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26th Apr 2017

USA Soccer Guy’s Manchester derby pregame preview

One of the most eagerly anticipized soccer matches in the entire season

Soccer Guy

The English city of Manchester, England, is best known for being the hometown of The Beatles.

The music of Paul, John, George and Mick kinda put the place on the map, although nowadays the city is known for the two humongous soccer franchises that call the place home.

And this Thursday, the eyes of EPL League fans right around the world will be on the place as the Manchester Unity and Manchester City Franchise Club come together for one of the most eagerly anticipized soccer games of the entire soccer season.

Traditionally one of the most winningest franchises in the entire British league, the Manchester Unity have kinda sucked since Saint Alex Ferguson got bored of winning stuff and hung up his coaching manuals a few years back.

While the Unity fans long for yesterday, Manchester City Franchise Club, a franchise that sucked real bad for a real long time, have become pretty great. As any of their fans will tell you, you don’t have to be Frankenstein to go figure the day they became one of the biggest franchises on planet soccer: the day American international Claudio Reyna arrived.

Reyna’s arrival was a ticket to ride to the good times for the formerly-lame light-blue uniformed franchise, who were also helped in a small way by the Abou Diaby owners they got a few years later.

Now, as the end of the long and winding road that is the EPL League season approaches, the two franchises are looking to confirmize some Euro Soccer Cup soccer for next season by finishing in the Awesome Foursome places.

The Unity missed out last season, but a win over their ‘real loud neighbors’ will help them get back in time for next season. They’ll have to try and go get the victory points without their scoringest player, Zlatan Abramovic, who kinda messed up his leg real bad while trying to do soccer last week.

Despite the loss of their MVP, the Soccer Satans still have a whole bunch of real awesome offensive soccer players on their roster to make sure Thursday’s game is a hard day’s night for their opponents, with Irish guy Mick O’Taryan – their second scoringest player this season – also ready to lace up his cleats and turn the awesome up.

Pip Guardiola will be hoping that some real good deefense from his guys will mean the Unity can’t get no satisfaction in this game. After the Spanish guy ordered a Hart-transplant at the start of the season, he’s kinda goofed around with the goaltender position, and put one of his buddies in there. Because of this, his guys have seen way too many soccer balls in their Soccer Goal Interior this season.

With lame-ass goaltenders, the City’s EPL World Championship dream kinda died a long time ago. Despite this, the pretty neat attacking play from guys like Kevin the Brain might just mean that they can work it out against the Unity when the clock strikes soccer o’clock on Thursday.