Search icon


28th Jul 2023

American living in Melbourne is ‘shocked’ Aussie men don’t buy women drinks

Steve Hopkins

‘I felt like I was so ugly, I was like, Why are these guys not approaching me?’

A US ex-pat has told how she felt “so ugly” while dating Down Under because of a key difference in the way men act at bars.

The TikToker, who goes by the name ‘Tate’, says she was “shocked” when she learned that Australian men don’t buy women drinks and aren’t as forward as they are in her homeland.

Tate moved to Melbourne and revealed in a post that she’s still adjusting to the country’s “norms”, including how the local men act.

“I remember one of the first times I went out in Australia; I left the bar feeling so defeated,” Tate explains in her post.


I’m back with the sh!t posting ahahaha #melbourne #dating #nightlife

♬ original sound – TATE DUANE

“In America, it is very common for men to approach you and offer to buy you a drink. Sometimes it’s even too aggressive, like I’ve had times going out in Arizona and LA, where men will just come up to you and grab your arm [and tell you], ‘I’m buying you a drink’.”

In Australia, Tate explained, conversing with strangers in bars takes a little work.

“It’s so different here,” she said.

“Men kind of sit back, let you approach them more, and they’re not as aggressive with it. After one of the first few times I went out, I felt like I was so ugly, I was like ‘Why are these guys not approaching me?

“That sounds very conceited, but going from what I know, I just thought it was so weird that guys weren’t approaching any girls.”

Tate went on to say that her Australian friend told her that men just aren’t likely to approach a stranger while out.

She replied: “What you have to pay for your own drinks on a night out?”

Tate said that in America “there were times” when she wouldn’t even bring her wallet or card out with her, “because we would scheme, scam, and look for men.”

“Everyone would do this, it was such a cultural norm. The guys wouldn’t expect anything for it – most of the time you wouldn’t get guys who were berating you for not giving them something afterwards.”

In Australia, Tate surmised, the opposite was true: “If a guy in Australia were to buy you a drink and you didn’t engage in a conversation or want to go home with him, they’d be confused and [wonder why they bought you a drink] in the first place.”

Tate got pretty rinsed in the comments.

One person simply wrote: “Welcome to equality.”

Many commented on the cost of drinks in Australia, and one joked: “I don’t even buy my missus a drink when we’re out. Why would I buy a strangers?”

Another added: “I went out every weekend for six years without speaking to a girl.”

Related links:

A 78-year-old man proposed to his high school crush at the airport

Man fell for wife of 60 years when she poured best pint he’d ever had

Relationship expert says women are ‘investments and guys on a low salary shouldn’t be dating’

British guy lets girlfriend sleep with other men while he’s at work

Woman shares husband with her mum – and sometimes lets her sister get involved

Woman marries her ‘stepdaddy’ and says it is the best decision she ever made