‘I have not yet grasped the ability to fly/float around my apartment’
A man has delighted social media with his ridiculously sarcastic response to a complaint from his downstairs neighbour.
Content creator Shell Rowe shared the letter with her TikTok followers, and couldn’t help laughing at the inventive way her brother had dealt with a request to move around his apartment more quietly.
The neighbour, who has apparently lived in the building for around one year, begged Shell’s brother to “please be kind and respect your neighbour (sic) room below with your noise”.
Rather than trying to make less noise, the brother instead penned a detailed response.
In a TikTok video that has since clocked up 22.5m views, Shell laughed: “I have tears. My brother has just been sent a letter by his neighbour, complaining.”
She then went about reading out the letter of complaint, which said: “Dear neighbour, please be kind and respect your neighbour (sic) room below with your noise. I’m been living here almost a year and I’m always hearing your foot stepping all the times day and night [sic].
“I have enough with this noises all the time [sic]. I never report about this and I want you to be kind to us as well. Otherwise, I have to report it.”
Next, Shell read out her brother’s reply, chucking first, that she was “eagerly awaiting” the response it would generate.
“Dearest neighbour in flat 19, (Karen). Thank you very much for your note.
“Unfortunately, despite several years of hardcore meditation, a very strict diet and many years of patience, I have not yet grasped the ability to fly/float around my apartment.
“Due to this, I have had to walk as the default method of transportation around my premises – I am curious as to what you would have me do otherwise.”
The brother continued, questioning the neighbour’s choice to live under someone: “I am also curious as to why you have chosen to move into an apartment building with neighbours directly living above and below you if potentially hearing another person’s footsteps was going to be such an issue.
“Furthermore, I’m also not certain as to how you thought you were going to live here for an entire year without the slightest ‘disturbance’.
“I’m also willing to place a wager that if you are this hyper-sensitive to the sound of footsteps, then surely the neighbours living below your apartment can also hear your footsteps too. Regards, an actual adult.”
In several follow-up TikTok’s Shell introduced her brother as he attempted to master other attempts of personal transportation, such as flying.
Shell’s followers called the letter “outstanding”.
One amused person commented: “I’m literally dying! Is your brother a lawyer? He should be! This is class!!!”
Another said: “This is iconic. Tell him to print off a screenshot of Amazon favourites noise cancelling headphones and post it through their door, problem solved.”
A third added that neighbours really need to learn to live with each other: “As a fellow downstairs neighbour, this is stuff you have to learn to live with. Fair enough if he was playing just dance at 2am though.”
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