23 stupid questions about British people, answered
Britain is a nation of idiosyncrasies.
We have our ways, our habits, our little things that make us unique - the things that make us British. But as with all idiosyncrasies, to the outside world we can look a little odd sometimes.
To help the outside world understand us better, we scraped through Twitter to see what kind of questions the world is asking about Britain and tried to answer them. Unfortunately, some of the questions were downright stupid. Nevertheless, we gave it a shot.
Why do British people eat toast with beans on top
— c 🇨🇳 (@chinaintheclub) October 6, 2016
It's not called 'beans under toast', is it?
why do british people go on vacation for so long
— bri bri (@briTwerk) October 1, 2016
Have you seen our weather? It's amazing we ever come back.
Why do British people call their dogs like John and like really ordinary Christian 1st names ? weirdos.
— ORLAITH (@OrlaithDarcy) June 9, 2016
You say that like John isn't the best name for a dog ever.
Why do British people always ask for americanos
— Adam E. (@eschlemon) September 25, 2016
Because we got tired of yelling "I JUST WANT A COFFEE" in Starbucks.
Why do British people hate birds so much
— Asher (@13whiteshadow13) September 19, 2016
There was a time when our people were great friends with the Birds.
Our children played together in the street. Little British children and little Bird children, playing football and shitting on car windshields. But those little Bird children grew up to be big Bird men.
Big Bird men with big Bird ideas. Ideas about how things were and the way things should be. We listened, patiently. We let pigeons into our towns and cities. We welcomed budgies into our homes. We set up the RSPB.
Then one of them took a crap on Lord Nelson, and that's when things started to change.
Why do British people like bake off so much I don't understand why it's so great
— Hannah | BLM (@RiversPhoenixx) October 26, 2016
IT'S ALL WE'VE GOT AND THEY'RE EVEN TAKING THAT AWAY FROM US.
Why do British people love going to the pub so much 🙁
— Aida Filipović (@AidaFilipovic) October 21, 2016
Because getting drunk and starting fights in our own homes means we have to clean up the mess in the morning.
Why do British people get so wrapped up in the American presidential campaign?
— Dan Bange (@TheBangerousOne) October 16, 2016
There's a very good chance one of the candidates will get us all killed.
Because it's the only WHAEEYYYY of life we know.
Why do british people say Lasange thats not correct
— Joel (@joelgoldstein75) August 3, 2016
You're right. The correct term is 'bolognese cake'.
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHY WE LOVE WWE SO MUCH.
Why do British people intend on calling sweets candy just to get popular on YouTube
— Frankie ⭐♀️ (@McFlys_Smile) October 21, 2016
It just really fucking burns us up that we're not popular on YouTube, alright?
They are two different names, but we do it just to piss off Gerald Butler.
RULE, BRITANNIA! BRITANNIA RULE THE WAVES!
We're not sure. The current theory revolves around the extreme potency of Brian Blessed's sperm.
What can we say? Interior design is in our blood.
We all start learning the recorder from the age of three.
Why do British people love Sparkling Water so much???
— c. wong 🇬🇾 (@DearBroMalcolm) August 19, 2016
Because it sparkles and we are fabulous.
If you're about to chat shit about Phil and Kirsty, a word of warning: you do not chat shit about Phil and Kirsty.
It depends. Sometimes two kisses is enough, other times you have to escalate the situation into full-blown hardcore pornography.
Why do British people eat their burgers with a fork and knife?!?
— Charlie(OTRB), Wesley, and Renae (@NaeNae_1204) May 6, 2016
To be clear, these people are rounded up and killed.
Sipping tea is everything we do.
why do British people have a thing against Americans 😩
— anh ✰ (@CookiesDesigns) September 17, 2016
Did you read any of these questions?