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18th August 2023
11:54am BST
A mum has told how her boyfriend, who earns three times more than her, expects her to pay half for everything and even asks her for petrol money.
In a post on UK parenting forum Mumsnet, the anonymous woman asked if she should be "wary" of the man she has been dating, or was being "unfair". The man, she said was nearly 50.
The woman said she found the man's behaviour strange, but commenters were divided about whether it was an issue or not. Some suggested she should pay her way - despite the difference in earnings - others said her beau sounded tight.
In her post, the woman said her boyfriend "always makes sure we pay even amounts but this sometimes ends up as me paying more."
"For example, he will pay for dinner but I have to pay for two lunches to make it up," she explained.
The woman added that the couple recently went away for a camping holiday, and he asked her for petrol money.
However, when she drove to his house, she never asked him for any.
The woman added she would often treat friends and didn't expect anything in return.
Commenters were divided.
One wrote, that if you are splitting the bill, you have to split the bill: "All straightforward and no tally to be kept on who's paying for lunch next time."
Another added: "Going Dutch is fair enough in a new relationship. Just be careful that you are only covering your own costs and not his."
But many thought the man was taking it too far and wasn't being kind.
One wrote: "I am staunchly in favour of paying your own way on dates… but this is miserly and penny-pinching. Asking for petrol money when you earn three times the salary - no thanks. He sounds like he is going to be a nuisance further down the line."
Another person added that the man's behaviour made him seem "a bit tight", but added that it depended on what his "demeanour/attitude" was like about splitting bills.
"It should be a more casual and trusting feeling than a regimented who pays what."
Another said: "It's fine to both pay your way but I think this is going a bit far."
One commenter didn't see it that way at all though, writing: "I have never in my life asked for petrol money from someone. This is really tight."
One person even went further, saying the mum was right to be suspicious as the man "might be trying to get money out" of her.
Some pointed out that it was also strange that she always went to his house.
One wrote: "I wouldn't expect him to chip in to pay your petrol to visit him but why isn't he making the effort to come to your house sometimes?' While another penned: 'Stop driving to his house and see how much effort he makes to see you."
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