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14th Apr 2022

Bizarre theory suggests Loch Ness monster could be ‘whale’s penis’

April Curtin

All this time we’ve been searching for a penis in the water

The reason we’ve struggled to track the Loch Ness monster down for so long is because the creature is actually a whale’s penis, one professor has argued.

Michael Sweet, professor in Molecular Ecology at the University of Derby, believes that the myth about the creature comes from drawings that travellers and explorers drew back in the day.

The professor claims that the drawings of “tentacled and alienesque” creatures are actually drawings of a whale’s willy during mating season, the Daily Record reports.

Posting on Twitter, Prof Sweet said: “Back in the day, travellers/explorers would draw what they saw.

“This is where many sea monster stories come from, i.e. tentacled and alienesque appendages emerging from the water – giving belief to something more sinister lurking beneath…however, many cases it was just whale di*ks.

“Whales often mate in groups so while one male is busy with the female, the other male just pops his di*k out of the water while swimming around waiting his turn. Everyone’s gotta have a bit of fun, right?” he added.

“One female whale is typically paired with a primary escort (male) and a group of males will try to fight for their right to overthrow the escort and earn mating rights.

“A competition pod can have just a handful of whales or a larger group of 12-15.”

Professor Sweet’s tweet exploded across Twitter, gaining well over 90,000 likes. Many were just obsessed with the fact that whales boast their penises openly in the wild.

“Why were the whales showing their d***s off to random people?” one said.

“I’ve never been more mad about anything in my entire life,” another added.

But not everybody was willing to take on this theory.

“I respectfully disagree,” one person wrote, “Nearly all depictions/descriptions of “long necks” have been very dark in coloration, and whale penises are very light colored, and pink. No one would confuse that with what these other people have seen.”

Of course, this guy is certainly not the only one to still have faith in old Nessie.

It was only two weeks ago that a Loch Ness monster spotter recorded a video which marked the first official sighting of 2022.

And last year, a wild camper got a monster of a surprise when he looked back on his 4k drone footage to see what he appeared to show the creature.

It seems that this whale penis theory won’t convince everyone – and for now, the Scottish monster lives fight another day…

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