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27th Oct 2018

Golden State Warriors unveil banger remix to Fergie’s infamous national anthem performance

Kyle Picknell

Scenes in the Golden State locker room

It was a while ago now, but it still haunts our memory. Deep in the murky recesses of our minds it remains. It lingers. Corrupting our cells like a bad computer hard-drive.

This. Fergie, proprietor of the ABSOLUTE ANTHEM ‘Glamorous’ – infinitely better than ‘Fergalicious’ – holding the NBA All-Star game hostage to deliver her shocking, shocking, awful, terrible rendition of the American national anthem ‘The Star Spangled Banner’.

Do you remember? Do you?

The reactions of the players says it all. 

Hold on a second, quick detour, I’m not quite done about ‘Glamorous’.

You, an idiot: ‘Fergalicious’ is the quintessential Fergie banger.

Me, some kind of genius: ‘Glamorous’, whilst not titled as such, is truly the most Fergalicious Fergie banger.  

Let us continue.

The Golden State Warriors, a sort of Harlem Globetrotters collection of basketball talent that would have ruined the NBA for the last few years were it not for the actual alien that is LeBron James, have remixed it.

Or, at least, they have obtained a remix of Fergie’s national anthem performance. And they have blasted it in the dressing room. And they have bopped to it. And it is incredible. Watch, please.

Tag yourself. Are you:

  • Kevin Durant having a little shoulder bop with his feet in the ice bath
  • Draymond Green, feet also in the ice bath, the person who famously laughed absolutely HYSTERICALLY at Fergie’s original national anthem performance, miming along before succumbing to the rhythm
  • DeMarcus ‘Boogie’ Cousins, just loving life whilst sat in a Puma hoodie
  • Steph Curry consistently throwing and/or dishing out shapes
  • One of the assortment of Golden State bench players. One of them is Jordan Bell, I think. Kevon Looney, maybe? They look like a laugh, anyway. They look like good fun

In conclusion: the world’s best basketball team’s locker room looks like a fun place to be. In other news, 50 Cent is being very petty and a strange bright sphere continues to radiate heat and light onto the planet earth.

End transmission.