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24th Jun 2018

Britain is on the brink of a halloumi shortage and people are devastated

James Dawson

Quickly, go to your supermarket and stock up

Fill up your car’s tank, grab your CB Radio, your medicine, your loved ones, your shotgun – because I’m sorry to have to announce that the grilled cheese apocalypse may soon be upon us.

Yes, I shit you not, according to reports, farmers in Cyprus finding it difficult to meet demand for halloumi due to its ever-increasing popularity. Which is presumably due to it being delicious. Absolutely delicious. What bacon is to meat, it is to cheese.

The food is said to be out of stock in a number of supermarkets across the country as BBQ season enters full swing, leading to panic on social media.  “Are people panic buying it? I’ve been trying to get hold of some for two weeks,” one person wrote on Twitter – their unhinged thirst for the stuff palpable in every word.

But there’s good news, the main producer of commercial halloumi, Pittas, has responded by sending emergency supplies across Europe by road to stores that do not want to wait the normal four weeks for it to arrive by sea.

“It costs more money to send it that way but Brits love their halloumi,” company director John Pittas told the Daily Mail.

Not all heroes wear capes.