Roy Keane was on top, top form after Manchester United’s 2-0 defeat to Manchester City on Wednesday night Roy Keane is not a man of many words, nor is he likely to mince those few words he has. Roy Keane tells it exactly how he sees it and, more often than not, he sees it […]

7 years ago

Tormund is one of them. Obviously Tormund is one of them The best thing that could be said for Season 8 Episode 2 of Game of Thrones: ‘A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms’ is that it took the time to put some characters that we rarely see – or haven’t yet seen – together, if only […]

7 years ago

Van Dijk is fanning the flames ahead of the Manchester derby After a disastrous performance in a 4-0 defeat against Everton at Goodison Park on Sunday, Manchester United have it all to do in their bid to secure Champions League football next season. As you will no doubt be aware, they have the small challenge […]

7 years ago

No injuries have yet been reported Yet another explosive device was discovered in Sri Lanka today after a series of targetted attacks occurred in the country on Easter Sunday, killing 290 people and injuring over 500. According to Sky News a bomb was found by police in a parked van neat St Anthony’s church in […]

7 years ago

This is absolutely disgusting You probably won’t have heard of Jan Hurtado, Gimnasia La Plata’s young Venezuelan forward, but he might be worth paying attention to though if the following clip is anything to go by. During their 3-1 victory over fellow Argentina Superliga side Newell’s Old Boys, a club boasting playing alumni such as […]

7 years ago

Raheem Sterling is paying for the funeral of Crystal Palace player Damary Dawkins Manchester City forward Raheem Sterling is set to cover the funeral costs for Crystal Palace youth player Damary Dawkins after the 13-year-old died of leukaemia in March. Sterling supported a campaign to find a stem cell donor for the youngster, who had […]

7 years ago

A remarkable turnaround for the Geordies Other than the club record signing of Miguel Almiron and another season of Premier League football all but guaranteed, Newcastle United fans don’t have many reasons to be cheery. Mike Ashley is still running the club into the ground – more concerned with snapping up struggling high-street retailers rather […]

7 years ago

The bombings that occurred on Easter Sunday have left almost 300 dead and over 500 injured The death toll for the bombings that occurred in Sri Lanka on Sunday has risen overnight, with the number of confirmed victims reaching 290 – along with around 500 more that have been left injured by the blasts. A […]

7 years ago

Brought to you by Levi’s He’s our centre half, He’s our number four. People are hugging. Some of them are singing. We watch him defend, And we watch him score. No, everyone is singing. Everyone. Arms, suddenly pneumatic, puncture the air above in unison. The voices rise. He’ll pass the ball, Calm as you like. A sudden quiet […]

7 years ago

So this is what it’s all come down to The long unbearable journey is finally coming to a close. All this, all that we have been through, everywhere we have gone and everything we have seen. All the plots and the subplots and the sub-subplots and the plots even, several volcanic layers beneath those, are […]

7 years ago

No prizes for guessing who comes out on top in the war criminal stakes To celebrate the launch of the eighth and final season of Games of Thrones, the Australian Red Cross has analysed every episode of the last seven seasons to find out who the worst war criminal on the show is. As in, they’ve literally […]

7 years ago

Spoiler alert – this is definitely, definitely exactly how everybody is going to die in the final series of Game of Thrones because I am some kind of Brandon Stark-like warg and even if I wasn’t, I am always right about these kinds of things anyway Game of Thrones is a show steeped in death, so […]

7 years ago

Tell us what you really think Dani Dani Alves has openly criticised his teammates at Paris Saint-Germain in a startling interview on French radio station RMC during the Team Duga programme hosted by former France international Christophe Dugarry. In it, the Brazilian fullback suggests that his teammates would be better served listening to him because “he […]

7 years ago

L’Equipe are reporting that Qatar have AS Roma in their sights The Qatari government is reportedly eyeing up Serie A side Roma as the next project to expand their European football strategy according to French newspaper L’Equipe. According to the report, the club is proving enticing to investors because of its location in a major […]

7 years ago

Switzerland has overturned a national referendum due to ‘incomplete detail’ and ‘lack of transparency’ A country that isn’t Britain, as in, the country is Switzerland, unfortunately, has overturned a national referendum because its voters were poorly informed. Its the first time in the country’s modern history that Switzerland has overturned a national referendum, of some […]

7 years ago

A 19-year-old man has also been charged with a hate crime after an incident during the Edinburgh derby at the stadium Hearts will close a section of Tynecastle “with immediate effect” in an attempt to curb fan misbehaviour. In a statement, Hearts chairman Ann Budge confirmed that the club would be closing lower section G […]

7 years ago

People change, Sony. Some of us don’t want to be SlimeBoi69 anymore It’s long been an issue with the PlayStation Network but it finally appears to be coming to an end: as of today gamers can change their usernames. I know. I know. Deep breaths, X_scifininja_X. Calm down WankBot4000. “We’re excited to announce that the online […]

7 years ago

Sergio Busquets has a Scott McTominay poster above his bed Scott McTominay proved his doubters wrong on Wednesday night after a dominant performance against Barcelona at Old Trafford. The young midfielder set the tone for his side even after being scythed down by Sergio Busquets early on and after the game, both Gary Lineker and […]

7 years ago

When asked about marking Lionel Messi in the build-up to Wednesday’s game Chris Smalling said: “Bring it on” We now know what he meant. It turns out he has been fooling us this entire time, Chris Smalling; the softly-spoken, vegan lifestyle-following, occasional header-er and scuffer of footballs. This is what he truly is, deep down. […]

7 years ago

A man has been jailed following an investigation by the Counter Terrorism Command A man who was gathering together fireworks and other parts to make an improvised incendiary device has been arrested on a five-year custodial sentence after an investigation by the Met Police’s Counter Terrorism Command. The investigation found that Steven Bishop, a 41-year-old […]

7 years ago

Neves has been a key part of an impressive Wolverhampton Wanderers side this season Liverpool assistant manager Pep Lijnders has admitted that Wolves star Ruben Neves is the type of player that “always interests” the Merseyside club. Neves joined then Championship-side Wolves from Porto for a fee in the region of £16 million – a club […]

7 years ago

Roger Scruton has been sacked after using ‘white supremacist language’ in a magazine interview Roger Scruton, a right-wing philosopher, has lost his job as a government housing adviser due to a magazine interview he conducted with the New Statesman in which he appeared to repeat antisemitic, racist and Islamophobic statements. In the interview, Scruton said […]

7 years ago

Donald Tusk has written to the EU leaders recommending a year-long Brexit extension European Council president Donald Tusk has written to the leaders of the European Union recommending a year-long flexible Brexit extension. Tusk said there is “little reason to believe” that the ratification process of Theresa May’s Brexit deal can be completed by the […]

7 years ago

Justin Bieber, a musician who has sold an estimated 150 million records, has turned his hand to poetry. With predictable results Justin Bieber wrote a love poem about his wife, Hailey Baldwin, but was forced to delete it due to spelling errors. Justin Bieber then corrected the spelling errors and reposted the poem – which […]

7 years ago

Kebabs in bed: welcome to the future, friends You can buy a home rotisserie from eBay for £59.95. Again: you can buy a home rotisserie from eBay for £59.95. Are you buying it yet? Are you? You can buy a home rotisserie from eBay for £59.95. You can cook kebabs… in bed. You can buy […]

7 years ago

That’s right, Fawlty Towers is apparently better than that other British comedy you happen to think is the best Fawlty Towers, the comedy set in a haphazard hotel in Torquay and starring John Cleese as the eccentric manager Basil Fawlty, has been named the best British sitcom of all time by Radio Times magazine. Despite […]

7 years ago

Yes, yes he does play for PSG Remember when utility Stoke City forward Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting signed with nefarious oil barrens Paris Saint-Germain, the club with a literal bottomless pit of money, on a free transfer? Do you remember when everybody responded to the move with the same confused expression and mouthing of ‘errrr, what?’ […]

7 years ago

Strachan appeared to equate the abuse Adam Johnson could receive if he returns to football with the racist abuse of black players Gordon Strachan has apologised for “any unintended distress caused” after he was axed by Sky Sports following his controversial remarks on sex offender Adam Johnson and the racist abuse black footballers receive. Strachan’s comments […]

7 years ago

Love is in the air… in what looks like the Romanian fourth division And now for the most heartwarming football story of the weekend: a marriage proposal taking place before a football match in Romania involving two assistant referees. Romanian football journalist Emanuel Rosu shared the video footage on Twitter, which shows one of the […]

7 years ago

You won’t like Mesut when he’s angry Arsenal captain Mesut Özil was subbed off during their 1-0 defeat at Everton today and was left to fume on the bench as the game drifted away from the Gunners. Mesut was stewing so much, in fact, that he had no option but to chuck his substitute’s jacket at […]

7 years ago

Read us a funny bedtime story, Theresa. And make it a good one Up and coming social media satirist Theresa May has today released a video entitled ‘Let me explain what is happening with Brexit’ that has gone viral for hilariously skewering the current Brexit fiasco that she is in no way a part of. […]

7 years ago

“Yes Mo! What you doin’ round here, kid?” Prepare, ladies and gentlemen, prepare for the most beautifully Scouse video since The La’s played ‘There She Goes’ on the Merseyside Docks for Granada in 1990. Shared by Dejan Lovren, the video involves a man in a car who, on further inspection with the sound on is quite […]

7 years ago

Three horses died over the course of the three-day Grand National meeting this year The Grand National will once again come under review by Aintree and the British Horseracing Authority (BHA) after three horses died during this year’s meeting. Up for Review became the first horse to die in the National since 2012, suffering a […]

7 years ago

Virgil Van Dijk is the best defender in the world. But not for all the actual reasons. Not because he is really good at defending, which, obviously, he is, but because of all these things instead: from smelling nice to being able to kick a ball out of a stadium. And that’s the real quiz. […]

7 years ago

“I thought: ‘Great! I’m home” It may seem a long time ago now but Jose Mourinho was once the darling of the football managerial world, the tanned, fresh-faced disruptor sent to kick the stuffy old guard up the arse and win trophy after trophy after trophy at the world’s top clubs until the day he […]

7 years ago

To the politicians of the parliament of the United Kingdom I say one thing and one thing only: Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrder Today was like any other day in the House of Commons, or at least any other day in the House of Commons recently, where 650 members of parliament enter a wooden chamber and sit on some […]

7 years ago

Moise Kean is a fucking champion Make no mistake, Moise Kean has nothing to prove to us. Remember that. It’s the same fallacy that occurred in England with Raheem Sterling after he was repeatedly dragged by the racist newspaper headlines so commonplace in this country. Once he became a bonafide superstar, not just one of […]

7 years ago

Diego Simeone could be losing  two of his star players this summer Atletico Madrid are in danger of losing two of their best midfielders in the form of Spanish internationals Saul and Rodri, according to reports linking the pair to Manchester United and Manchester City respectively. As reported by ESPN, United have identified Saul Niguez – […]

7 years ago

People will no longer be able to add you to a group without your permission Messaging giant WhatsApp has added a new feature to its service that will mean people will no longer be able to add you to a group without your permission. The move comes in a bid to stop the spread of […]

7 years ago

Brunei is introducing a new penal code that makes adultery and gay sex punishable by stoning to death The nation of Brunei, located in south-east Asia, has introduced strict Islamic laws that make adultery and gay sex punishable by stoning to death, making it the first country in East Asia to have sharia penal code at […]

7 years ago

Castelldefels locals are joking that Coutinho’s home is the secret reason behind his poor form Former Liverpool playmaker Philippe Coutinho has been having a relatively tough time of it of late at Barcelona, the club who bought him for £142 million just over a year ago. Such is the extent of his struggles that local […]

7 years ago

Bolton Wanderers‘ next two home games are in doubt Supporters have been prohibited from attending Bolton Wanderers’ next two home games – against Ipswich Town on Saturday and Middlesbrough on Tuesday – following a Safety Advisory Group (SAG) meeting today that concluded that the club couldn’t ensure the safety of its spectators and the public. The […]

7 years ago

The Curva Nord fan group has released a statement entitled “Onwards with Inter fans, Icardi get lost” Inter Milan’s Mauro Icardi has been reinstated into the first team squad and is set to start for the Nerazzurri against Genoa on Wednesday, according to manager Luciano Spalletti. The Argentine hasn’t played for the club for almost […]

7 years ago

Fans had to wait ridiculous amounts of time for Avengers tickets and some didn’t even get through thanks to website crashes Unless you’ve been living in a small, WIFI-less box that is also located within a deep network of caves that is also set on another planet entirely, you’ll no doubt be aware of Marvel’s […]

7 years ago

The president of the DFB has resigned after three controversial years in charge The president of the German Football Association (DFB) Reinhard Grindel has confirmed that he has stepped down from his role with immediate effect following allegations of corruption from German news magazine Der Spiegel. Grindel, 57, has faced growing pressure since reports emerged of […]

7 years ago

I play FIFA occasionally and therefore think I am the best person to ever play FIFA just like absolutely everybody else Playing against somebody you know is better than you at FIFA, as in you can feel it in your bones, in the pit of your stomach, in the very murky depths of your mind, is one […]

7 years ago

On the opening day of the 2008/09 season, Gabriel Agbonlahor arrived like he always did, in a dizzying, muscular rush He scored a seven-minute hat-trick against Manchester City, then still a juggernaut in waiting, a semi-exotic mess of players; Valeri Bojinov injured in the warm-up, Ched Evans starting up front. By technical definition, it was […]

7 years ago

Steven Gerrard appears to have competition for the job of future Liverpool manager Former Real Sociedad, Liverpool, Bayern Munich and Real Madrid midfielder Xabi Alonso has won his very first trophy in his inaugural season as a manager, leading the Real Madrid under-13s (stop laughing) to a league title. It was a convincing championship too, […]

7 years ago

I will never forgive you for fielding the worst Aston Villa lineup of my lifetime, Alex The date is November 21, 2011. Alex McLeish, recently appointed Aston Villa manager, lines his team up in the following formation to face Spurs away at White Hart Line, attempting to nullify a Tottenham attack consisting of players like […]

7 years ago

The Flag Wars have begun, the end is nigh A rogue group of Brexiteers woke up at 6 am this morning to replace all the European Union flags along Parliament Square with 34 Union Jacks, opposite where the television cameras typically line up. Now, I know what you’re thinking. That sounds like a completely pointless […]

7 years ago