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11th Jul 2018

200,000 England fans sign petition for Bank Holiday on Monday

Monday is going to be rough @Theresa May plz listen to the people and give us a day off. Plz then also resign.

Kyle Picknell

The petition has been posted on the government’s website

At 8:30am today a petition calling for a national holiday on Monday if England win the World Cup reached the magic number of over 100,000 signatures.

As it stands a staggering 200,000 names have signed up, which means it will now be debated by parliament.

The petition, posted by Liam Betson, states that the entire country should be given the Monday off work as the next day “will not be pleasant for all fans.”

“Will not be pleasant”, of course, meaning in this instance ‘complete and utter chaos as the country descends into a week-long festival of singing, dancing, jumping through bus shelters and climbing up lamposts.’

Disclaimer: Please do not jump through bus shelters or climb up lamposts. You see that lovely man above? Would he approve of that behaviour? No. No, he would not.

Make him proud, do it for him, just jump about in a waistcoat like a good, sensible lad.

Jeremy Corbyn has previously called for a Bank Holiday if England win the tournament, and MP Emily Thornberry has backed the plans.

A spokesperson has said: “The World Cup is a very special international competition. It’s something that brings people together on a very large scale and we need recognition of that and recognition of the importance of football in the country.”

As of yet, Downing Street has yet to comment on the support behind the Bank Holiday, proving once and for all that Gareth Southgate is the only leader this country can now rely on.

Do it for all of us, Gaz. Bring football home and we’ll see you on Monday for a pint or two.

You can watch England beat Croatia tonight at 19:00.