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23rd April 2016
03:34pm BST

Which brings us back to why a hug can be so effective. Elena says:
"There's much to be said for connecting from the heart and feeling each other's energy. Though this does not necessitate physical contact, hugs are great in this way and, in Tantric circles, you'll notice they last a few minutes and involve slowing down, dropping into the body, being more present in the connection between the two people, conscious breathing and enhanced receptivity to whatever arises in the space of the hug, notably emotions and subtle energy sensations."That's not to say a big hug is the be-all-and-end-all, instant win button to turning your partner on. "Can a hug contribute to sexual arousal? Yes, but only if the energy is right and the connection is polarised," says Elena. "Other feelings and qualities of connection may arise otherwise, not of a sexual nature. It can be tender, melting, warming, comforting, strengthening, accepting or in some other way enhancing of one’s state or mood."
The key is to not have an end goal in sight. Key to tantra is building a 'conscious touch', a meditative quality that can turn the smallest bit of contact into something deeply rewarding for both you and your partner.
Take your time with things before you take your clothes off. Slow everything right down. Take deeper breaths, hold each other and make eye contact before, ahem, that.
As Elena explains:
"When you slow down, stay really present, receptive and pay attention to their body language and the signals you receive in your own body. You’ll know exactly what they need, when, where and how to touch them — every time, without them having to give you precise instructions the whole way through"So there you have it. Hug it out, people.
Would you be interested in more tantric sex tips? Let us know by sending in your thoughts to hello@JOE.co.uk, or drop us a message on Facebook.Explore more on these topics: