COMMENT: Why it's problematic to call Sajid Javid a 'coconut' 6 months ago

COMMENT: Why it's problematic to call Sajid Javid a 'coconut'

It's not okay.

Sajid Javid has come under fire for a tweet he posted on Friday evening following the conviction of twenty members of a grooming gang in Huddersfield. He specifically referred to the race of the abhorrent shitbags in question, as well as using the term 'no-go areas'.

This pathetic attempt to pander to right-wing racists comes a matter of weeks after Javid cynically tried to weaponise antisemitism by suggesting that Jeremy Corbyn would have 'gone by now' had he said 'Blacks' or 'Asians' instead of using the term 'Zionists'.

 


So essentially doing exactly what Javid has done now.

At the time of writing, the Tory token is yet to resign on the grounds of being a perfectly spherical hypocrite. Presumably it's just a matter of time until he realises that the act of arse-licking actual fascists has stained his reputation as well as his shitty tongue.

As sickly opportunistic as it is for Javid to use a tragic case that has ruined many young women's lives for his own self-hating political gains - as grotesque as it may be to make life tougher for law-abiding Asians who have had their race connected with such crimes - one term of criticism leaves me feeling uneasy.

I have seen the term 'coconut' used to describe the Home Secretary and his behaviour, and personally I find it unacceptable. If you don't know what it means, it essentially suggests that the person in question is 'brown on the outside, but white on the inside', like a coconut. An alternative slur is 'Bounty'.

Now as much as the shape of Javid's head actually resembles a literal coconut that I'd never tire of shying rubber balls at, it is deeply problematic to refer to him as the palm tree drupe. Call him a nefarious little shit-stain all you want - that's fine! An evil morally-corrupt fuckwit? Be my guest! Just not a 'coconut'.

Javid is many things. He is vital living evidence that we are still evolving as a species, so slippery and circular is his head and thus perfect for diving into the arseholes of white superiors. Indeed if there was a Caucasian human centipede assembled, he could slide from last anus to first mouth like it was a fucking luge.

Javid is such a token that racists wish they could still collect him from the side of marmalade jars and then send off for a Sajid doll. He is so self-hating that the Met Police have been forced to take the unprecedented step of removing all reflective surfaces from his home because he kept calling them in a panicked state.

Javid is so desperate to be accepted by his white peers that he daren't watch the snooker in polite company because he gets a chubby every time the white ball kisses the brown. And it's true he once got into a fight at school because someone said he was an exact replica of Morph and he wanted to be the white friend Chas.

Sajid Javid is all these things and more, but please don't call him a 'coconut'. Suggesting he is white on the inside is deeply problematic because it suggests that all white people hate Asians as much as he does, and that's simply not fair.