Best and worst Wetherspoons toilets in the UK ranked

Is your local on this?

They say there are three certainties in life; death, taxes, and the universal assurance that no matter what Wetherspoons you might find yourself in, you’ll be gasping for air by the time you reach the toilets.

Spoons – run by Sir Tim Martin, who was recently knighted for his services to pre-poached eggs – has garnered quite a reputation over the years for its unique ability to place the facilities in the most far-flung parts of the building.

It is, in fact, one of the few pub chains where you can kneck five pints and a full English and still come out fitter than when you went it owing to the long lengths it makes punters trail in a herculean bid to relieve themselves.

But in the pantheon of bad bogs, which ones are officially the worst?

That’s what researchers at Croydex have set out to find out, updating a list of the best Wetherspoons published by the Daily Express last year based on how well customers rated their toilets.

The league tables, printed on traditional Wetherspoons china plates, found The Brockley Barge in London came out as the boozer with the best bogs in England, closely followed by The Port Jackson in Bishops Stortford.

The pub with the most complaints was The Velvet Coaster in Blackpool, which had an enormous 25 negative bathroom reviews on TripAdvisor.

Best Wetherspoons toilets in England ranked

1. The Brockley Barge, London
2. The Port Jackson, Bishops Stortford
3. Goodmans Field, London
4. The Imperial, Exeter
5. The Punch Bowl, York
6. The Peter Cushing, Whitstable
7. The Admiral Collingwood, Ilfracombe
8. The Liberty Bounds, London
9. The Winter Gardens, Harrogate
10. The Velvet Coaster, Blackpool

North of the border in Scotland, Edinburgh has been found to be home to the two lowest-rated Wetherspoon bathrooms.

A notable 35 per cent of visitors at The Standing Order in Edinburgh have experienced an unwelcome odour during their restroom breaks, which is the last thing anyone needs after taking a long walk to get there in the first place!

Best Wetherspoons toilets in Scotland ranked

1. The Prestwick Pioneer, Prestwick
2. The Society Room, Glasgow
3. The Wheatsheaf Inn, Kilmarnock
4. The Caley Picture House, Edinburgh
5. The Standing Order, Edinburgh

And true to form, the re-occurring trend in Welsh Wetherspoons branches is the hike from the bar to the bathroom, which is flagged as an issue at all of the ranking Wetherspoon branches in the country.

It’s not called The Malcolm Uphill for no reason!

Best Wetherspoons toilets in Wales ranked

1. The Godfrey Morgan, Newport
2. The John Wallace Linton, Newport
3. The Central Hotel, Shotton
4. The Malcolm Uphill, Caerphilly
5. The Elihu Yale, Wrexham