‘I’m not sure what I can do’
A woman has revealed that she has been forced to choose between her boyfriend and her dog after her partner issued her with an ultimatum.
The woman detailed how she had moved in with her boyfriend just after he got a cat, but was also fully aware that she wanted a dog.
Eventually, she did adopt a “very small” dog from a rescue home, and her partner was “on board” with the entire thing – but he still said his cat will “probably stay favourite.”
Everything was fine, until the last few weeks when the canine’s relationship with his feline housemate went pear-shaped, the woman revealed.
Writing on Mumsnet, she said: “He used to sleep with the cat and now does nothing but chase it and if he grabs her, takes fur out, etc. He [the bf] is blaming me, saying I never did training around cats but yet there was 0 issues until this last month where I’m trying but not sure what to do.
“His cat now hides almost all the time but does come out when it needs food, etc. he wants me to have the dog on a lead at all times and I’ve explained that’s completely not feasible at this stage and he said I should have done that from day 1.”
So, the boyfriend has issued an ultimatum to his partner – he’ll move out of the house they bought together unless the dog is always on the lead.
The woman concluded: “I’m not entirely sure what I can do. I’m trying to train him the ‘leave it’ command (he’s fine when it’s good or things, but not so effective with the cat but I’m obviously working on it). I always try to get his engagement when he sees the cat but he doesn’t engage until he is done chasing it, etc.
“I do feel it’s just a bit of a natural behaviour and there’s nothing more I can do really, which is winding him up the most but then is only offering solutions that would be cruel to the rescue… AIBU or is DP?”
The dilemma prompted plenty of comments.
One person wrote: “You’ve both got an animal and if the animals can’t live together and you won’t rehome them then you’ll have to live separately. He’s right that the cat shouldn’t live being constantly attacked and traumatised. You have to keep them separate if you can’t manage the behaviour.”
A second said: “I’m not surprised your DP is upset if you’re just seeing it as natural behaviour. You need to either limit the dog to a couple of rooms and let the cat have the rest of its house back, or you need to move out.”
A third added: “TBH I think you are both being unreasonable. Unreasonable in that you have made 2 pets the centre of your separate worlds. There is not room in the relationship for everything and your work/careers. Get rid of the pets and concentrate on each other because that is what really matters. Sort out the priorities between 2 people first.”
And someone else commented: “In my view you are [in the wrong], the cat was there first, if if was we would be looking at rehoming the dog to keep the cat safe.”