23 stupid questions about British people, answered

Britain is a nation of idiosyncrasies.

We have our ways, our habits, our little things that make us unique - the things that make us British. But as with all idiosyncrasies, to the outside world we can look a little odd sometimes. To help the outside world understand us better, we scraped through Twitter to see what kind of questions the world is asking about Britain and tried to answer them. Unfortunately, some of the questions were downright stupid. Nevertheless, we gave it a shot.

 1.

https://twitter.com/wildfirebello/status/784030173934989314 It's not called 'beans under toast', is it?  

2.

https://twitter.com/britwerk/status/782026229104934912 Have you seen our weather? It's amazing we ever come back.  

3.

https://twitter.com/OrlaithDarcy/status/741026352363671552 You say that like John isn't the best name for a dog ever.  

4.

https://twitter.com/eschlemon/status/780105462943457280 Because we got tired of yelling "I JUST WANT A COFFEE" in Starbucks.  

5.

https://twitter.com/13WhiteShadow13/status/777671608307560448 There was a time when our people were great friends with the Birds. Our children played together in the street. Little British children and little Bird children, playing football and shitting on car windshields. But those little Bird children grew up to be big Bird men. Big Bird men with big Bird ideas. Ideas about how things were and the way things should be. We listened, patiently. We let pigeons into our towns and cities. We welcomed budgies into our homes. We set up the RSPB. Then one of them took a crap on Lord Nelson, and that's when things started to change.  

6.

https://twitter.com/sarcasm_tw/status/791387203100368896 IT'S ALL WE'VE GOT AND THEY'RE EVEN TAKING THAT AWAY FROM US.  

7.

https://twitter.com/AidaFilipovic/status/789521514790064128 Because getting drunk and starting fights in our own homes means we have to clean up the mess in the morning.  

8.

https://twitter.com/TheBangeatron/status/787632636210667520 There's a very good chance one of the candidates will get us all killed.  

9.

https://twitter.com/_rachneill/status/786155120534970368 Because it's the only WHAEEYYYY of life we know.  

10.

https://twitter.com/joelgoldstein75/status/760683093141389313 You're right. The correct term is 'bolognese cake'.  

11.

https://twitter.com/OnlyEmreCan/status/760801014060609536 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHY WE LOVE WWE SO MUCH.  

12.

https://twitter.com/McFlys_Smile/status/789479196275900416 It just really fucking burns us up that we're not popular on YouTube, alright?  

13.

https://twitter.com/ggothcIaudia/status/783496619224342529 They are two different names, but we do it just to piss off Gerald Butler.  

14.

https://twitter.com/shumiley/status/759709825122996224 RULE, BRITANNIA! BRITANNIA RULE THE WAVES!  

15.

https://twitter.com/CurlySketch/status/783381229085351936 We're not sure. The current theory revolves around the extreme potency of Brian Blessed's sperm.  

16.

https://twitter.com/blurryATC/status/782929962332516352 What can we say? Interior design is in our blood.  

17.

https://twitter.com/BellZarek/status/780900455232733186 We all start learning the recorder from the age of three.  

18.

https://twitter.com/DearBroMalcolm/status/766703256663789568 Because it sparkles and we are fabulous.  

19.

https://twitter.com/k3rtea/status/766198571381252096 If you're about to chat shit about Phil and Kirsty, a word of warning: you do not chat shit about Phil and Kirsty.  

20.

https://twitter.com/drowningthot/status/762688150024040448 It depends. Sometimes two kisses is enough, other times you have to escalate the situation into full-blown hardcore pornography.  

21.

https://twitter.com/NaeNae_1204/status/728669712813576192 To be clear, these people are rounded up and killed.  

22.

https://twitter.com/DerrickAlias/status/740158388043026432 Sipping tea is everything we do.  

23.

https://twitter.com/CookiesDesigns/status/777280678526345216 Did you read any of these questions?