‘You carry on, you misogynistic twats, without a care or consideration in the world about how your throwaway threats could endanger your colleagues.’

8 years ago

‘The prevalence of social media means that huge swathes of plugged-in reds are now loath to break from their public support of the boss – a support that gives them the sheen of ardent fidelity in a knee-jerk age.’

8 years ago

‘I have seen the term ‘coconut’ used to describe the Home Secretary and his behaviour, and personally I find it unacceptable. This is why.’

8 years ago

If you’re going to say something risky, there’s always a risk. And there’s only a phantom if you really want to look for it – not unlike some offence.

8 years ago

“It’s terrible, but the best team to watch at the moment is the other team. The one I don’t like to mention by name.”

8 years ago

‘Much of her material covers politics with a small ‘p’ and the inherent nonsense of prejudice. She has great lines on stripping, homophobia, sexism, and dating outside of your class, whilst mining gems from the fact that her boyfriend literally looks up to her.’

8 years ago

Representation in itself is an important sign of progress. But it can also be used to give the illusion of positive change – whilst ensuring the opposite.

8 years ago

The irresponsible nature of Piers Morgan’s words are compounded by the fact that he cannot possibly be stupid enough to believe them.

8 years ago

The opposite of #NotAllMen is NOT that every single adult male out there is a rapist or sex pest or misogynist. The opposite of #NotAllMen is all women.

8 years ago

One suspects that May’s ultimate legacy will be the catastrophe of a no deal Brexit, inevitable resignation, and requests to ‘do the dance’.

8 years ago

Who: Scott Bennett Where: The Comedy Store, Manchester Why: Everyone’s got a mate who’s just naturally funny. As in they’re not trying to be funny, or even necessarily chatting about funny stuff, but they just crack you up with their general demeanour and unintentionally hilarious quirks and intonations. Scott Bennett’s performance is a bit like […]

8 years ago

Ineffective management, bitchy infighting, and no clear identity. Sound familiar? Sure it does, because it’s par for the course for Theresa May these days.

8 years ago

Ineffective management, bitchy infighting, and no clear identity. Sound familiar? Sure it does, because it’s par for the course for Mourinho these days.

8 years ago

“Craig Cash and Phil Mealey pull off the trick of making Early Doors as entertaining for the uninitiated newcomer as it is for the diehard fan. This is a slice of northern life that is so lovingly specific and so well observed that it becomes universal.”

8 years ago

The defence has no leader, the midfield has all the dynamism of a vegan at a barbecue, and the attack is as aimlessly offensive as a UKIP manifesto.

8 years ago

The Weather Channel’s report is epic and breathtaking on every level. But importantly, it doesn’t feel remotely sensationalist, gratuitous or exploitative.

8 years ago

Sarah and her pals are walking the Great Wall of China after she beat cancer – twice – to improve the way breast cancer is treated in the UK. You can donate here: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/gwoc18

8 years ago

Mick Ferry is self-effacing, inclusive, and naturally charismatic. The kind of bloke who’d retreat to the kitchen at a party for some peace, only to find the party following him in there.

8 years ago

I may disapprove of you burning your own shoes, but I will defend to the death your right to choke on the fumes. Please, just do it.

8 years ago

It’s all a fucking game for Boris. Conservative party politics got us into this mess and now it is serving to push us further towards the abyss. The EU Referendum was quite clearly motivated by a need to placate Eurosceptic backbenchers, and backfired spectacularly when the most irrational, unthinkable, and harmful outcome transpired. Reckless arse-coverer […]

8 years ago

Who: John Hastings Where: The Comedy Store, Manchester Why: John Hastings is like the comedy version of Manchester United’s 1994 double-winning side. Sir Alex Ferguson proudly boasted that team would out-skill you if you came to play, and out-fight you if you came to scrap. Either way, they’d win. Hastings is in no way confrontational […]

8 years ago

Lauren Pattison marches onto stage with real purpose. Her sparkly disco skirt and no-bullshit boots are a fitting uniform, as she addresses the crowd with the urgency of a best friend eager to unload.

8 years ago

H for history. Manchester United are to face a resurgent Valencia and always competitive Young Boys of Bern in Group H of the Champions League this year, but Thursday’s draw was all about the first name out of the perspex bowl, as Juventus were paired with Jose Mourinho’s faltering outfit to gasps of both dread and […]

8 years ago

“This is our year.”

8 years ago

“There are no plans to deploy the army to maintain food supplies.” – wait, what?

8 years ago

We are often told that modern football has lost all connection with its traditional working-class roots. Whereas the national game was once the pursuit of working people, it has gone through a gradual gentrification and not-so-gradual commercialisation, and lost part of its soul in the process. It renders the match-going punter less and less important […]

8 years ago

Ed Woodward could not have planned it all any worse – and therefore any better.

8 years ago

Dark Horse is a must-see show for all sorts of reasons, and Sarah Keyworth is the best gay Jedi Master a girl could have.

8 years ago

This could easily have been an ambitious but complicating mishmash, instead it’s a fully-formed gem.

8 years ago

Bethany Black’s superb show is a testament to why diversity and representation is so vital in comedy. Not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because it allows for hilarious new takes you otherwise wouldn’t experience.

8 years ago

Jen Brister is breathtaking. From start to finish she performs with such flair and visceral intensity that you leave feeling as if you’ve just disembarked a roller coaster.

8 years ago

Who: Justin Moorhouse What: Northern Joker Where: Gilded Balloon Teviot – Dining Room When: 7pm Why: From the very outset, Justin Moorhouse plays with preconceptions of who and what he is. He explains that the ‘Northern Joker’ title of his show derives from the fact that he is indeed a performer of jokes and clearly Northern […]

8 years ago

Who: Lou Conran What: At Least I’m Not Dog Poo Darren Where: Just the Tonic at The Caves – Just Out of the Box When: 3.20pm Why: Last year, Lou Conran received rave reviews for ‘I love Lou C’. It centred around the very difficult and personal subject of having to terminate a pregnancy after five […]

8 years ago

Brennan Reece is a charming raconteur, and fits into the ‘leading man’ role with ease, albeit with a northern twist. Imagine Ryan Gosling knocking about in Hollyoaks, or Joseph Gordon-Levitt sewing lingerie in Weatherfield.

8 years ago

Suzi Ruffell could single-handedly solve the global energy crisis. She whizzes around the stage like a firework that’s been set off on the top deck of a bus. A kinetic blur of bright red lipstick, topped with a non-stop mop.

8 years ago

Not only is Rowe unfailingly honest, but he’s saying something vital and fresh about how we castigate anyone who has ever had a flaw, or lacks the life experience to realise they are wrong.

8 years ago

Rachel Fairburn swaggers onto the stage with all the cocksure confidence of a Glastonbury headliner. From the outset, it is clear that she is a performer at the top of her game.

8 years ago

Some of Shah’s throwaway one-liners about religion, nationhood, society, and human nature are as erudite as you’ll hear anywhere.

8 years ago

Kiri Pritchard-McLean has the stage presence of Beyonce crossed with David Bowie and She-Ra

8 years ago

Not my round…

8 years ago

Anthony Martial is something of an enigma. He is a player of undoubted natural ability and huge potential. The way he can carry the ball past a number of opposition players and finish with instinctive precision elevates him beyond many in his age group. Not only that, but he does it with such style. Some […]

8 years ago

Why when Mourinho is involved is it always polemic?

8 years ago

The story of Carlos Henrique Raposo is so fantastical that it’s hard to believe it’s real. Going by the moniker of ‘Kaiser’, this wannabe footballer with no discernible talent somehow managed to bluff his way through a ‘professional’ career spanning two decades. Not only that, but he can boast stints at Flamengo, Fluminense, Botafogo and […]

8 years ago

Last week, Trevor Noah addressed the issue of football and national identity He was responding to a letter of complaint from the French Ambassador to the US, Gérard Araud. Noah had previously joked that the continent of Africa had won the World Cup, due to the notable percentage of France’s squad that are of African heritage. […]

8 years ago

‘Principle, integrity and standards matter. Without those, what’s left?’ It has been claimed that Julian Smith, the chief whip of the Conservative Party, urged three Tory MPs to ignore ‘pairing’ arrangements in the Commons on Tuesday. ‘Pairing’ is an arrangement between two MPs of opposing parties that allows them to miss occasional votes in the House. […]

8 years ago

This is unreal pettiness from the Queen – and we love it

8 years ago

Sometimes it’s hard to acquiesce to the truth. Over the course of the last four weeks, a strange swell of emotion has overtaken the country. England entered the World Cup to general ambivalence, and none of the usual hype. In fact we heard many people say it’s just a waste of time. But little by […]

8 years ago

Ronaldo and Messi Saturday just passed was branded as something of a dark day in this year’s hitherto fantastic tournament, as both Portugal and Argentina were dumped out at the first knockout stage. Neutrals were less upset at the elimination of these two proud footballing nations, and more mourning the loss of Lionel Messi and […]

8 years ago

Shithouse n.  /ˈʃɪthəʊs/ (vulgar slang, informal) 1. An outhouse, a usually permanent outbuilding containing a toilet or seat over a cesspit. 2. Someone who partakes in ‘shithousing’ – the noble of art of wilfully acting the cunt. If you think the World Cup is purely about football, please stop reading. Quite frankly you make me […]

8 years ago

It’s Coming Home We’ve done it lads. We’ve finally done it. After thirty plus years of hurt, we’ve finally started to properly take the piss out of ourselves and go full meta with the whole England hype train. Russia 2018 marks the point at which the whole of England learnt to stop taking World Cup […]

8 years ago