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21st Sep 2023

Comedian opens up on her struggles as a 36-year-old virgin

Charlie Herbert

She’s only kissed five men in her life

A stand-up comic has opened up about her struggles being a virgin at the age of 36.

US-born comedian Sonali Chandra was raised in a conservative household where she was taught sex is a sacred act between husband and wife.

Her parents wouldn’t allow her to have sleepovers or even to go on dates. They also didn’t let her go to prom or live in a dorm at college.

“My strict upbringing absolutely has had a profound impact on my dating life. I was not allowed to socialize and dating was a big no-no,” Chandra explained.

And in later life, her virginity has been a stumbling block for her in the dating world, with a number of men “ghosting” her when they find out.

The business manager told Truly TV: “The first time I ever told a guy that I’m still a virgin was when I was 26.

“The guy who was my first kiss, my first actual relationship, he was shocked. His jaw dropped and he asked if I was gonna be a virgin for eternity.”

On her 27th birthday, Chandra was waiting for her then-boyfriend to message back, only to realise that he had ghosted her after a chat about her virginity.

This was a pattern that would repeat itself for Chandra in the years to come.

She said: “Whenever these guys have ghosted me I have gone through emotional hell. It’s heart-wrenching and makes me think that guys only think I’m good for sex.”

Each time Chandra makes her stance on sex clear to a someone she’s seeing, she says they “turn into a jerk.”

She added: “I consider sex sacred and special. In fact, I don’t even like the word ‘sex’, I prefer ‘making love’. I’ll be ready when I have a ring from ‘the one’.”

She told the Daily Star that she had dated nine men in her life, with three of them being serious relationships.

Chandra explained that her upbringing meant she had been “forbidden from developing” the skill of dating in her teenage and college years.

But she doesn’t want an arranged marriage as she doesn’t want her “parents deciding who I have sex with.”

Absolutely fair enough on that one.

Related links:

Seth Rogen discusses the joke that he regrets making in The-40-Year Old Virgin

Woman who paid to lose her virginity at 43 is now looking for someone to be with for free

‘I’m 24 and my dream is being a housewife – I only date men who follow my strict rules’