Arsenal fan seem to have clashed over the Gunners’ current predicament. Following Sunday’s defeat to Watford in the FA Cup, many Gooners have suggested that their season is effectively over. Some are […]

    10 years ago

  • PIC: Liverpool ruin everything by creating the worst piece of Klopp merchandise ever

    PIC: Liverpool ruin everything by creating the worst piece of Klopp merchandise ever

    It was all going so well. Jurgen Klopp had brought optimism back to Liverpool. The rudderless ship finally had a captain worthy of its great tradition. Ahead of schedule, the German had delivered a cup final, European progress and a late bid for Champions League football next season. But that was until Liverpool Football Club decided to ruin […]

    10 years ago

  • VIDEO: Furious Paul Scholes absolutely nails it about Man United’s tweeting stars

    VIDEO: Furious Paul Scholes absolutely nails it about Man United’s tweeting stars

    Paul Scholes is not one to mince his words. Upon the final whistle of Manchester United’s gutless 2-0 surrender at Anfield in the Europa League, the former Old Trafford midfielder was clearly hurt by the shambles he had witnessed. But one thing Scholesy doesn’t abide is hollow sentiments of regret. Like many United fans out there, […]

    10 years ago

  • Liverpool vs Man United: Starting lineups announced

    Liverpool vs Man United: Starting lineups announced

    It’s the big one. Liverpool and Man United meet in European competition for the first time ever on Thursday evening for their UEFA Europa League clash, and the teams are in. The good news for the home side is that Daniel Sturridge returns to Liverpool’s starting line-up, and Nathaniel Clyne replaces Jon Flanagan, who is not registered to […]

    10 years ago