
Matthew McConaughey to headline Cannes Film Festival line-up
McConaughey is finally shining as brightly as his suits…
11 years ago
JOE
Articles written by the more mysterious members of the JOE editorial team

Matthew McConaughey to headline Cannes Film Festival line-up
McConaughey is finally shining as brightly as his suits…
11 years ago

Lionel Messi looks to emulate hero Jack Wilshere with new tattoo
“I’ll show you later, Jack”
11 years ago

Is this the most indulgent beer in the world?
You can’t spell ‘Ben and Jerry’s’ without ‘beer’…
11 years ago

Video: Drone crash video brings us down to earth
Sorry to drone on…
11 years ago

Japanese gameshow combines karaoke with hand jobs…no, really
Let’s give them all a big hand…
11 years ago

Video: Australian commuter defends Muslim woman against Islamophobic train rant
Not allowed to suffer in silence…
11 years ago

Whole town in shock after alligator eats beloved dog
The citizens of Mobile were left stunned
11 years ago

Spurs to face MLS All-Star XI – but can Gerrard and Lampard play together?
Maybe playing behind Bradley Wright-Phillips will bring the best out of them…
11 years ago

JOE’s 5-Word Transfers: Falcao, Balotelli, Valencia, Milner, Fuchs
Falcao to take Balotelli’s place? The Daily Star report that Radamel Falcao’s imminent Manchester United exit will not spell the end of his time in England, with Liverpool lining up a shock move for the Colombian. We’re not sure what Brendan Rodgers has seen in Falcao that we haven’t, but he may be ready to cut […]
11 years ago

Video: Paul Walker fools Tyrese Gibson with brilliant Vin Diesel impersonation
Paul Walker was a braver man than we are… It takes balls to impersonate Vin Diesel considering the ass-kicking the Hollywood muscle-head could hand out, but that’s exactly what Walker does in this video…fooling Fast & Furious co-star Tyrese Gibson. Walker, who died in a car accident in November 2013, was never seen as the […]
11 years ago

Video: Russian football fan falls from stadium roof after terrifying stunt
The things people will do just to watch Dmitri Kombarov…
11 years ago

Marvel unveils epic new Avengers: Age of Ultron images
Striking while the Iron’s hot…
11 years ago

Pope’s iPad sells at auction – for just $30,500
“Going once…going twice…sold!”
11 years ago

British band The Rifles retract ‘support’ for UKIP
“You know, I’d never actually listened to them before.”
11 years ago

Video: Robbie Keane sings along to Karma Chameleon
“Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, chameleon…”
11 years ago

Where will Jurgen Klopp go next? Five potential destinations for the Dortmund boss
“It’s not your fault Adrian, I just think we should see different football clubs”
11 years ago

How not to live blog a German press conference…
We’ve all been there… Standing in line at the bäckerei or boulangerie hopelessly praying that our GCSE language skills save us from embarrassment. But most of us have never ended up running a live blog in which we were supposed to translate a German press conference. That’s what happened to The Telegraph’s Ben Bloom on […]
11 years ago

PokerStars to pursue Neymar after Ibrahimovic bid fails?
Will there be a ‘full house’ in Paris tonight…?
11 years ago

Video: Legendary boss bumps up everyone’s wage to £50,000 a year
Get that man a beer…
11 years ago

Hillary Clinton may have the best 404 page on the interweb
US politics isn’t really our bag here at JOE…that is, until we came across the 404 page on Hillary Clinton’s campaign website. You know, that little error page that redirects you when you’ve hit a broken link. Well, take a look at this excellent example that might – just might – carry ‘Hillary for America’ all […]
11 years ago

United fans hijack vote in bid to make Balotelli Liverpool’s player of the year
Mario Lolotelli…
11 years ago

Petr Cech OWNS fan with this brilliant reply on Twitter
He owns him. He f**king owns him. Owned. Ouch. Burn. Zing. Don’t mess with Petr. Come at the Petr, you best not miss. OWNED. https://twitter.com/baelyblind/status/588061942717292547 https://t.co/OUgDDpTKzt. I doubt that as Slovenian he could play for the Czech team 😂😯😮🙈🙊😳 — Petr Cech (@PetrCech) April 14, 2015 Owned.
11 years ago

Pic: Man City women’s team stars snapped with Louis van Gaal
When your club have just lost 4-2 to their bitter rivals in the Manchester derby, it probably isn’t the best idea to be pictured grinning with the opposition manager. But that’s exactly what happened to Man City women’s team players Toni Duggan and Isobel Christiansen on Sunday night. Duggan put the photo on Instagram with the […]
11 years ago

Obese soldiers told to attend ‘fat clubs’ to get back into shape
Chunky soldiers have been ordered to attend army ‘fat clubs’ after medical checks ruledsome troops are too overweight to fight. The Mirror report that a diet of fry-ups for breakfast and chips with every meal has led to a number of soldiers being ‘medically downgraded’ ahead of planned tours to Iraq and Afghanistan, with senior officers forced to step […]
11 years ago

Leverkusen sack Emir Spahic for headbutting a steward
Footballers are notorious for getting away with murder, protected by clubs willing to defend the indefensible to protect their investment. But it turns out there is a line they shouldn’t cross…which was emphatically discovered by Bosnian defender Emir Spahic this week. The centre-back has been sacked by Bundesliga side Bayer Leverkusen for headbutting a steward […]
11 years ago

Jermain Defoe’s appearance at WWE in Newcastle was a bad idea
I was saying boo-urns…
11 years ago

This combined Man United and Man City Premier League XI is frightening
A combined Man United and Man City team without Paul Scholes, Eric Cantona or David Silva? *Reaches for tin hat* There isn’t even a place for Sun Jihai or Tom Cleverley. Big decisions had to be taken to squeeze just 11 of Manchester’s finest into one team ahead of Sunday’s derby but we’ve come up with […]
11 years ago

This picture of a cat has been driving the internet crazy
Up or down?
11 years ago

Video: Hacker recreates ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ on computer hardware
Not your usual Nirvana performance…
11 years ago

Liverpool shock everyone with new RED home kit
The wait is finally over. Liverpool have revealed their new home shirt for next season…and it’s RED. A packed Anfield crowd celebrated the launch of the New Balance strip, while Twitter had a titter about the irony of the manufacturer’s name and Steven Gerrard… This is the new Liverpool's home kit for the season 15/16. […]
11 years ago

Video: Man films scary tornado damage from inside a crumpled van
This is a pretty close call…
11 years ago

Twitter did not take too kindly to Stuart Pearce’s combined City and United team
Oh Stuart…
11 years ago

Video: Heartbreaking moment little boy realises his pet is gone forever
This is pretty touching..
11 years ago

German Schoolboy takes exam prep to the extreme
Who knew you could use the law to your advantage?
11 years ago

12 things to look out for in this weekend’s Premier League action
There’s a huge weekend of Premier League action ahead, so we’ve picked the big storylines you’ll need to look out for. No need to thank us… 1. A comparison between Sherwood and Pochettino’s win percentages The People’s Gaffer is back at the Lane on Saturday with a point to prove following his exit last summer. […]
11 years ago

Video: Cop caught on ’emergency’ pizza run
OUTTA MY WAY, IT’S AN EMERGENCY!
11 years ago

Clarkson pulls out of presenting Have I Got News For You
Why did the chicken cross the road?
11 years ago

Video: Man lets his GIANT PET LEECH suck his blood
NOPE…
11 years ago

FIFA farce: England women’s team to replay final seconds of Euro qualifier
Norwegian blue…
11 years ago

Psychedelic drugs like MDMA and mushrooms ‘as safe as playing football’
Using psychedelic drugs is a safe as riding a bike or playing a game of football, the heads of a drugs research organisation have claimed. Legal argument aside for a moment: Judging by this horror-show Sunday League compilation video, we’d be forced to agree. Teri Krebs and Pål-Ørjan Johansen argue in the Lancet Psychiatry journal […]
11 years ago

Did you know we’ve just had ‘Lost Day’? Fear not – answers are here…
Lost in numbers…
11 years ago

7 reasons why 300-goal Cristiano Ronaldo is the greatest we’ll ever see
288 appearances. 300 goals. There’s a term they use in sport science – outlier. Basically, it’s a nice way to label someone a freak without actually calling them a freak. You’re just saying that they lie outside the curve. A freak suggests something flukey, you see. Something not right. But it also suggests something so completely out of the […]
11 years ago

Man vs Food hero in ‘I am vegan’ shock announcement
Adam Richman has dropped the V-Bomb…
11 years ago

Video: Jeremy Clarkson runs amok in the latest Cassetteboy remix
Somebody needs to check on Alastair Stewart…
11 years ago

Video: Jack Nicklaus nails hole-in-one at Masters par-three contest
‘How about a hole in one?’ he quipped before the shot…
11 years ago

Video: Sam Allardyce reveals how close he was to England job and talks United dream
He probably would’ve got it if his name was Allardici. You could maybe say close call but considering Steve McClaren beat him to the post, we’re not sure if England really were better off. But the disappointment of missing out on the national job still irks big Sam and no dossier is going to make him […]
11 years ago

Mario Balotelli really was sick last night and he even has a picture of himself to prove it
Everyone knows that your normal body temperature is only 37 degrees Celsius. When you’re taking to Instagram to prove your sickness though, surely you must realise that your career has taken a turn somewhere. Mario Balotelli missed Liverpool’s FA Cup victory last night at Ewood Park. The Reds saw off Blackburn 1-0 in their quarter […]
11 years ago

JOE’s 5-Word News: Prank, Vegan, Map, Ugly, Cameron
5 words of delicious news for you…
11 years ago

5-Word Transfers: Alves, Xavi, Sterling, Clyne, Brahimi
United after Dani Alves So it seems Louis van Gaal is finally thinking about playing a full-back at full-back. Manchester United are hot on the tails of Brazilian right-back Dani Alves, the Daily Mirror report. The 31-year-old has been offered a new contract at Barcelona but, after 13 seasons in La Liga, he could be lured to Old Trafford with […]
11 years ago

Is this the WORST revenge prank ever?
Manchester mates get embroiled in a DIY tattoo prank-war…
11 years ago